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***Taylor's POV***
-past tense~
March
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"I trust you but I have to tell you some things" I say and it's important. Jay nods, staring at me with his glowing blue eyes. It's important that I start this sincerely too, I can tell and read from his body language that he is being honest with me and I ought to do the same.
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"I'm a bad person." I begin and he watches me captivated.
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"I was just living with him, and we sleep in seperate beds. But there has been an instance where something has happened between myself and Ross. Not recently. But before and I realised that he was falling further for me, he's attached and I was just kind of going along with it because I'm an awful terrible person" I say and he gives me a wry smile, I sip the champagne deciding that drinking is the only answer for this conversation.
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"I told you once that I liked everything about you. I know you and I won't pretend you don't have a naughty side Taylor. And whilst I want you too myself, completely. You were single and I'm not judging you." He says smiling his hands travelling up my arms.
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"Jay really I don't deserve you" I explain and he shakes his head, standing slightly before moving his chair so that's he's sitting beside me.
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"You deserve much more than me" he says staring into my eyes. He kisses me lightly on my lips, laying his charm on me fully as I become weaker and weaker for him.
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"You do honestly, if anything I do not deserve you. And I get that you're still working things out for yourself" he says maturely as the waiter serves our mains. Lobster risotto with homemade stuffed pasta is surely a dish I've never tried before and I cannot wait to experience the flavours.
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"That woman, over there" I say giggling as I take one of the oysters from our share plate.
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"She has eye fucked you twice" I tell him and he laughs as I squeeze a drop of lemon over my oyster before tilting it and spooning out the contents in a more lady like fashion. He leans back, one arm hooked around me with one leg crossed over his knee just oozing confidence.
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"Mmm" I say eating the oyster and he smirks.
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"I love how much you love food, I want you to try everything" he smiles over at me and I giggle.
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"Oh and Taylor, I want you. Because I want you and only you, not some woman that has eyed me in a bar" he explains.
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"I want to make you say mmm more too" he giggles and I blush.
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"Oh really" I jibe with him as he looks up at me pausing briefly and taking a deep breath which allows me to wander just what he may be thinking.
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"When I was with Rach, don't laugh, but I could only ever think about you. Don't get me wrong I should have ended things or not started seeing her at all. But she would say things and in my head I would think well Taylor wouldn't say that. And it wasn't just physical, I needed to connect with you and I couldn't get my head around it" he says shocked by his own honesty.
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"I can't just get with other women now. Considering that used to be my main coping mechanism for problems in my life, that became an issue" he laughs and I stare back at him. He glances over the at band, before serving his oyster up and eating like a gentleman.
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"I don't expect anything back from you, but I'm more than happy to be exclusively yours" he says softly, and it's enough for me to fall all the way. My heart pounds as I lean in and kiss his lips, slowly. Just a slow brush of the lips that he neither deepens nor rejects. He simply appreciates the moment. My body and mind want him. What girl wouldn't I tell myself as we finish off what has to be the most flavourful food I've ever tasted.
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Jay, dressed in his crisp white shirt, with many of the buttons undone, stands up and takes me to the dance floor. He pulls his arms around me and I smile looking up at him under the twinkling lights of the chandeliers.
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"What kind of date would this be if there was no dancing" he smiles down at me, and I've grown to love his impromptu ideas. He cups my waist with his hands and I sway with him. My dress is almost backless and I can feel his hands on me. My hips sway in time with him and before I know it three songs have come and gone. Jay takes his time and allows me all of the space in the world to move around him. He holds my body but he makes sure he doesn't over step the mark either. Melting into his arms I realise that I've never been held before in a dance in the way Jay holds me, he charms me without any words at all.
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"More champagne?" He asks in my ear and I soften to the feeling of his lips by my neck.
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"One glass" I say and he smiles.
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Escorting me over to the bar he holds my hand in his own before ordering another bottle. We sip at our champagne enjoying the atmosphere, the views over the lake that are truly magnificent.
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"What would you like to do now" he smiles down at me as I set my glass down on the side. It's a champagne flute of the finest quality, clear crystal, the kind of glass my mother would admire. Telling me that it was worth money. I smirk slightly before looking up at him.
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"More dancing ?" He says softly and I smile happily wishing to be back in his arms. I nod and we head back over to the slightly busier dance floor standing in the middle underneath the large chandelier as the band begins to play again.
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"You know Jay, I'm convinced we can make a dancer out of you" I say in his ear as he holds me into him closely.
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"We can" he says back in my ear, his hand lightly rested on my back, his other hand intertwined with my own.
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"We can do anything in this world" he whispers and I find that I love this side to him, the dreamer. I do suspect he has the means to make all of his dreams a reality, not only is he able to spend hundreds of dollars on champagne but he also has the charm and character of a very successful man who gets what he wants from life.
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Losing all count of the number of songs we dance to. I gaze into his eyes and smile.
"Jay baby" I whisper in his ear and he smiles, that wide grin that I want to see more often. Rubbing my back briefly he looks down into my eyes and I feel the heat behind his stare.
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"Yes darling" he says in his southern accent.
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"It's nearly midnight" I smile up at him and he chuckles, also unsure of where the tine has gone.
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"Are you Cinderella?" he says in my ear and I giggle.
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"That's nice" he comments his mouth on my ear lightly brushing it with his lips.
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"What's nice" I say back playfully.
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"You laughing with me" he says softly stroking my back. I kiss his cheek nicely and sweetly.
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"That's even nicer" he whispers holding me into his chest, swaying slightly as he cradles me in his arms.
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We remain in each other's embrace for another hour. He just spends time with me. Neither of us expect anything, we are just there for each other. Enjoying the moment, the company and the music.
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"I have had you all night in my arms. I can give you back now" he whispers in my ear. Wrapping my arms around his neck and linking my hands together, I push my chest slightly so that it's flush against him. Wanting him, desiring him.
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"Taylor, behave" he sighs with a wry smile.
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"Or what?" I whisper in his ear kissing his neck before looking up at him.
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He gently spins me around so I'm facing the other way, arms still around my waist, my body flush with his.
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"Or I will take you home with me" he whispers in my ear. I smile and rock my hips against his.
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"I love this side to you" he says in my ear and I grin.
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"Who am I kidding, I love everything" he whispers.
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Spinning me around again, so that I am facing him, we stare into one another's eyes as the song fades out. He escorts me to the cloakroom for our coats, placing mine over my shoulders before walking me down the stone steps and over to the rolls Royce.
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"I would love to invite you to mine but I think that's more like a third date thing isn't it" he giggles resting one hand on my thigh as he drives.
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"Yeah or second" I smirk pulling my phone out of my purse. Cursing slightly when I check it seeing messages from Matthew.
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Taylor, I'm sorry for the party. That was totally rude and I'm not proud of my behaviour. I just wanted to see how you were. I miss us so much. I miss feeling you next to me in bed, I miss sitting in front of the fire, I miss eating together and talking on the way home from uni. So yeah I just wanted to talk that's all. And I'm trying to give you space and not call you. But I still love you just as much as I did before.
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Matthew has been struggling with our time apart, I have been focusing on myself. I haven't been there for him, and that is cruel. I decide instantly that the best course of action would be to just talk things through. And so I text him asking him to meet me tomorrow somewhere other than the canteen. He replies straight away. So we're meeting at the cafe during our lunch hour.
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"Matty just texted me" I blurt out as Jay turns to me briefly.
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"You okay ?" He asks softly and I'm shocked altogether by his continuous caring behaviour, he is unwavering.
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"I feel like I'm busy working on my life and he's still thinking about us. But I can't be with him, It reminds me of everything" I say awkwardly.
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I glance over at Jay, trusting him completely with all of my little secrets. He is utterly concerned I can see it on his face.
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"What happened Tay?" He ventures.
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"I felt like he saw me as this perfect girl, who couldn't do anything wrong" I begin, I've never even admitted this out loud to myself.
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"When we got over the Jen situation, things were great again. We were too involved with just each other though. I think we just got a bit too over involved. After Ross left hospital we realised we were pregnant" I say looking out of the window into the dark, not wanting to see his reaction.
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"And we went to the scans, we conceived twins. It was okay until I lost one of them. The doctors explained it was pretty common in early pregnancy for one to just yeah" I say and he rubs my arm consoling me.
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"I lost the other twin a little bit after that, miscarriage" I say and he consoles me.
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"I left uni" I tell him relieved at finally telling somebody else. Somebody I wouldn't expect to confide in.
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"You helped me through that Jay. When you visited and brought the card and flowers, even though you had no idea what my grief was it allowed me to be seen. To feel validated, to grieve" I explain.
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"And you gave me reason to get up and cook, I hadn't left bed in weeks. Hadn't even got dressed or interacted with the world" I finish, oddly even though this isn't something one would bring up on a date. Either way with jay, any conversation we have he always listens.
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"You're so brave and resilient Taylor. I'm sorry that you went through that. Truly I am." He consoles me.
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"Sorry I know that is not first date conversation" I say.
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"I know that you had no idea at the time, but you really helped me in the aftermath" I say softly.
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"That's heavy, you could have told me. But I understand why you didn't. I feel honoured that you told me now." He says and he rests his hand on my thigh.
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"We know each other already. And I and glad that you feel you can share things like that with me.
My mum miscarried when I was 14. I remember it because at the time she was just so upset that she couldn't give me the sibling I wanted. And I told her over and over that I just cared about her. But she wouldn't listen. She cried a lot. Now I think about it now I'm older I realise that my mum and dad had been trying for a long time to have another child and they went through a lot for that chance that they lost." He says quietly.
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"And that's not me saying I know how you feel. Because I don't. But I can empathise with that situation" he adds and I smile into my lap feeling reassured and understood as he continues on the highway. I glance out at the trees before disclosing to him that I will be settling things with Matthew, clearing the air. He nods maturely and I smile. It's important that I give Matthew some closure, I tell Jay this and he rubs my thigh.
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"I enjoyed myself tonight" Jay says smiling genuinely as he parks up outside Ross' house.
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"Me too, thank you Jay" I whisper.
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I lean in and he takes me up on the opportunity. He brushes my lips sweetly at first, the kiss deepens as I run my hands through his hair and he strokes my waist. We pull away from one another utterly breathless and he blushes.
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"Second date ?" I smile over at him.
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"Of course" he chuckles, brushing my lips one more time with his own.
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