Taylor’s POV
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I liken this feeling to what I would imagine people feel like when they are on a euphoric high. It's satiating, addictive and completely freeing. Jay has been holding onto me all afternoon, his hands not leaving me alone. Whether they are wrapped around my waist, holding my hand in his own or playing with my hair. It’s welcome and his continuous physical contact is wonderful. He makes me feel wanted and treasured.
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Heading back to the car after sharing an extra large pizza he's currently holding onto my hips, telling me jokes in my ear and kissing me occasionally. His low throaty chuckle makes me giggle and I cherish every single attempt he seizes to make me laugh.
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Looking at him and his blonde hair makes me genuinely sure of my belief that he is the love of my life, he coined that term earlier speaking to Ella. Of course I noticed it, everybody did. Matty shifted noticeably, Ross looked alarmed and Rach shot me a smile. We climb into the Audi and he cruises us back to university for our last lectures of the day. His hand rubs my thigh the whole way back to university, his other hand on the steering wheel.
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The car park illuminated by street lamps as we climb out of the car and head towards the others who are huddled smoking in a circle by Ross’ motorbike. It’s become our meeting spot and Rachel eyes me as I approach with Jay linked around my waist.
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"Taylor Elena Harris" Rach shouts removing herself from Nate’s embrace and walking towards us.
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"You are coming out on Friday no ifs or buts" she says absolutely sure of herself wrapped up in a pink flecked wool coat.
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"And we're shopping for outfits tomorrow" she exclaims as I smile holding onto Jay whilst walking over to the others. Ross eyes me casually as Justin takes a thorough look at Jay’s arms draped around me.
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"Sure, is that okay with you" I ask him smiling as we stand by Matthew and Ross.
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"Of course" he smiles.
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"You don't need to check with me" he chuckles.
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"Take my card, or you can just order takeout together and use my tablet again order all of your clothes" he suggests with a grin as I clap my hands and Rachel beams.
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"We could come over?" She asks, looking over to Nate as she smiles.
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I glance up at Jay through my lashes. Blinking at him and smiling. We could go to the apartment, not the lake house, that's our place.
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"Of course we could order Chinese" he says stroking my back.
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"And have a few beers, you’re all invited” he adds as I kiss him on the cheek.
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"Tomorrow it is then" I say to them smiling.
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"Nice" Nate says smiling.
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"I don't mind cooking" I add as an afterthought.
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"Taylor your cooking is better than takeout" Rach laughs as Ross nods.
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"Okay I'll buy some food for the apartment tonight" I say and Jay smiles over at me. Jay takes me into his arms in front of everybody, he’s openly affectionate. He doesn't find the right moment he orchestrates the whole thing.
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Wrapping his arms around me, pulling me into his chest he kisses me passionately and slowly. I kiss him back delicately and then he releases me smiling.
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"I'll meet you outside dance" he says smiling as I force myself to walk away from that intense kiss and concentrate on anything but him.
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***
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The studio is practically empty when I arrive, my dance teacher lets me know that my interview is in a couple weeks when I begin warming up on the barre. I work myself to the max and when I’m warm I strip down and pull a leotard on.
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By the end of rehearsals my feet are aching as I walk my bare feet out into the performative space through the back stage door that connects to the studio space. The darkness engulfs me as I stare out into the stage and begin thinking about the performance I need to set up. As I walk out to the centre stage I notice a figure almost concealed by the racks of chairs. Staring into the dark I can just about make out his dark and long hair. His eyes flicking up to me as I look back at the interconnecting wall noticing that the studio is visible from where he stands. The lights illuminating the studio space through the wall. Two curtains pulled over intentionally to see through. I walk over to Justin Teller resolutely deciding not to make this weird. He eyes me like a wild animal on my approach unsure of what I might say to him.
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“I’m just setting up the space in my head” I explain as he nods softly eyeing my hip bones in my leotard.
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“I wasn’t watching” he stutters as my mind races reminding myself that I changed in the studio.
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“What are you doing then” I ask lightly, pulling my ballet wrap around my chest and leotard. He laughs and looks away which makes the whole scenario utterly weird.
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“I was hoping to catch you after” he says softly as I nod.
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“Just to chat, Ross said to stop asking him about you and so” he goes on and I feel my cheeks burning out of embarrassment realising that I had gotten down to my bra and put my leotard on in the studio after my warm up.
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“And” I say oddly pacing back through the open space of the stage area, there’s no other reason for an English major like him to be in here.
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“And” he murmurs pursuing me.
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“I just wanted to get to know you” he says oddly as I nod walking backwards to the dark curtains intent on reaching the studio door so that I can escape to the changing rooms.
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“Justin this is a little you know off” I murmur feeling the curtains behind me as he watches me.
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“What is?” He asks catching up to me as I turn to face the wall trying to locate the door in the dark.
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“Sitting in the dark and watching me through a window” I explain.
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“I was not watching you though you are an incredible dancer” he whispers from directly behind me. I feel his breath on my neck as I reach out and successfully grasp onto the door handle. Pushing the door open allowing light to stream through into the backstage area as I breathe out steadily.
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“I’m going now” I say formally walking through to the studio as he clears his throat. One brush of his hand on my lower back shocks me and my cheeks burn realising that he just tried to touch me.
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“Justin” I practically shout as he jumps.
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“Don’t touch me” I say forcefully pushing my way through the door.
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“I’m sorry” he murmurs as I quickly collect my stuff and practically run towards the studio door.
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The female changing room is thankfully empty as I run one of the showers and climb into the cubicle getting undressed before standing under the steady stream and sobbing. Telling myself over and over again that he just touched my back and not to overreact. Not to make this a big deal, however the idea of him lurking behind the stage door in the dark frightens me.
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Having pulled myself together and quietened my sobbing I pull clothes on and dry my hair off. Grasping my bag and pushing the changing room door open to see Jay standing outside. I practically run into his arms as he wraps himself around me and whispers a hello.
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“What’s up” he says tipping my chin up to his and searching my eyes.
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“I ugh don’t want a fight.” I begin wiping my face as he shakes his head not comprehending what I’m saying.
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“Justin. I went into the stage area after rehearsal and he was there in the dark. He had been watching me, I got changed in the studio before I had known anybody was there. And he followed me and touched my back” I say, it all comes out scrambled and Jay watches me astounded.
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“What the, Taylor are you okay? He touched you!?” He says shocked as I nod and darkness falls over his eyes.
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“I’m okay I told him to leave me alone” I tell him and he shakes his head.
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“I need to” he begins as I shake my head watching his steel blue gaze.
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“No. Can we just stay clear of him” I say pleading with him as he looks down at me his anger fades and he pulls me closer.
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"I love you" I say breathless.
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"I love you more now let's get you home" he says stroking my damp hair before guiding me out to the university parking lot and safely placing me in his car.
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On the way back to the lake house Jay stops off at the store and we stock up for the party we are now hosting tomorrow.
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"Good idea" he says softly as I grasp a few bottles of Prosecco, he grabs some beers and it looks like tomorrow is going to be boozy.
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Once we've filled the car up, he refuses to let me carry anything and he drives us home. I relax sitting next to him watching the trees pass us by outside. The darkness takes over the lake and the moon shines reflecting light over it. I watch the lake glisten as we pass it begging myself not to spiral because of Justin Teller, to just forget about it and pretend it didn’t happen.
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"Hey...I love you" he says rubbing my thigh.
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“Hey I love you more” I smile back as he pulls into our driveway.
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"We're home. Fuck it's just proper hit me that you're mine and that we live together" he smiles.
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"No regrets?" I smile.
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"Fuck no. You're mine now Taylor don't ever think I'm letting you go" he laughs parking in the garage.
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"Mmm that makes me happy" I say.
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"I intend on keeping you forever" he says and then heads around to open my door for me.
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We take our stuff in and I start cooking for him. He unpacks everything and puts it all away as I fry up some onions, I'm making us burgers. As I'm making up a salad he comes up behind me pulling my hips into his. Rubbing my tummy with his hands. He makes me feel at home and safe as he holds me.
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"Jay" I say smiling.
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"Taylor" he says his hands travelling over my tummy and up to my breasts.
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"Mm" I say as his hands find my nipples under my clothes. He slowly removes my clothes until I'm naked in the kitchen.
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"You're overdressed" I comment smiling facing him as he grins. Pulling his pale blue shirt off I massage his chest before unbuttoning his jeans and easing them down his hips.
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"My love I'm going to fill you with babies" he sighs as he turns me around and thrusts into me.
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"My babies, our babies, our future" he sighs passionately. My ovaries burst and I moan his name.
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"Please Jay" I plead as he's thrusting back and forth inside of me.
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"I love you" I whisper as he pounds into me.
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"I love you baby" he says his lips caressing my neck and checking in that I am okay as he whispers in my ear.
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"I can't believe that I managed to get you to be with me" he whispers in my ear as I giggle and he kisses my neck smiling.
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"The times I've thought about having sex with you Taylor" he whispers.
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"And now I'm doing it in our own home" he whispers as I begin to let the pleasure take over me. He kisses me softly and sweetly as we get our breaths back.
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"I'm going to finish the cooking" he smiles turning me around as he offers me his shirt to wear. I pull it over my bare body as he pours me a glass of wine.
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"Here" he smiles and I sit on the stool in his light blue button up shirt with my wine. He stares at me and then goes to check the burgers.
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"You look beautiful in that shirt babe" he says facing the other way but I can tell he's smiling.
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"Light blue suits you" he adds.
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He serves up my dinner at the table and I hop down from the stool joining him at the oak table with my wine, his shirt swinging around my hips.
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“Shall I talk to Justin” he asks seriously as he gazes up at me from the head of the table.
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“I don’t know Jay I don’t want it to escalate” I say softly as he nods.
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“I know I understand” he nods again as I watch him clear the plates before coming to kneel before me.
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“I’m trying Taylor but I want to rip his throat out” he says seriously rubbing my thighs.
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“I know” I say stroking his hair as he rests his head in my lap.
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“He spied on you and touched you” he whispers looking up at me.
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“He’s not invited tomorrow” I say trying to make light of the whole situation.
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“No he’s not” he says standing before lifting me up and carrying me up the stairs. On our way back to our bedroom I declare that we must stop off at our library. He indulges me setting me down in front of the oak racks and watching me choose a paperback.
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"I love watching you make decisions" he says laughing once he’s lifted me again and we’re on route to our bed.
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"You do this cute face" he says mimicking me.
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"Oh shh" I say swatting him and dropping my books as he giggles marching me to the bed and placing me down on it in nothing but his shirt.
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"You are a Neanderthal. I try to hit you so you run with me and place me in bed and then" I say blushing.
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"And then..." he says suggestively.
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I kiss him. I put everything into it. All of my love and devotion. All of my longing. It's the most passionate kiss I've ever shared with somebody. He yields to me softening. I open my legs again and he's undoing his jeans. His hands grab onto my hips. And before I know it we're back to where we are supposed to be. Him inside of me, as close to me as he can ever get physically.
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I stare at his face, his beautiful hair falling over his forehead. I arch my hips into him and he moans in my ear.
"I can't hold on any longer" he whispers as I thrust into him and he slows on top of me.
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"Fuck" he sighs moaning as I continue thrusting my hips against his. Enjoying the warmth and the pleasure as I let go of all of my worries and yield entirely to him and this moment.
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"I love you" he whispers and I'm lost to him falling apart breathlessly as he kisses me.
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