Taylor's POV
~past tense~
March
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As we're sitting under the glistening lights, we enjoy the curry I made and I realise that it's another meal shared together. We are definitely an item, I almost laugh to myself as the apartment phone rings and he goes toward the elevator to answer it.
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"Darling" he jokes walking back through to the dining room with a large package, holding my stay with Jay starter pack. It feels like Christmas when you get new stuff to play with. I take the parcels into the bedroom and begin trying on. Everything looks great, the jeans I bought fit really nicely and I decide I'm going to wear them tomorrow. I take a quick shower in the ensuite, mainly so that I can try out my new hairdryer when I come out.
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As I stride back into the bedroom, in just my towel, I spot Jay lounging on the bed with his hands rested behind his head. Clad in just his boxers I try not to gawk at him before drying out my hair with my impressive new gadget.
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"Everything okay with your clothes?" he smiles at me once my hair is long and silky down my sides.
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"Perfect" I explain and he smirks, I just know that he wants to see the lingerie and I had deliberately saved that package to try on whilst he was around.
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I take out the red lace all in one that he had chosen and he watches me silently take off my towel in front of him. The bodysuit is pure lace with a tie up red bow at the back. The lace exposes a great deal as I step into it and pull it over my chest. Turning around to fasten the bow at the back before I feel his hands travel up my sides. He helps me with the bow and I realise that it's the sexiest thing I've ever put on.
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"This is better than I had imagined" he whispers as I tell him that it's crotchless and so he doesn't even have to take it off. Turning me around to face him, he sweeps my hair so that it is trailing down my back seizing my lips in his own.
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All business, he looks at me intently before he swiftly pins me against the large oak wardrobe. Possessing me so quickly that I am gasping for air as he moves in and out of me.
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"Taylor I am drowning in my feelings for you" he whispers in my ear and I whimper unable to form words.
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"You feel so fucking good" he whispers his strong hands touching the lace all over my body. Thrusting into me over and over again I quickly begin to feel like I'm going to surrender to him.
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"Jay you're so good at that" I say biting my lip as his hand reaches around to my mouth. I kiss his fingers and he sighs uncontrollably.
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"You're the best thing that has ever happened to me" He says as I move my hips back and into him.
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"You moving your hips like that is doing things to me" he whispers in my ear.
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We reach our happy ending together, and I practically shout out his name. His hands clasping at my nipples whilst I let go. My mind idly reminds me that we've been engaging in unprotected sex a fair bit and that rushing into things with him was not my intention. However close it's making us to one another, I remind myself of the problems I caused with Matthew and chastise myself for being so irresponsible.
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"You dont realise the affect your have on me" he says softly as he pulls me to face him, lifting me as I wrap my legs around him and he carries me over to the bed.
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"I love you" I tell him as he kisses my lips, towering over me on the bed. His lips explore my whole chest as he kisses me over the lace.
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"I love you" he whispers watching me.
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"We've been..." I begin unable to finish my sentence as he looks down at me curiously.
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"We've been having a lot of unprotected sex" I tell him and he nods understanding. His eyes search mine and he looks down at me possessively.
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"If anything were to happen, I'd be there. We're together" he says simply before laying by my side. Arms draped around me as he pulls me in close.
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"I've never thought about it before, I've always practised safe sex and never had to have this conversation. It's just with you, I'm with you in every way and I know that I love you" he explains almost self consciously.
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"I know I feel the same" I whisper stroking his face.
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“Taylor this is totally different for me” he says softly and I smile looking into his face. The expression he wears now is kind and it adds to his beauty. I stroke his blonde hair back until he falls asleep, he just promised me that he would stick by me and you cannot get more official than that.
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Once I hear his breathing deepen, I kiss his forehead before checking my phone. Ross has messaged me, over twenty times. I decide to bite the bullet and give him a call. I've made my decision and I know what I want. I stroke Jay before gliding out of the silky sheets and pacing down the stairs in the dark.
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Taking a seat at the kitchen island I dial his number, one ring and he answers. I glance over the marble worktops before I can form my words.
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"Ross, sorry yeah I know I haven't answered your messages and that's not on" I begin.
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"It's all good babe" he says softly and I imagine him sitting by his fire, with a book.
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"So I owe it to you to explain" I begin as he just waits. It's like talking to the most patient person in the world.
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"Jay and I went out for lunch on Friday and then things... " I say to Ross. How can I say this to him? Maybe he will finally hate me for having sex with him and then getting with Jay. For promising him myself, through my actions and then moving on and falling in love with Jay.
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"Jay and I are seeing how things are going to go between us" I say softly feeling his anger even through the phone. It's in the way he exhales forcefully, it's in his silence.
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"Because of the things that happened between us, I thought I should explain" I say trying to avoid his silence.
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"Jay?" He asks me softly and I defend Jay down the phone to the ends of the earth; telling Ross how much he's changed, telling him how much we've connected with one another over the past few days. He practically scoffs, but he listens all the same.
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“I didn’t know that you liked him” he stutters and I sigh.
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“It’s early days Ross, but it’s important to me that we remain friends” I explain as he breathes out and I get the sense that he is emotional. I curse myself for being so mindless and inconsiderate of his feelings.
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"I will always have space here for you." Ross says finally and I can hear the emotion behind his tone, the sadness mixed in with rage.
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"I'll see you tomorrow" he says brusquely before he hangs up.
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Wiping my eyes I stand up and shake my head. Ross being angry at me for seeing Jay was inevitable, I led him on and then metaphorically abandoned ship. I slept with him and then left, I think to myself as I make a cup of tea and grab some water for both of us. The notion that I will be hurt by Jay, is something I had considered, and perhaps after all of my wrongdoings I deserve exactly that.
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I pull myself together and take a few deep breaths before I head back up with two mugs of chamomile tea. Setting them down. On the side in the quiet bedroom, I climb back in beside Jay and smile as his arms pull me into him.
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"I got us some tea" I whisper as he stirs.
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"Why didn't you say I would have got you some" he mutters rubbing my arm.
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"Because you were asleep and I wanted to keep you that way" I explain softly.
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"You're still wearing it" he marvels hands travelling up and down the lace.
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"I like how you react to it, you touch me loads" I say smiling, as he opens his eyes looking down at my chest under the red lace.
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"Fuck Taylor" he sighs.
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"How am I ever going to sleep" he smiles.
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"Like this" I say pulling him into me stroking his back and neck.
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"I love you" I whisper to him. I talk to him whispering in his ear and he lightly kisses my chest and neck a few times before falling asleep again. I have this unusual urge to care for him, to make him feel secure and happy all of the time. I reflect on the fact that I've never really felt this way before for anybody and smile down at him sleeping his arms around me and my arms holding him back.
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