Matty's POV
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Taylor. The girl who waltzed in and changed my entire life. The one that whenever I start to draw something no matter how it starts off, no matter my intentions, I always end up sketching her.
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She glances up at me with her pretty eyes and I pull her into me.
"I remember this moment" she says and my breath hitches. She moves away from Ross, who by the way is really trying it on with her. Touching her and holding her all the time. He glances over at me briefly and scoffs thinking I’m merely charming her to get back into bed with her, it runs deeper than that for me. I want her for the rest of our lives, this thing with Jay is fleeting. She will outgrow him and he may hurt her in the process.
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I'm treading carefully here, she knows how I feel I don't need to keep saying it. She pulls her blue dress down over her thighs and I'm dying to touch her. She tucks her legs over the other side, leaning towards me and I start to wonder if she will lean on my shoulder.
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With my phone in her hands she scrolls to my camera roll and I let her because I only have pictures of us. I notice that her nails are manicured and painted cherry red as she holds her glass of wine in one hand and my phone in the other. I move my arm around her shoulders just allowing her closer to me. Rach shoots me a warning glare and I roll my eyes at her. It’s news to me that she is bothered by Jay and his feelings. More likely she doesn’t want to see a scene or a punch up, I’ll take all of the punches for Taylor and I’ll throw a fair few back too. Taylor belongs with me, not him.
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Taylor swishes her hair over her other shoulder as she scrolls to the beginning of the roll and opens up the first image. It's her. Just her, I took that picture at the restaurant I took her too. With the rose garden, the shot is framed perfectly. My inner photographer came out when I laid eyes on her. The backdrop of the roses, all white and the sun setting behind her bathing her in a golden glow.
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Relaxing next to me and resting her head on my chest, she scrolls through our entire relationship. I have all of our important moments on my phone. We have so many pictures of us just being silly laying in bed together and she laughs. I rest my arm over the side of her waist and my hand on her hip. Rach glares at me and I sigh lifting my hand away again settling on her waist.
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"I was you know here" Taylor whispers setting her eyes on a picture of her with my mum. She delineates to her carrying our children, it’s like for the past year she has erased me from her mind. And now that she’s actively looking at our memories she finally remembers.
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"Yeah you were" I say looking at the picture pushing my hair back. I'm intoxicated by her scent, the closeness of her. I need her and even though I know Jay will be here soon I don't care, he stole her from me first. I never should have allowed her to be anywhere near him.
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“This is my favourite” I whisper in her ear, resting my lips on her neck. It’s a snap I took of her when the twins were growing in her tummy. My hands draped around her waist. Ross eyes me, shooting me a quick glare before rolling up a funny cigarette.
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“This was before everything” she whispers back and I nod. We lost one of our twins in utero before we lost the second baby. It was utterly devastating and honestly I was out of my depth floundering on what the right thing was to say or do. I can blame my youth but I will regret it for the rest of my life.
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“Yes” I hear Rachel say to Nate as they stand and he walks her over to the door. She takes one look at Taylor and decides to leave her in my capable arms.
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“I remember this” Taylor whispers sticking on the picture and refusing to move on from it. We had been pregnant for a while, she was laying next to me my arms over her tummy. She's just wearing her bra and the bed covers are draped around her. From this angle you can see the slight curve on her tummy. I had to take it at the time because she was, is, the epitome of my everything.
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She glances up at me. Her eyes tell me so much, she isn't completely over me, over us. She looks at me like she used too, when I was the soon to be father of her children. Her other half; her everything. How I've longed for her to look at me like that again.
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I'm caught entirely in the moment and I stroke her hair back off of her face. She turns away settling back onto my chest. Continuing to scroll through the pictures as I watch her go through our memories. I mentally take note of the ones that she stops on. One where I'm kissing her, one at the dinner when mum got engaged to Steve, and another where we are in bed together me holding onto her tummy again. And interestingly one after the miscarriage. A shot of us at my art exhibition, we had argued before we left for it. I went through a difficult phase where after her miscarriage I did not want to get her pregnant for the fear of causing her any further pain. She had become frustrated from me always pulling away from her. We hadn’t engaged in intercourse for some time, it was a mental block for me that I couldn’t see past. How I regret that now as I gaze down at her wishing to just be close to her again.
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She holds onto my phone and relaxes hugging into me. I glance at Ross who is busy debating about some irrelevant stuff. His problem is that he always gets distracted. He does not capitalise on moments. Like I am right now. He could have been with her so many times had he of just not let me swoop in, or Jay for that matter.
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Justin however is watching my interactions with her closely. Perhaps he doesn't realise that we used to be together. He looks worried like he wants to warn her away from me. That won't be happening. She's leaning into me, I can feel her soft breathing.
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"I'm so tired" she sighs looking up at me.
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"Sleep then" I say warmly resting my hand on her hip bone. She steadies my breathing as I regulate myself to her and just like that in this moment we are together again. Her laying with me, Ross always on the side. I never could get rid of him completely. I smile for the first time in what feels like months.
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I realise she's asleep and I lounge back. Ross glances my way his deck on his lap rolling up a spliff.
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"You're a fucking dead man when Jay arrives, and he will" Ross says laughing.
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"Not even I would do that with him in the picture" he chuckles rolling it and lighting it up.
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I sigh looking down at her sleeping on me. Her hand coming up to my chest. Of course Ross is right. Jay is wild. And he's going to punch me. But I'm going to punch him back, and this moment is totally and one hundred percent worth it.
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"Yeah what's the deal with them?" Justin asks watching Taylor sleep. Again, this guy likes you too Taylor I think idly as I watch her sleep on me, holding onto me like she used too.
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"They are together, have been for a while after ugh" Ross begins glancing at her a hint of regret in his face as he licks the rizla.
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"She stayed with me and before that those two were together for a long time" Ross says looking at me smirking.
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"Oh right got it" Justin says smiling.
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Ross speaks the spliff and hands me it. Taylor remains asleep on me curling her legs up as I stroke her arm over and over again. My fingertips touching her, she's breathing lightly and I pull her in continually.
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"And anyways you stole her from me" Ross laughs as I pass the spliff over.
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"Now you know how it feels" he says laughing out loud as I flip him off.
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"Yeah I know man" I say watching her absentmindedly as she holds me.
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"What do you mean" Justin asks rather formally, he’s odd. Too interested in the facts, always wants to know everything.
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"We met Tay together, I made a move on her first. We weren't anything serious, I wanted it to be but... she chose Matthew. Lord knows why?" Ross laughs jovially.
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"She was umm..." I begin looking at her about to spill all of our secrets. Falling silent as they look at me expectantly. I back away from what I was about to say. It's not for me to say. I’m unsure as to who knows that we were expecting babies together and it’s not my place to go on about it.
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"She was and is my everything" I finish stroking her face as she sighs hugging into me again. We stay there like that for a while. The spliff hits me pretty hard and I get paranoid over Justin and his intentions for her. He looks at her over and over again. Her lips, her chest and her cream skin. He's eyeing her up when the door swings open. Light from the hall spills into our dim room. The smoke collecting in the kitchen as Jay stands in the doorway dressed in a polo and chinos, it’s an unusual look for him. He’s usually more of a biker jacket and jeans kind of guy. His expression of fury only annoys me.
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"What the, Matthew?" Jay shouts as Ross sighs whispering his I told you so in my ear. When Jay gets pissed his chest tends to beef out and he flexes his hands instinctively. This time he rolls up his sleeves and watches me with anger as Taylor rises from her sleep and I curse him. Rubbing her eyes and pulling her dress down, she stands up as he's approaching me and unexpectedly pulls him into her arms. It's like she absorbs all of his anger, it dissipates when she's holding him. I watch his expression flick to one of pain and betrayal as she looks up at him.
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"Let's talk. I missed you" she says into the dark room and I feel that statement deep in my gut.Why does she miss him? She had me. I held her and I comforted her. Ignoring her plea he looks over at me aggravated.
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"What the fuck Matthew, we had a code" he says and I feel the rise as Taylor half tugs him to the door. I stand up and Taylor turns around defending him. Looking at me her eyes pleading with me to just stop.
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"We had a code alright, and you broke it when you stole her from me" I say and I can feel the anger rising up my chest. Like my blood is heating up.
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"I didn't steal her from anybody, she left you" he tells me twisting the knife and opening up wounds I thought were healed.
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"Stop it both of you" she shouts watching my pained expression and walking out. Jay eyes me carefully as Ross curses putting his joint down in an ash tray.
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“Great job both of you” he murmurs pushing his blonde hair back as he walks out of the dimly lit kitchen in pursuit of remedying the situation.
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