Taylor’s POV
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The following day I make the breakfast, it’s my way of making things up to him and asking his forgiveness in the form of making him a fry up. As we’re eating on the go I sandwich the egg, sausage, bacon and hash browns in between two baps before pouring two coffees into takeaway cups. After all it’s the best form of apology when you’ve been a bit handsy with your boyfriend’s best friend. His best friend who also happens to be your ex fiancée. I consider my life a bit of a mess, before I pull myself back together applying my maroon lipstick and bronzer, dumping the makeup in my shoulder bag and heading out.
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Marching my heeled sandals out to the front door with the sandwiches in two containers, I open up the glass door to see that he has reversed the car out of the drive waiting for me. He grins from ear to ear watching me walk out in the sunshine wearing a dark maroon crop top and skirt. My legs have tanned off and his eyes flick down to them as I hand him his fry up sandwich before we climb into the Audi.
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“This is beautiful” he declares in his southern drawl as he takes a bite once we’re on route.
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“You deserve it Jay” I tell him rubbing his thigh.
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“I do not, you’re too good to me” he chuckles finishing it off and then sipping his coffee that I made him.
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“I’m in heaven” he laughs and I smirk over at him.
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“I’m glad you enjoy my takeaway breakfasts” I smirk as he eyes my exposed neck and the very visible hickey marks I have from our passionate sex last night. Large red and pink bruises that have blossomed over night all over my neck and chest.
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“You think I should wear a scarf” I smirk before he eyes my cleavage smiling.
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“Not a chance; you look wonderful and it’s too hot” he snickers as we turn into university and he drives straight down the lane to the dorms parking. Unlike yesterday the house is quiet as I collect my things from my bedroom, my eyes raking over the broken shelf and all of my belongings scattered over the floor. Matthew had shoved Jay into it and now my little wooden shelf I fear is broken.
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“I’m sorry about the shelf” he says with puppy dog eyes.
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“Maybe I can make you your own little shelf in the lake house” he giggles whilst wrapping his arms around me before I collect my bag and iPad.
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“I would like my own little shelf” I whisper to him smiling as the door closes behind us, we march down the stairs together and straight out into the heat. Grasping my hand in his own as we stroll through campus to our lecture. He whispers in my ear that he loves me even when a group of girls stare at him whilst we descend the steps up to the stone building.
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Settling ourselves into our seats as the lecture hastily begins and he smiles over at me before grasping my hand once more. Not one word uttered by the professor registers in my brain the entire hour, I begin to worry whether I’ll ever pass university when I cannot even concentrate on my lectures without thinking about him. He brushes my thigh and Ross shifts uncomfortably next to me as the lecture finishes and I am none the wiser as to what it has been about.
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"Tattoo all booked?” I ask Ross smiling as I stand up pulling my handbag over my shoulder as I do.
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"All booked" he smiles at me, his eyes taking in my chest uncomfortably. Quite frankly my love bites are none of his concern.
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"What are you getting man" Jay asks smiling openly, his hands rubbing my waist as we begin to walk down the steps together.
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"I'm getting a tribal thing on my leg over my scar" Ross says over to him, not entirely cordially. It’s clear my behaviour yesterday, crying in his arms over Jay walking off, has affected him. I curse myself for getting carried away and over emotional as we filter through other students and walk down the wooden hall that leads to the main doors.
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"Nice" Jay replies the sun cascading light over his features. My phone pings loudly and I answer it. Straining my ear away from the speaker as Rachel rather loudly whines that I must come to dorms for another daytime drinking session. Disconnecting the call I wrap my arms around Jay and he grins looking down at me.
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“Come on then I suppose you’re invited over for lunch” I giggle holding onto his hand.
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“I should hope so” he smirks.
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“Taylor can you make that chilli again” Ross laughs and I giggle seeing Matthew just ahead approaching us.
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“Of course Ross” I laugh, it had been his favourite meal when we briefly lived together. Whenever he had appeared upset or low, I would make him chilli for dinner. He would gaze at me wishing for our relationship to never end and I would just play along. I briefly remember our nights spent on the sofa enjoying each others company before I left him. Matthew stands before us and Jay greets him nicely as he stares at my neck in a rather annoyed and frustrated manner.
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“Yes I have love bites can we all just get over it” I say forwardly intending to stop them from all glaring at my cleavage and neck. Ross gawks at me and Matthew hides his grin before we all begin walking again.
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“Supposed to make love to her not eat her man” Ross jibes.
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“Oh I did that too” Jay laughs.
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“But I cannot help it she just tastes so darn good” Jay quips back as I shove him slightly feeling embarrassed.
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“Sorry man for hitting you” Jay looks over to Matthew, taking the higher ground and apologising.
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“Attempting to hit me” Matthew laughs and I’m positive that all is forgiven.
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“You guys broke my shelf” I laugh as Matthew holds his hands up in the air.
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“We’ll fix it” Matthew laughs as Jay grasps onto my hand that little bit tighter.
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“I’ll hold you to that” I giggle opening up the large wooden door to the house. Music already booming from the speaker in the kitchen, presumably Rachel has started partying alone. Jay catches my hand as ex number one and two walk into the kitchen.
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“Oh I need you” Jay whispers and I giggle as his hands pull my hips to the stairs.
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“Oh I need you too” I laugh as he lifts me up and carries me up to the dorm room upstairs. Fishing the key card out of his pocket as I smile rolling my eyes at how he likes to be in control of everything always including the keys to my bedroom.
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“Here darling” he smiles opening up the door. Waltzing into my room first I dump my bag and pull my sandals off too. Feeling his arms go around me from behind I grin from ear to ear.
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“I love you" he whispers turning me to face him as I wrap my hands around his neck.
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“Do I say that too much" he asks smirking.
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“Not at all." I smile stroking his face with my fingertips as he grins.
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“I love you too” I whisper before kissing him.
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“No fighting at the party” I giggle once we leave the room behind, he picks me up instead of me walking barefooted down the steps. I know we make an entrance when the others fall silent as he carries me into the kitchen before setting me down and locking lips with me. Getting my breath back as he clears his throat and I put on some beef. Ir sizzles instantly and I season it watching it brown off.
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"I'm free next" I announce turning to face Rachel who admires my crop top. Eyes darting to my neck and smirking. She raises one perfectly plucked brow at me before mouthing the words rough night. I wink at her and she giggles before kissing Nate again. Matthew lounges on one of the small grey sofa’s next to the window that overlooks campus grounds, and Ross saunters over to him with a lit cigarette.
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"Anyone want to drink to that" I add pulling out the wine and filling up my glass.
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"Yes Tay" Rach laughs her head swinging back as she sits on Nate’s knee.
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"That is more like it" she smiles standing up with her glass and having some wine.
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"Anybody else fancy a day drink" I say raising my eyebrows at Jay.
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“I have politics next” he smiles down at me.
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“But” he adds when myself and Rachel boo him.
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“I would rather be here with my girl” he smiles when I kiss him softly and Rachel laughs. Pouring a brandy for Jay and handing it to him, I head over to the hob dreaming about the lake house kitchen and the top notch gas oven there. I hum along to the music as Jay wraps his arms around me. Adding in the spices, kidney beans, tomatoes and chilli to my beef before I check on the rice.
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"Have I made you chilli yet?" I whisper looking up at Jay as he strokes my hair back.
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"Nope I would remember " he chuckles. Grasping a silver spoon I scoop some up from the sizzling pan and feed him it.
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"Wow" he says smiling.
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"That's awesome got a great kick too" he smiles as I work on a fresh salad, planning on serving some tortilla chips alongside the main meal.
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Once it's all ready I plate up two serving bowls allowing for everybody to help themselves. I place them at the centre of the table. Jay and I sit opposite each other, he's next to Nate and I'm next to Ross.
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"Thanks Tay I wish I could cook this" Rach sighs.
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"No problem" I say drinking my wine and smiling at Jay who is playing with my foot under the table.
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"Yeah thanks Tay and Jay" Nate says laughing, I smile at him. It’s a good step for us, to be nice to one another after all of the name calling and animosity.
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"What was our lecture about this morning Ross. I couldn't focus" I say looking up at him.
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“Narcissism in modern society... Fuck knows" he sighs and I laugh out loud.
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"Oh I know all about that shit" Jay laughs and I nudge him with my foot.
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“You do huh” Matthew laughs and I tense up just momentarily. However Jay only looks over at him and laughs.
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“I do Matthew yeah, I know a lot about a lot” he laughs as I flick my eyes over to Matthew before taking a few tortilla chips.
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“What is a narcissist?” Rachel asks adopting an almost childlike tone. I fork up some chilli and rice and decide to let somebody else answer.
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“A narcissist has a preoccupation with themselves. They are the most important person in their lives, they’re manipulative and they will do anything to get what they want” Ross explains softly as Matthew eyes me watching me intently.
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“Is it quite common?” She asks like it’s a common cold that anybody can catch.
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“Basically the lecturer was saying today that most people have narcissistic qualities or traits, it’s become more prevalent in modern day times. People are more self entitled and more consumed by themselves” Ross explains as everybody eats.
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“Ross you’re like the least narcissistic person I’ve ever met” she giggles and he nods smiling. Having finished I sip my wine and rake my eyes over the now empty plates, rising from my chair I collect a few of them up.
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Standing by the running water humming along to the lyrics of the song currently playing I jump slightly when a hand brushes over my lower back.
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"I'll wash up" Matthew says smiling down at me.
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Standing just to the side of the sink I collect up the washed plates and dry them before replacing them in the drawers. Sipping my wine as I watch Matthew wash everything, I lean back on the counter watching Rachel kiss Nate. And Ross speak with Jay rather animatedly most likely about tattoos. Beyond all of our differences we still always manage to maintain our friendship group, even if there was a punch up yesterday we all just get on with our lives.
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“Thanks for the chilli" Matthew says smiling at me, leaning next to me on the side.
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“Matthew it's no problem" I sigh folding my arms and looking down at my half empty glass.
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“You know I like cooking" I smile looking at him as he grins, watching me.
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“Would you like another" he asks eyeing my glass, downing the rest before handing him the glass which he fills up. I notice that he pours himself a small brandy before he leans back on the side.
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“How is everything" I say after a pause thinking about the house, the one we lived in together. The house we considered ours. It all seems so distant to me now, like a place that never existed apart from in my dreams.
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“Not too bad, would be pretty shocking if I didn't have art" he laughs but it’s not a happy laugh. Rather it makes me think that he’s going to burst into tears. I face him and he eyes my entire body as if he’s committing it to memory.
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“How is your mum and everybody else" I ask softly sipping my wine.
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“Yeah good." He says watching me closely.
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“Yesterday why did you? You know act like we were in a relationship again” he interrupts my next thought and I gasp slightly at his directness.
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“Because” I begin softly as he looks down at my face intrigued.
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“Because I’m selfish” I begin and he shakes his head confused.
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“Because we never ever said goodbye. And sometimes it’s too easy for us to just act in the way that we used too” I whisper.
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“Taylor, I remember it all" he sighs scraping his hair back and sipping more of his drink. His ring illuminates under the lights and I realise he still considers us to be engaged. I found my ring once I unpacked my belongings at the lake house alongside his note that implores me to keep him in my life. My mind travels over the words he had written, I know them as I’ve read it many times. The ring I’ve kept for safekeeping, in my jewellery box. Part of me will never be able to move on from that time in my life; being somebodies everything, his wife and the mother of his children.
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“Me too” I whisper and momentarily I am in the shoes of that girl, the one who sat next to him considering a lifetime of forever. Tuning into the music to make me feel present in the here and now rather than in my past. I sip my wine and realise I’ve finished another glass, it’s no wonder that I am unsteady and emotional.
I watch Jay lounging on the sofa with Ross, it strikes me that I’ve not seen him so relaxed and carefree whilst he shows him his tattoos on his arm. The ones I know inside out. When I gaze at him life stops for me, he is unsurprisingly handsome and any moment I have with anybody else seems to melt into the distance. It becomes part of the background. Part of something that isn't us, that isn’t part of the bubble we live in and get lost in every day. Tay and Jay, I think to myself laughing out loud. Matthew sips at his brandy and our eyes lock again.
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"This is too much alcohol too quick" I snicker as he steadies me.
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“I’m practically ready to sing and dance” I giggle as he bends his lips to my ear.
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"Do you remember" he begins softly.
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“When we used to dance together at every single party” he whispers in my ear as my eyes flick up to meet his and I’m almost one hundred percent positive from the way he looks at me that he will kiss me right here in front of Jay. Uncaring of the turmoil it will cause and not worried about the fight or taking a hit for the thrill of being in my arms again.
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“You bitch" a nasal female voice exclaims from the door. Well it wouldn't be a party without some kind of drama. And of course the object of that drama is me. As per usual. I place some distance in between Matthew and myself as Jay appears before my very eyes, between myself and Aria.
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"I have done nothing but be polite to you and try to be nice to you. You are mistaken thinking that you can just come into my kitchen and swear at me for no good reason. Now please don't embarrass yourself further by making me call campus security" I say staring her out and determined to start facing my own problems and defending myself.
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"You heard her" Jay says when Aria or whatever her dumb name is doesn't move. She huffs but I keep my cool composure and I just wait for her to move.
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"I live here, this is actually harassment" I say as she looks at me with vengeance.
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"She will break your heart" Aria says to Matty, flicking her hair back.
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"The thing is she already has my heart" Matty replies as I look up at Jay momentarily hoping a fight is not going to ensue after that statement.
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"Just leave" Matty says and his tone is serious. She turns on her heel and does just that.
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