Taylor's POV
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOyI7ghS7GP
Lamb curry night is the only way to begin to remedy the guilt I am feeling for the inappropriate interactions I've had with Gilbert Scott. Matthew and I are engaged, I said yes to him and this intense passion I'm feeling for Jay is just down to the experiences we have been through together; finding Ross, the near overdose. It's a lot, and now that life is almost back to normal those interactions will cease and I will go back to being Matthew's soon to be wife.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiEghoU2hyV
Jay is just flirtatious and passionate, I think to myself as I stir the sauce. He just does that with girls, flirts and plays around with them. My phone buzzes as I stir the rice. Glancing at the screen, I turn the music up slightly and push the kitchen door shut with my foot. Answering with a grin on my lips.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjTwVIs67V0
"Hey" I say quietly.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoYduApIUS6
"Hey, are you okay?" Jay asks concerned, I can sense the smile on his lips and I suppress my excitement at talking to him.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNbPSjCU5iH
"Yes I'm fine. Jay, are you okay?" I giggle slightly.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFv4vpzo39p
"I guess" he chuckles.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDwAxrpQSUz
"Are you sure? I feel like shit. Are you aching like I am?" He asks and I smile down the phone.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVDE1NIx3t
"Yeah, I'm aching too" I say admittedly and he sighs, I imagine him lounging on his sofa watching an action movie and drinking a fancy coffee.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcolhJ6Udty
"I just wanted to hear your voice and that way I would know how you're feeling and that you are okay" he whispers.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58WLFcZPEg
"I know this isn't exactly in keeping with distancing myself from you, but thank you for accepting my call" he says and I'm shocked all over again.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡareQCbpSwR
"No it's okay you're my friend." I tell him softly.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3PIH6UdjHx
"What are you doing?" He asks and I can tell he's smiling, a cheeky grin.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3EsV33AXVs
"I'm cooking Jay" I tell him smiling to myself in the kitchen.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyDxVEkxlYt
"Ohh nice what are you making?" He asks and I can tell that he just wants to keep me on the phone.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ak5CBjHQs
"Lamb curry. What are you doing, Jay?" I giggle.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ26o40JqiwI
"Impressive, whilst feeling all the aches that you can slave over a curry? I just ordered takeout." He sighs teasing me.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1knzBDEuY
"What did you order?" I ask smirking.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9udjMafW2K
"Chinese. Why you want some?" He laughs cheekily.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq0nRXWMvy7
"Not so sure about your lamb curry cooking abilities now?" He teases me.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8spunN6Kv
"Ohh shhh" I say softly and I can hear him sigh.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFAnydrVvAi
"You would like this curry" I tell him before thinking.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9gTOsd08C
"I'm sure that I would" he says softly.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡet4QvuBxhh
"Do you remember exactly what happened between us in Ryan's bathroom" I say just coming out with it, we haven't directly addressed it. I know that he must have been pretty high and I just wonder if he remembers how close we were.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjeT0KMNSM
"I wanted to check on you, after you kissed Rachel you looked spacey. So I gave it a minute then I followed you just to talk I swear" he explains.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhTlM1IV7u
"You kept biting your lip and it does things to me, Taylor. Talking about your dream really did things to me but you have to admit that I did ask you first before kissing you this time around because I didn't want you to slap me" he laughs.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgulZa7V6I
"Where did you touch me?" I ask him.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOIcgdACuu7
"Taylor I didn't rape you jeez. I would never ever do that. I kissed you because you were waiting for me too and you snogged me back. I literally asked you first. I kissed your neck and chest and you said my name. And I stopped because the first time I get with you will not be while we're tripping out in Ryan's bathroom. That's not okay" he says.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpa2Am3YXcM
There's a pause and I can feel his touch on my skin even though he isn't even here.
"We won't be doing that at all" I say quietly.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGOOqdY5Rn
"Okay that's fine too. I'm sorry" He says softly and I smile absolutely stunned.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgDvue2TPRw
"Why are you being so darn nice and considerate" I ask and he scoffs.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGrcHxDoYTU
"Because I actually like you, this is new for me too okay I'm normally an absolute dickhead" he laughs.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWI1SfUxZR1
"How's the curry looking?" He smirks and I laugh.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfgCTavYu5J
"It's looking like a curry" I smirk and he giggles.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmEuaZxx2BA
"Mmm I want to try it" he says and I imagine spooning food into his mouth right here in this kitchen.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO7ocl1btAn
"Can I try your curry one day Taylor" he asks me sexily and I smile.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtSeGeWQgcp
"Just the curry of course" I tell him sweetly.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2S6ChsBmtG
"I wasn't aware there were more options on the menu" he whispers down the phone, his voice catches me off guard and I gasp. Jay is totally aware of the reaction he gets out of me.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4TeZhH5mN
"I'll take all of them" he smirks and I chuckle.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwnD3CXt3Uc
"All of what" I tease him and I can feel his smile.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfxkLvjn9c
"All of you" he whispers and my breath hitches. Who wouldn't be enthralled by a man such as Jay Gilbert Scott.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaA5BJM2xw
"Jay" I whisper and he chuckles.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6JTIlrun2
"Taylor" he teases me, his voice caressing my name. I giggle and he chuckles.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTK93nanWwn
"Mmm okay I'll see you later" he says softly.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRP5u6maRv0
"What do you mean later" I laugh.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP2tiN6T9ji
"When you're dreaming in bed, I'll be dreaming about you too" he chuckles. Since when was Gilbert Scott cute, I wonder to myself.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7a4B4noRZ
"Goodnight Taylor" he says softly and my brain instantly remembers falling asleep in his arms in the hospital.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQclt99Ta6H
"Goodnight Jay" I say and he sighs.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7RYe7j2mHD
"Goodnight baby" he says softly before I hang up and pocket my phone. Placing the food on the porcelain plates, I set the table with our best cutlery. Look into the warm fire I pour Matthew some wine. We had talked about potential pregnancy, and it's something that especially after the party I'm worried about so I don't pour myself wine.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOO1DVegkhQ
Pacing through the hall over the wooden floor in my nightshirt and socks I gaze into the now dark front room and see Matthew fast asleep. I sit next to him and rub his side, he opens his eyes slightly and I smile.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWUCNe3U38J
"Hey, come eat with me" I ask.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZaxHGRBLs
"Sorry I fell asleep" he laughs and I kiss him softly.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ0EGUWixzW
"Thanks for dinner" he smiles stretching out and standing up.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxALTM5vi4
"It smells incredible" he chuckles as I sit him down at the head of the table, the fire roaring behind him. He eats heartily and I eat slowly because my tummy still doesn't feel right.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8gkFCIC1ju
"You all good? This is delicious" He asks glancing up at me.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmo5G3pJHrC
"I'm just feeling a bit funny" I tell him softly and he watches me concerned. He takes a naan that I baked and tucks into it.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl09DAqcfvq
"I'm really sorry for all that has happened, I truly love you Matthew. But in respect for our relationship I have to disclose something to you" I tell him and he looks up at me pushing his brunette hair back.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡog3M135tOq
"At the party just after I had some of the funny cigarette I went up to the bathroom, to freshen up, the room was spinning and as I began to leave Jay came in the bathroom. He just wanted to talk to me" I begin and I'm sure that I can see the realisation dawn on him before I've even said another word.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhtSLhmKOy
"What did he do?" He asks me cautiously placing his knife and fork down.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7a9ohrbRC
"He just wanted to talk to me, we've been through a lot. What with finding Ross, and I think he just wanted to try and talk things through. But we kissed. And I'm so sorry, I can blame it on the laced weed but still it shouldn't have happened. I'm so sorry, I love you so much" I blabber thinking about the shower this morning, and how he held me as I slept. What a mess.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdeKa63Yaej
He's finishes his food as I've barely touched mine. He eyes my plate and looks back at me, not saying a word.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkDQupm9w17
"Do you like him?" He asks me seriously and I regard him shocked.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwR7jk5IFak
"As a friend yes I like him" I tell him and he pushes his hair back frustrated.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdTuKD1HxmR
"What did he do to you" he asks me as I stand up and tentatively sit in his lap.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKiN29bg5mW
"I love you okay, it was totally a mistake" I say holding his chin in between my hands. He regards me and his eyes water. When he doesn't reply to me I realise I need to divulge the details of my treachery, he hasn't pushed me off of him but he isn't holding me like he usually would.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Ev0frstY0
"We kissed and he touched my shoulders and chest. He told me he could take me right there in the bathroom but we broke away from the embrace and left the room, then I tripped out." I tell him honestly.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqchB6JJGxP
“I understand, you were kind of inadvertently on heroin” he says softly.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXFLskPafo2
“Has anything else happened between you two” he asks me self consciously watching me.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ36VYU3hdWL
“I’m not judging you Taylor, he has everything. He’s pretty much the flirtiest guy I’ve ever met in my life.” He says.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5fp2Zk3Qmx
“But please be honest with me, I deserve that” he adds holding onto my hand and feeling for my engagement ring.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLvW4HMav6
“He…” I begin and wipe my eyes as he curses.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMVuXZYmnh
“He just helped me sleep last night in the hospital, I was clothed and so was he and he just laid next to me in the hospital bed” I tell him and he looks at me bizarrely. Whether it’s because I would allow Jay to do that, or that he’s just as shocked as I am that he didn’t try and sleep with me or touch me I don’t know. I cannot tell him about the shower, this would then become a full blown affair. This will become something we cannot see past, as a couple. The thought scares me, and I keep my mouth shut.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2ok7OrCcU
“He just laid with you, he didn’t touch you or anything” he asks me.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6IC3b4Nvx
“He just laid there Matthew, and when I woke up he made coffee and spoke to Rachel on the phone” I explain.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0iWmpvHapc
“Jay didn’t try to touch you or undress you?” He asks me to be sure.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVkYJLUA0Qr
“No” I tell him and he sighs.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgBmys8msR4
“Taylor, if you are unsure or feel anything for him now’s the time to tell me” he says softly.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYCmurJMDI
“I love you Matthew” I tell him pulling his arms around my waist. I keep my secrets hidden and locked up in my mind, there is not a chance I will be exorcising those feelings again and so they will stay buried and forbidden.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpYOSRotyyL
“I love you Taylor” he explains and I pull his lips into my own, through tears, that I’ve only brought on myself I kiss him. I kiss Matthew like my life depends on it, and he picks me up leaving the food there to be dealt with some other time when we don’t need to be desperately making up to one another. Practically jogging with me in his arms he takes me upstairs kissing me.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx1JLgQuXMN
“I love you” he whispers as he pulls my nightshirt off.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbwEQdPnJD
“I love you, I’m sorry” I tell him as he pushes inside of me possessively.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFRFpHfuyj
“I need all of you right now” he whispers.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQlL2BnN6uH
“Taylor I need you” he says urgently and I feel him grip onto me again, I wince because of my already bruised wrists but undeterred he carries on.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9halUkyfG
“I need you Matthew” I say breathlessly.
98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxUNCD9DV9u
“I love you and I will make it up to you” I whisper in his ear. He watches me with his green eyes as he finishes and I commit to him fully with my whole soul. Burying all of my feelings and tucking them away tightly so that I do not for one moment tap into them again when I next lay eyes on Jay Gilbert Scott.
