Taylor’s POV
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The words from the journal stick in my head the second I look into Ross’ eyes, after quickly pushing away my embarrassment I eye him before hugging him. So much for physical boundaries I tell myself.
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As I disentangle myself from his embrace, I place the bag on the side and start unpacking. Pulling out his joggers, pants, socks, and placing his snacks on the side where he can reach them. He smiles at me amused.
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"Thanks guys this is perfect" he says watching me as I hand him his keys.
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"You want to change? I can help I won't look I promise" I laugh slightly as Rachel slumps into a recliner by Jay.
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“Thank you” he tells me softly.
Ross moves his legs over the side of the bed, it's not easy for him because of his thigh. He winces in pain and I hold onto his hand.
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"It really fucking hurts still" he says baring weight on his leg and looking at me.
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"I know, but you need to walk little and often to get used to it. You're coming to the gym with me when you're back at uni by the way" I laugh and he snorts. Matthew steadies him from the other side as I walk him over to the en-suite. I'm holding his fresh clothes over my arm. I also brought his body wash.
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“You lucked out having an en-suite” I say and he chortles.
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“You all good” Matthew asks me, I get the feeling he doesn’t want to watch his best mate and I nod. I would do this for any of my friends, including Jay. Ross needs essential help to wash and get dressed, it’s a basic need and I will help him to do that.
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Placing a towel over the rail, I set up the shower and run the water feeling the temperature and checking that the water is just right.
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"I can do my arms" Ross says laughing.
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He pulls his shirt off and I look away. Now is not the time Taylor to remember just how hot your friends are. I help him out of his bottoms kneeling down on the tiled floor.
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"It's okay, I'll try my best taking them off in the shower" he says meaning his Calvin Kleins, which I avoid staring at.
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"Sure, I brought your shower stuff" I tell him looking at his face, and only his face. Behave Taylor, I tell myself.
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"Thanks Taylor. I appreciate it" he says softly, it’s bizarre that the most naked I’ve seen him is in a hospital bathroom under circumstances which are truly tragic. I help him over to the shower and he manages fine from there. I go and stand in the doorway telling him to just stand and wash rather than moving around and tripping in the water.
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“Yes boss” he laughs.
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Standing by the doorway, I face the others, rather than watching Ross wash himself. The shower unit is enclosed behind a wall and is therefore out of eyeshot of the patients room.
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"Don't slip" Jay says smirking.
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"Otherwise I'll have to come and get you" he laughs winking at me.
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"Let me know when you’re done and I'll pass you your towel" I laugh over my shoulder.
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"This is so weird you guys being around when I shower." He calls out over the pounding water.
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Rachel unaffected by the shower situation is going on about something on the TV, Jay is ignoring her watching me instead.
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“I’m going to grab some lunch for everybody.” Matthew announces.
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“Oh hey I’m coming I want to choose this time” Rachel laughs and I smile over at her.
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“I’ll stay in case Ross slips” Jay laughs and I roll my eyes at him, mr southern Viking the rescuer of all of those in distress.
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“Anything you would like darling” Matthew asks me and I smile warmly at him.
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“Please surprise me” I smile and he kisses me briefly before they leave in pursuits of food and goodness knows what else considering Rachel is choosing.
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The atmosphere between myself and Jay has completely and utterly changed since the night of the accident, I find when I’m alone with him now I just relax. He doesn’t talk excessively and never feels the need to fill up silences with small talk, I appreciate that. I stand and stare at him briefly, lounging in the recliner. He assesses my stare, wondering clearly what I’m thinking about, yet neither of us feel the need to talk to one another.
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"Okay I'm clean please can I have my towel, boxers and a shirt" Ross calls over to me breaking my stare.
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"What did your last maid die of" I joke around with him.
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“Very funny” he laughs as I pass them through the shower door and he takes them from me. I keep my eyes looking forward and not at him anywhere in particular.
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"Thanks babe" he says softly and I eye his wet hair. Deciding physical distance is very much necessary for this moment, I back away from the shower and stand against the wall. Not watching him dry. Ross curses several times and I begin to worry.
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“All good” I ask him.
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“Got my shirt on” he says optimistically.
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“Okay chuck the towel over the side” I instruct him.
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“I can’t lift my legs” he explains wrapping the towel around his waist.
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“There’s a seat” I say softly as he steps out and I guide him over to it. Ross takes a seat, his face in pain, tears that he is holding back.
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“No way I will not have that” I say softly as a tear drops from his eyes.
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“Can’t even dress myself” he says softly and without thinking I kneel in front of him and delicately place one leg in each hole of his boxers.
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“Then I’ll do it for you” I tell him reassuring him.
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“Stand up” I instruct him, I pull up the elastics not looking at his manhood, or trying not too. Lord. I blush but he doesn’t see my expression because he’s teary. Luckily.
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Gosh he's a sight, I grab the joggers and repeat the same motion, helping him into them. Pausing at his thigh to inspect it, now that he safely has boxers on.
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"Hey, let me see your injury" I ask him changing tact, anything but the fact that I just put his boxers on for him.
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"They are re-wrapping it later" he says tentatively.
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“You’ll be just fine” I tell him kneeling in front of him. His hair is all wet and I smile at him.
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"Thanks Taylor for everything you have been doing for me, you saved my life. I know that. I owe you fucking bad" he says softly.
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"Anytime" I say back with a grin.
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"I am going to be able to walk properly again aren't I" he asks me out of the blue.
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"Yes, Ross of course you are" I tell him wiping his eyes with my hands.
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"I'm going to make sure of it" I tell him smiling as he gingerly stands up and I pull the elastics of his joggers up.
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"I miss you so much in here" he tells me not even worried about Jay hearing him.
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"Me too babe" I whisper, leading him out of the bathroom. Jay stands up and helps Ross onto the bed.
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Once Ross is settled, I pull the books out of the bag and hand him them.
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"I brought you this one and a few more." I tell him handing him Wuthering heights.
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"You're going to have to let me borrow a book or two though soon" I laugh.
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"Of course" he looks at me in awe after eyeing my choices. I look away and at Jay again who is busy watching our entire encounter. Ross adores me, that much is clear. I care for him more than I should seen as I’m engaged. Those feelings are intensified because of the accident I tell myself.
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"When did you last have pain killers" I ask Ross, he looks a little distracted like he's trying to not feel the pain.
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"Not since like yesterday afternoon" he tells me, I shake my head and pass him two codeines.
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"The pain killers keep the temperature down" I say smiling, brushing his forehead. I continue the motion looking up at Jay who is eyeing me again. It’s possible to care for people and not need to have a sexual relationship with them, Jay clearly believes that isn’t the case. All of his relationships are superficial. My friendship with Ross is a deep one, I care about his wellbeing, I want him to be better.
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"Taylor" Ross says slightly woozily.
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"Ross" I laugh slightly as he blinks slowly.
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"Thanks for being the best woman in the whole fucking world" he chuckles as I stroke his hair back.
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"Shh, have some rest." I advise him, running my hands through his hair which is almost dry.
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"I love you" he whispers as he falls asleep.
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I glance up at Jay. Expecting a barrage of unnecessary comments but instead he’s silent. I take a seat on the other recliner and sit back, quietly.
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"He does love you" Jay says softly.
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"I know that" I admit to him wiping my eyes before closing them entirely and falling asleep myself.
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***
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“You are not supposed to be here” he says to me and I sigh rolling my eyes. His eyes are a dead giveaway, the hunger and need behind them. I’m practically feeding on it, wanting him to gaze at me every chance that he gets.
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“Do you not want me here” I ask him softly looking into his steely blue eyes. The grey shining through today making him appear cool and indifferent.
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“Besides the point” he sighs as I stand before him he lounges in a chair and I smile down at him. A leather chair much like the one by Ross’ fire I think to myself idly. Taking a full three sixty I don’t recognise this place at all, marble floor and sleek furniture. Designer drapes and big arched windows.
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“So you don’t” I tease him and he smiles pulling me into his lap as I chuckle.
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“You’re saying one thing but…” I begin and he shh’s me, his hands travel up my sides and I sigh moving into him. Yielding to his strong hands.
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“What do you want from me, Taylor” he looks up at me, his eyes searching my own.
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“I want you, Jay” I tell him before he possesses me completely
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***
