During the festive season myself and Matthew do all of the things couples are supposed to do; decorating the tree, drinking mulled wine, watching Christmas films and making minced pies.
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The big day finally arrives and before spending it with Matty's family we open our gifts together at home, by the fire. I glance over at him as he pulls open the ties on his gift from me. It's a large package and I just hope he gets some use out of it. Of course I purchased him all of the usual stuff too, like fancy aftershave and boxers. He unravels the paper to reveal a large easel, packaged in a box for self assembly.
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I had visions of him seated on the porch during summer standing before an old fashioned wooden easel. Painting and drawing landscapes whilst sipping coffee.
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"Taylor this is incredible" he whispers opening up the box and beginning to assemble it. I smile pleased that he likes the gift.
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"You're something else" he laughs once he's set it up, wrapping his arms around me in front of the fire he smiles.
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"Your gifts now" he whispers handing me a box that is wrapped up in red paper and bows. I tear at the paper as he watches me and smiles. Undoing the box to reveal a necklace that shimmers under the firelight. He delicately places the necklace over my neck swooping my hair back.
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"It suits you" he smiles and I kiss him, his hands run up my velvet maroon dress and he smiles.
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"Also" he whispers guiding me into our kitchen and placing his hands over my eyes as he walks behind me. He steadies me and giggles as he removes his hands slowly and I look over the oak table by the fire and see a new acoustic guitar standing upright with a sparkling red ribbon wrapped around the neck.
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"Matthew" I gasp and he laughs as I walk over to it and hold it in my arms.
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"Thank you" I whisper to him once I've had a little play on it, appreciating its tone and timbre.
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We spend the day at Matthew's mums, and I try my absolute best not to remember the last time we were sitting at her marble table revealing our pregnancy to them. Kim keeps me entertained the entire day by topping up my glass and sharing fashion ideas with me. Matthew bundles me into his arms on his mom's sofa holding me close until we leave heading back out into the snow.
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Awaiting me on our porch when we arrive home are two packages, Matthew eyes them and scoffs as I take them into our kitchen away from the cold. I open up a packaged first edition Wuthering heights novel from Ross with a handwritten note telling me that I did save his life and so I at least deserved to be on his Christmas card list.
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"I don't even get gifts from my friends!" Matthew laughs and I smile up at him drinking mulled wine by the fire.
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"This is a joint gift" I explain opening the next package from Gilbert Scott. A bottle of fancy champagne accompanied by a note.
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I know how much you both love champagne. Jay x
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I laugh imagining him smile as he sent it and Matthew scoffs. They seem to have an ongoing joke about how Matthew only enjoys wine or brandy and not champagne.
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"Champagne, swanky" Matthew comments focusing on his mulled wine. All the same he pops the cork and pours me a glass.
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As the day draws to a close, and I've had several glasses of champagne. I take a moment to find the small present Jay handed me after the dance show, I dial up his number and speak with him on the phone cross legged on the bedroom floor.
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"Taylor" he says softly as the call connects.
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"I'm opening it now" I whisper whilst Matthew sleeps steadily downstairs on the sofa.
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"Christ, I hope you love them" Jay says drunkenly.
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"Thanks for the champagne too" I say resting back onto the side of the bed.
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"Hey did you wrap this ?" I ask him delicately undoing the bow.
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"No I paid the shop to do it" he giggles.
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Removing the foil paper and revealing a small pale blue box. Feeling the soft velour fabric under my touch, I slowly open the lid. Two delicate hoops appear before me, with round brilliant cut diamonds surrounding them. I notice the Tiffany's logo and gasp instantly. They will hug my ears perfectly, they're not chunky or overly long. They're absolutely what I would pick if I had the money that is.
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"Okay?" He hesitates unable to wait for me to speak.
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"Wow they are" I say eyeing them and how the light shines perfectly onto the diamonds.
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"I can't accept them" I add softly looking at how they are platinum and trying desperately not to focus on how they must have cost upwards of ten thousand dollars.
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"No they're yours" he whispers.
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"They're beautiful" I admit thrown as he pauses and exhales a sigh of relief.
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"I have treated you terribly. And you have been nothing short of wonderful to me" he begins softly, and I wipe my eyes.
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"You have been a learning curve for me, a chance to understand myself better. You have inspired me, dazzled me, angered me even and I have loved you through all of it. You are perfection in a life of imperfection. You deserve them" he explains softly.
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"Thank you, you know your words mean the most to me" I tell him and he clears his throat.
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"Taylor have you had a good day?" He says after a brief pause.
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"Yes Jay, have you" I ask him.
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"Yes, now that I'm speaking to you" he smiles down the phone.
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"What can I get you as a late Christmas present?" I say gazing at my earrings, taken aback. I have never owned anything as precious as this in my entire life, never dreamed that I would.
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"Oh you really walk straight into these all the time" he sighs slightly and I can imagine his grin down the phone.
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"What" I laugh slightly, standing up and placing the earrings on the side before laying down on the bed in my dress.
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"I would like a kiss" he whispers.
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"Just a kiss ?" I say back.
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"Well yeah and for you to be mine" he explains simply as I giggle and I can sense his smile down the phone. We talk for around an hour before he lets me leave telling me that he will see me on New Year's Eve.
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To be his, I ponder putting the earrings away. Imagining a life that isn't mine and getting carried away.
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***
The alchemy lounge is both fancy and a place where you most definitely wear your best diamond earrings. Matthew has eyed them several times, but we haven't discussed Jay any further. It’s become a hot topic for every single argument we have with one another. I don’t blame Matthew, again I am the problem, and even without Jay around he is a huge wedge between us.
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Spotting Ross first when we arrive, I notice that he has had a hair cut. It's not too short but it looks sophisticated and cool. He embraces me, engulfing my body entirely and I squeak slightly as he laughs.
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"I've missed you" he sighs.
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“Serious muscle bulk dude” Matthew laughs approaching us with two glasses of wine.
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“I’ve been lifting again” Ross nods to Matthew and I smile taking my wine, Matthew engages himself in a conversation with Malachi and Ryan briefly rubbing my back before he leaves me. I stand in my black sheer gown at the bar as Ross appraises me.
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“Very nice” he smirks looking down at my floor length gown which is panelled for decency around my bum and boobs. The rest is see through. Matthew gulped when I put it on and I ruffled his hair telling him that it was Kimberley’s, his sisters, idea.
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"Thanks for my present" I say over to him sipping my wine.
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"I got you something back" I admit handing Ross a wrapped up envelope. I watch him as he smiles and opens it up. His eyes wash over the tickets I purchased for him to a dramatisation of Wuthering heights.
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"Who can I take with me ?" He asks smiling.
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"I mean that's up to you Ross" I whisper and he laughs, pushing his blonde hair back and smiling that happy open expression that he wears so well.
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"Can I take you" he rephrases leaning slightly on the bar with a grin over his lips. He slips the tickets into his suit jacket and I smile.
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"I was hoping you would say that" I chuckle, seeing him in a suit is a change. He looks thoroughly smart and sophisticated even if his biceps have practically doubled in size.
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Ross’ eyes flick up looking over my shoulder and I know that Jay is here, I feel him behind me.
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“Taylor” he says softly and I smile as he walks around me to stand between myself and Ross. He brushes his lips on my cheek and I smile.
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Ordering a bottle of champagne from the bar, before he looks at my ears briefly and sees his diamond earrings. A small smile tells me that he is pleased.
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"Nice dress" he smiles before greeting Ross and commenting on his bulk. Guys notice that kind of thing. Ross still isn’t quite as muscular and lean as Jay in his pale blue suit shirt, his sleeves rolled up exposing a few tattoos.
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"Where are you both going then" he smiles leaning on the bar waiting for the champagne as I finish my glass of wine. He tucks his hair back and I try not to stare at him.
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"Taylor booked us tickets to see Wuthering heights" Ross smiles patting his blazer jacket.
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"Oh nice" Jay smirks and I chuckle.
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“It wouldn’t be your kind of thing Jay” Ross laughs and I hold my tongue.
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"Don't worry I got you something too" I say to him stroking his arm once.
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I retrieve a small gift box from my bag and hand it to him, he looks utterly taken back before he opens the charcoal box.
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“Cuff links” he smiles and I nod.
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“I love them” he says briefly hugging me.
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"I also got you this" I tell him passing a small envelope over the bar.
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Rachel beckons Ross over to the dance floor and Jay relaxes back onto a stool next to me. He pulls his sleeves down and places the cuff links in as I smile.
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"I thought cuff links was maybe a bit generic. Even though I saw them and literally thought of you straight away" I chuckle as he watches my eyes before lifting up the envelope.
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"I hope you like it" I whisper as he undoes the flap and pulls out two tickets for an art exhibition.
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"We can go together or you can take your mom” I tell him smiling. He stares at me in shock and I begin to worry feeling as though I’ve overstepped the mark.
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"This is the most special present I’ve ever received Taylor. I’d love to take you with me” he says genuinely.
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“This is literally me just saying thank you, not only for my earrings. But for being there for me all of those times that I was sad or worried about stuff. And for never asking me if I’m okay, but instead for making sure that I was okay” I say laughing slightly and he nods pouring me a glass of champagne.
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"They suit you" he smiles looking at my earrings as we both share a glass of fancy champagne.
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"You have good taste" I tell him and I didn’t think it possible but he practically blushes.
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Once we’ve drunk an entire bottle of Louis Roederer between the two of us, which I have to say tastes absolutely divine. We talk about everything and anything; his time away in Australia, his mom and how he cooked Christmas dinner with her. Inevitably we get dragged away from the bar by Rachel to dance. I realise though that I'm falling, or I have already fallen for him completely and utterly. Like succumbing to the waves and letting him pull me further out to sea over and over again with no intention of swimming back up to the surface or to my reality.
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I gaze at him occasionally speaking to Ryan, Malachi and Matthew. He catches my eyes each time and smiles just briefly, in control and flattered by my attention. I watch him throughout the entire night, as Rachel continually pulls my attention back to owning the dance floor. I watch over him as he heads over to the bar for another round of brandy’s, knocking back female advances from random women. Women who are stereotypically pretty and older than myself, women who would do pretty much anything for his attention. I stare at him as he makes Rhea laugh and has a joke with Malachi. I watch even the smallest gestures and smiles that curve over his lips. I see him roll his eyes and smile with Matthew and Ross.
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All of the things that are sexy and mysterious about him lurk around him and I realise I love it all. But mostly out of all of the things I appreciate about my mr southern, I adore that only I illicit a response from him that no other woman does or ever will. I value the times when he has held me, knowing that I am an exception. I am the woman he wants to share his champagne with and talk to about his mother and his life.
Jays POV
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I stride over to Taylor Elena Harris, on the dance floor and confidently take her in my arms. Honestly having her watch over me all night long, her beautiful eyes taking in every inch of me all night long is enough for me to be sure that she wants me. Should she finally give me a chance I will not blow it. I can show her who I can be for her, now.
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"It's nearly a new year Taylor" I say to her looking down into her eyes with her red lips parted looking up at me.
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"What's your resolution?" She smiles up at me and I hold her closely.
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"To prove to you that I'm worthy of your complete and utter devotion" I say in a whisper.
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"What's yours?" I ask dreaming of looking into her eyes every single morning of my ever after.
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"Be more decisive, seize the moment more" she smirks.
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"Generic I know" she giggles.
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"No I like seizing the moment" I say to her and wink before I spin her. Pulling her back into me I hold onto her waist and sway with her. Rachel is dancing with Matthew thankfully, or more like stumbling all over his feet and so I seized this very moment to be with Taylor. Ross has slow danced with her almost all night long, and quite frankly I don’t know how Matthew has kept his cool. I hold the thin material of her dress as she sways against me.
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When the clock strikes for the new year I smile holding her into me and we just stare into one another’s eyes the entire time. The packed out dance floor surrounds us but nobody means anything to me apart from her, people hug and kiss around us. And so I lean in aiming for her cheek as she quickly positions herself to kiss my lips. Her lips part seductively over mine, like two lovers intertwined we embrace and she gasps slightly into my mouth as I hold her with my hands.
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"Taylor, I love you" I tell her as desire comes over me and I need her again instantly. Gazing down into her eyes as she watches my own.
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"I love you, Jay" she whispers and my world changes instantly. I commit the moment to memory, forever holding her in this moment under the twinkling gold lights. As I enter another year, a fresh new start hopefully with the girl of my dreams.
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“I love you” she whispers in my ear a second time and I want to hold onto her but she disappears into the crowd.
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