Taylor's POV
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Spotlights are warm and being centre of the stage is absolutely an honour and a privilege. I remind myself to be calm, as the song fever begins. Gazing down at my performance chair, I climb into it imagining that the room is empty and that he is sitting on it.
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As I dance over him in my mind, twirling occasionally and flirting with the chair I see his smile and the way he watches me intently. It's only when I face the audience balanced on my chair sexily that I meet his eyes for real. An intense stare that reminds me of all of my dreams. A stare that ignites a passion in me and makes me perform even harder whilst his piercing blue eyes watch me.
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Turning up the sexy even more I extend my leg and it stretches far above my shoulder. Hearing the music close to an end I swish my hair and resume my ending position. I imagine that Jay is the only person in the hall as I curtsy before heading back stage and changing to be the black swan.
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Just as I slip on my black bodice and tutu, Kim appears backstage armed with hairspray and brushes. As I lace up my ballet shoes she congratulates me on the first piece, before pinning my hair back and creating the perfect ballerina bun. Fastening a black masquerade mask to my face and securing it with a ribbon she smiles at me.
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"You look ethereally beautiful" she says softly before slipping back into the performance hall. Looking into the mirror, admiring my black sequined mask I smile slightly before going up onto pointe. Slowly extending one leg and holding the arabesque. This is a technical piece most likely the most informed technical dance I will ever perform. So I warm up my feet accordingly, I stretch out my hamstrings and perform a few plies.
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Then I hear the music haunt through me, the notes that any ballerina knows and wishes to be a part of. One last glance at myself in the mirror savouring the privilege of playing the role of my dreams before I slip into the stage area awaiting my entrance to the piece.
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The adrenalin hits me as I watch on, the white swans perform perfectly. My dance partner, Mason Holder a second year, queues me in with his eyes and I count down from ten before the lights change to signify my appearance. The main event, as Mason’s costume changes from white to black he pirouettes and truly it looks magnificent and magical as I enter stage. Thinking only about my feet and arms, how they must be perfectly placed. Focusing on holding my core tight for stability as I stop before him arching my back and standing on pointe in arabesque. The white swans disperse into the depths of darkness away from the spotlight. I pull my leg higher and breathe, my body can take this I tell myself.
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Oddly, as I hold and extend the position I think of all of the times I have practiced this very move. From the first time when I was maybe seven or eight years old and didn't have the ankle or core strength to hold myself. To now just before coming on stage to be the main event in a ballet performance. Before checking my technique, I look up at my mother in the crowd and see the happy tears in her eyes as she sits next to Matthew. I think about all of the failed attempts before pirouetting on pointe an impressive ten times, the audience gasp when my dance partner lifts me up and I hold my extensions in mid air under the glistening spot light.
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The black swan enchants and I hope that I have fulfilled that role appropriately. Finally after a full foot workout whereby my ankles are at their most worn in my entire life, I wrap up the dance with my dance partner. We glide around one another, he lifts and supports me and I try my absolute best to do it all beautifully. His eye contact before the final finish asks me if I'm ready to be flung in the air, the adrenaline courses through my veins as I give him a nod.
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Before I feel his grip on my waist I propel myself up and spin several times, three full revelations, more than in any practice that I have accomplished. Landing it perfectly with his assistance I remain on pointe; feeling like an ethereal being who enchanted the audience as they gasp impressed. We receive a standing ovation from the crowd as we formally curtesy.
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Before leaving me to take in a the standing ovation he whispers that it was an immaculate performance and exits stage right. My role is the main lead and so as the prima ballerina I accept the applaud before exiting stage left.
The lights dim and I exit the stage, as I open the backstage door and breathe steadily telling myself to calm my adrenaline and stretch. The door opens to my right and I smile looking up at Matthew, he holds me for a few minutes before I stare up at him taking in the wonder in his eyes.
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"Can you help me take my hair down" I ask him.
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"Of course" he whispers, unwrapping my hair as it trails down my back. Working his fingertips through the curls, I feel his steady breathing and regulate myself to him.
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"That was incredible" he explains as I turn to face him again and he admires me.
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"I think it went well" I tell him softly.
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"Well?" he scoffs laughing slightly his arms wrapping around my waist as I close my eyes remembering how it felt when he used to hold me there. All of those times whereby I had been holding our babies securely in our womb and he had adored me for it.
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"Taylor, I love you" he says and I rest my head on his chest, inhale and breathe out a slow sigh of relief. Running my hands down his back, wrapping them around his waist.
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"I love you" I tell him as he smiles guiding me over to the studio doors and out to the foyer where the audience are waiting.
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The usual expansive hall has been decked out with seating, plush chairs and velvet sofas. The snack bar transformed into its own fully equipped alcoholic bar and I watch as Jay stands over it. Our eyes lock as I watch him in his dark navy suit before my mother embraces me fully with tears in her eyes.
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“I’m so very proud of you” she whispers holding onto me and I wipe my eyes. Matthew’s hand rubbing my back slightly.
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“It was a sensational performance, the black swan. She always wanted to be the black swan” she explains to Matthew and Linda, Matthew’s mother. Kim nods smiling down at me. I notice Kraig next to her, clad in a band T-shirt with his hair perfectly messed up. Tattoos lining his forearm as he stands next to Kim who is dressed like a a 1960s housewife, they’re an odd match but an item all the same.
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Matthews mum engages me in conversation as I am surrounded by our respective families, my mother has always assumed all familial roles within my life. She has been my sole parent, I have no siblings and everybody else either left or died. Matthew’s family is so complete and full in comparison to my own. I glance at Jay just over Linda’s shoulder and he smiles at me. I blush and look away from him, embarrassed for having been caught searching for him.
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Matthew keeps me close, his hand on my back as we talk to our families, I engage Kraig in a conversation regarding music and shows before taking a glass of champagne and sipping it slowly. No more crazy drunk Taylor that throws herself at all of the boys I remind myself.
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“Matthew I need to borrow you temporarily, wedding chat” Kim explains and he nods. Linda and Steve are engaged to be married next year, we would have been able to take the twins to the wedding had I of not lost them. He kisses me appraising my small frown curiously before I filter through the crowd in search of Rachel and my cohort of friends.
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Locating Jay ahead of me and alone, I walk over to him. His eyes drink in my body as I approach him and I feel like the sole and only person in the room.
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"You were sensational" he says as I stand next to him at the bar.
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"Thank you, and no broken legs" I laugh slightly as a grin spreads across his lips. Turning to face the bar and away from all of the many sets of eyes in the foyer I climb up on the stool, crossing my legs and sipping my champagne. He follows suit and I glance over at him realising that we are both similar in our lack of interest in large crowds of people, small talk and mingling.
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He pauses for a minute glancing up at the many bottles of fancy wine and Prosecco and then sighs watching my eyes with a smile playing on his lips.
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"What are you doing to me?" He asks me searching my eyes.
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"Look I'm not trying" I smirk and he scoffs.
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"Lord. I'd hate to see you trying to get with me" he laughs.
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“You have” I remind him, I had thrown myself at him in his car when myself and Matthew had been suffering together. It was hugely inappropriate, and unfair on everybody.
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“You had no problem saying no” I smile over at him and he watches me curiously.
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Just as he’s about to speak Rachel interjects, obliviously bombarding our personal space and slurring over some champagne. I feel hands on my back and turn to hug Ross.
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"Super talented Tay, that was awesome." Rach laughs as I face her again.
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"Yeah that part when your leg was near your head, wow" Brad chuckles and I smile slightly, eyeing Jay just once. I’ve no idea when I’ll see him again and my eyes need to take in every single part of his tan skin, his azure blue eyes and smooth blonde locks.
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"I loved the first outfit" Rach smiles over at me.
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"I knew you would" I giggle and compliment her on the pink dress that she has put on for the night. It’s off the shoulder and she appears to have opted for the pin up girl style with her curls.
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"I forgot what I was wearing I was so focused on not falling on my face" I add laughing.
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"You looked stunning, please. You’re mad talented" she smiles.
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"Luckily you have legs for days" she smirks and I look up at Jay again. It’s shameless, the amount of times we both just stare at one another. I tell myself that the Christmas break will give me some time to be away from him, to forget about the chemistry between us. In January we will resume our friendship whereby we annoy and aggravate each other, him teasing me about my many boyfriends and I will be able to ignore him again. And the way his eyes set me alight, watching him now I stare at his hands briefly as he looks down my legs.
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"Thanks for coming, I really appreciate it" I say breaking my trance and standing up off of the stool leaning back onto the bar, Jay stands next to me facing the others. I inhale sharply as I feel his hand on my lower back where nobody can see him.
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We all cheers our glasses, Jay holds onto me, his hand possessively holding my back even as Matthew joins our group standing opposite me speaking with Ross. Focusing on Rachel’s conversation about her and Brad as I feel Jays hand inconspicuously stroke down the small of my back, his fingertip brushing my hip just once before he rests his hand on my butt.
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After a few more anecdotes from Rachel I excuse myself telling Matthew that I’m freshening up before we leave he nods and explains that he will call a cab. I find my way towards the changing rooms, I catch looks from fellow dancers and smile at them as I waltz around with my champagne.
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Trying to erase the feelings I have for Jay and his wandering hands as I pace around heading for the ladies. His hand catches mine before I head in and I giggle slightly, the champagne going straight to my head. Standing flat against the wall as he holds onto my hand in the small corridor, the sounds of chatter and music surrounding us as he practically pins me against the wall with his stare.
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“That was totally naughty” I whisper and he laughs slightly.
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“Did you like me touching you, in front of your fiancé and all of your friends” he whispers back, I giggle and he watches me biting his own lip.
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“I wanted to give you something” he whispers holding onto my eyes with his own.
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"Have a lovely Christmas, Taylor" Jay whispers his hands rubbing up my arms before he pulls out a small box wrapped in foiled paper with a small black bow.
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"But I didn't think we were all doing gifts" I say protesting as he smiles his lips just inches from my own.
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"Thank you" I whisper taking the small box in my hands.
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“What do I get you for Christmas Jay?” I smirk and he chuckles.
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"When you open them on Christmas Day, give me a call as a present I would love that" he smiles brushing my hair back off of my shoulders.
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"I will" I say wrapping my arms around his shoulders, he sighs and breathes into me.
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“I can’t believe I won’t see you hardly for two weeks” he whispers.
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“Where are you spending the holidays” I say to him.
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“With my mum, in Australia and then back here in the states” he explains and I nod.
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“I wish I could take you with me” he says softly, my mind briefly imagines walking around with him for two weeks, eating in Australia and wearing a bikini on Christmas Day. I giggle and he watches me curiously.
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“What” he smirks fascinated by my laughing.
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“I’m imagining you in speedos on Christmas Day” I say and he full on laughs.
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“Is that an; I would like to spend Christmas with you Jay just to see you in speedos” he teases me.
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“I don’t wear speedos” he laughs and I watch his lips.
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“You on a private beach on Christmas Day however” he smiles down at me.
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“That’s something I would make an exception for” he says softly.
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"Happy Christmas, Jay" I whisper in his ear before breaking away from his stare and extricating my body from his own before I kiss him. Before I dream all about holding his hands on private beaches and opening presents with him on Christmas Day. Spending time with his mom and travelling together.
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We walk back through the crowds and I feel his hand hold onto me as he follows me. Placing my gift in my bag, Ross eyes me before I approach him, his eyes flick up to Jay wondering what we’ve been up to as Rachel throws herself at Brad.
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"I'll see you after Christmas" I say to Ross hugging him briefly.
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"Of course" he says before trapping me in his bear hug.
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"Parties don't stop for Christmas Tay, this is literally the party season" Rachel smiles over at me and I sigh.
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"Christmas Eve, at Ryan's epic" she explains and I’m pretty much one hundred percent positive I will not be spending my Christmas Eve at that party.
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"New year’s eve is better” Jay adds and I look up at him standing slightly behind me.
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“We always end up at alchemy lounge” Rachel explains eyeing him.
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“Alchemy what?” I say innocently.
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“It’s a very fancy bar, that has overpriced drinks on New Year’s Eve” Ross explains laughing slightly.
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“Champagne bar” Jay adds and I feel his hands again before Matthew appears heading through the crowd.
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“I’m up for that one” I laugh as Matthew beckons me and I practically fall into him.
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“Alchemy lounge I’m guessing” he says eyeing Jay just briefly.
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“Matthew just loves fancy champagne” Jay laughs slightly and Matthew scoffs at him.
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“We’ll be there” Matthew explains, emphasising the we just a little bit too much.
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Deciding that before an argument we should most probably leave, I hug everybody far too many times, as Matthew smiles and takes me home with him.
