Jay's POV
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Taylor allowed Rachel to pick the film so we're watching some dumb chick flick. Where all of the men are nice and handsome. The woman cry a lot in all circumstances and I sit here sighing watching the terrible acting.
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Taylor glances over at me just briefly, she's between Matthew and Ross. She's changed the way she looks at me. She stares a little bit longer and when she smiles it's genuine. Matthew also knows about one of our kisses; and I can imagine it's eating him up. He is concealing his anger well; yet still I can see the breaks in his usual composure.
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She glances at me again in the darkness and I imagine pulling her dress off and making a mess of that red lipstick on her lips. Her hair flowing down her back, as she sweeps her eyes over me before returning to the screen.
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"Jay I need to get past" Rach announces and I sigh slightly as she breaks my train of thought. Standing up so that she can move past me, I can only imagine that she feels ill as she sways down the aisle.
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"Fucks sake" Brad follows her sighing. I laugh openly, thinking better him than me.
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Sliding up two seats, I sit in next to Ross, boyfriend number two. Glancing up at the film realising that we must be over half way through the boredom torture. Taylor leans forward and whispers into Ross’ ear. He nods and I presume she was asking about Rachel. They are quickly becoming friends, unexpected considering Rachel is a drunk and Taylor is the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met.
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Glancing down just quickly at her thighs, I remember her throwing herself at me in my car the other night. Her lips and hands everywhere, her hips moving into me. It would have been too easy to take her yet I cannot let her have just parts of me without a more solid idea of where I stand in this love triangle. It appears that she’s also going through a whole host of issues and that’s another factor in me saying no. It wouldn’t be fair to take advantage of a woman who is experiencing a rough time after all.
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Before I know it the credits to the film are rolling, I look over at Matthew who is placing her coat over her shoulders as we all stand to leave. Neither Brad or Rach have returned. Everybody freshens up in the restrooms before leaving and I meet them all in the foyer. The deep blue carpeted steps lead down to a traditional looking foyer with a popcorn seller and bar. Pulling my phone out briefly as I descend the steps to stand with the others, I align myself with Ross, he’s the only other single bachelor here. I stand with him and he nods to me.
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“Rachel okay ?” I ask him and he looks at me confused briefly.
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“Brads already left with her” he comments and I look over his shoulder at Taylor in Matthew’s arms. The sting I feel watching them together alarms me and I decide it would be better to leave now. Malachi strides through the foyer with Rhea towards the doors and I turn to Ross and begin walking.
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"Jay wanna share a cab?" Ross asks as we walk through the double gilded doors.
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"I can do better, I'll give you a ride" I tell him lighting up a cigarette. It’s unusual for me to smoke; with training and weight lifting it’s not the best idea. Yet undeniably some situations I find are made better by a smoke. Leaving a cinema with two couples after a night out in an attempt to cheer up a girl who you are absolutely in love with and of whom is not even yours is a situation for a smoke.
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"Thanks man, I thought we'd all be drinking more" Ross laughs, briefly watching over Taylor. If Ross didn’t like Taylor too, we would get along. He’s a decent guy, he too knows what it’s like to be well off and feel the alienation of your own situation. Granted he’s not quite as well off as me.
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We smoke on the way to my parked Audi and we’re relatively quiet he doesn’t feel the need to fill up our silences with chatter.
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Matthew ushers Taylor into his 4x4 and as I set off I try to work out what Matthew James Henderson has that I cannot possibly compete with for her affections. He adores her, he treats her nicely my brain tells me as we pass a fast food chain and Ross asks that we stop off for the drive thru.
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Whilst I order Ross’ burger and damn milkshake I wish she were next to me. I ponder how I’ve shown her from day one that I’m the guy that nice girls don’t get in a relationship with. Honestly I haven't given her any reason to think that I'm the kind of guy to have a relationship with. I've hurt two girls in front of her, by breaking up with them and messing them around. That's not a good impression to make. She termed whatever it is that we have together as an affair, I’ve become her little secret.
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We pull up at Ross’ and he invites me in for a spiff, clutching onto the fast food in his spare hand.
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"You can stay man if you like, and don't wanna drive high" he explains and I nod parking up in his drive.
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What a dude, I almost laugh watching Ross open up his front door as I apply my handbrake. Remembering when Matthew and I had a friendship such as this one. Where we looked out for one another, shared everything we had. Now he doesn’t even want to talk to me, and in some ways I get it.
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"Thanks man" I say as he rolls up on his coffee table and sticks the flatscreen on. We watch highlights from the game and eat fast food. Look at us I think idly, the pity party of guys that want to be with Taylor but can't.
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Taylor's POV
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In my hazy, tipsy state we bundle out of the 4x4 and I pull him into me, guiding me up to the porch and opening the door. Matthew is still high and after a couple of brandy’s it’s allowed him to lose himself. I decide that I need to make everything up to him. I pull his leather jacket off and giggle as we get in the door, I have a feeling that right now sex would result in another argument. But I’ll throw my all at him no matter what.
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Biting my lip and unfastening the buttons to his shirt I sigh wanting his hands on me. Pulling him up the stairs he slaps my but and o savour his touch. I stumble through the halls pulling him into me.
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"Mm Taylor." he begins as I slip my hands under his shirt and remove it fully.
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“We need to slow down” he murmurs and I sigh, my lips finding his neck. We slow down anymore and then we’ll be dead I think to myself laughing slightly.
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"Shhh" I tell him kissing down his body as he sighs.
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"Ohh" he smiles realising my intentions finally.
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My mouth surrounds him and he gasps fully. I realise just how much I’ve missed having any kind of effect on him. How I’ve missed being close to him intimately. I wrap my arms around his hips and pull him into me and he moans.
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"I'm sorry Matty, for earlier. forgive me?" I whisper to him. He strokes my hair back with his fingertips, his hands tracing down to my lips. His finger grazes them and obscenely I think of Jay. He pops into my head and I protest pulling back slightly as Matthew pulls me back in. I tell myself fervently that he only entered my brain because he always touches my lips and I associate the gesture with him.
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"Baby I'm close" he sighs and I look up at him, missing the expression he wears when he’s totally charmed by me.
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“I love you, I’m sorry” I say to him and he sighs.
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“I love you Taylor” he gasps and I smile slightly as he scoops me up from the bedroom floor. Matthew carries me into the bathroom setting me down before switching on the shower. Matthew undresses me slowly, his hands gliding over my dress and placing it on the hook before he holds me under the stream of the water.
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"I can't wait to see your exhibition tomorrow" I say to him looking up and into his eyes.
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"I can't wait until you see your picture" he smiles down at me.
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“I care so much about you Matthew” I tell him as he sweeps my wet hair back and kisses my forehead.
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“I don’t want to lose you” I whisper and he holds me closer.
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“I don’t want you to lose yourself either” I say into his chest. Increasingly seeing him sober, truly sober, is a rare occurrence.
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“I’m so sorry Taylor for everything” he whispers and I grasp onto his back feeling the water stream down his soft skin.
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“You are my world” he whispers before closing his lips over mine.
