Ross' POV
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Taylor Elena Harris, having pulled out a paperback from the book case, is leaning into me reading. And in all honesty this is exactly how I saw us, should we ever be an item there would be a lot of coffee shops and book shops. A lot of love and trust. And actually I understand that she wanted to push me out of the equation, if I was in love with two people, I never have been but I can see how that would make life easier. It would make it easier for her to just decide. I'm not just going down without a fight though, or without trying.
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And I won't just replace her, I'm not like that.
I've got to keep our relationship going, in whatever form it takes. I've got to keep myself in her life. And it is paramount that I keep a good balance between showing her my feelings through my actions and also that I can be a dependable friend. That's natural for me. I will always be her friend.
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I watch as her hair cascades down her back and string together a few words in my head, scribbling them down in my notebook. She eyes me curiously and I smile at her closing the leather ties on the book.
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"Ross what have you written down for the first question on social interaction" she asks assuming that I am doing college work instead of writing about her. I genuinely don't know what she would say if she realised I’ve been writing about her, poems and sonnets mainly. Scribblings here and there of things she may evoke in me. I imagine a smile would fall over her lips and she would demand to read them all.
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"I haven't started that yet" I tell her smirking, I've been busy writing tortured poetry about her after all. By my fire in my house, every night with a bottle of red.
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"You're a slacker." She teases touching my arm, any physical contact with her makes me happy.
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"All the partying right?" she laughs, and how wrong she is.
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"I just leave things to the last minute" I say softly.
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"But if you're going to a party I'll be there" I say looking at her. Ross I tell myself, stop looking at her, she's captivating. She must know that.
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She leans forward eating some chocolate cake and her long hair tumbles around her shoulders. Would she let me put my hands on her back? I'm not sure. Do friends do that? Do friends want their friends this much?
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"Did you enjoy the runway" I ask her as she settles back into my chest, my arm around her.
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"I did, yeah it was nice to look nice for once. It felt very special." she says softly and I stroke her hair.
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"Did you?" She asks inquisitively. I can only imagine that she’s fishing to see where I went after, and who I went home with. Mysteriously even though we are not together I have no problem with her asking, I find I want to prove myself to her.
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“It was great. You were great, very confident by the way and of course stunning" I say softly first, she stole the show.
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I pull my hands through my hair. It's a little frustrating how close I could be to moving in on her but I can't. Not yet, especially not today when she's willing to be here with me.
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“I left about three, then I went home on my own contrary to popular belief" I tell her looking away, Gilbert Scott has been striving to pull me down.
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"Jay got with Rachel" I say I can't help myself, two can play that game.
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"He is into her ? Or do you think he just plays with her” she asks me. I know that she cares about Rachel. Like myself Taylor notices when somebody is vulnerable.
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“He goes through girls, he has been off and on with Rach for I don't know how long. I hate what he does to her, makes me so angry how he treats her" I explain.
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Pulling my phone out of my jeans, I send a message to Rachel real quick asking if she's okay.
"That's nice of you" Taylor says observantly and I smile down at her.
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"She's my friend. You'd do the same" I explain putting my phone away and eyeing her, stroking her hair again.
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"Don't mention it, but Jay propositioned me for sex. One time only nobody has to know kind of thing." She whispers looking up at me. Mr one night only. It clicks. What a lemon he is. He’s been watching her like a hawk, passing her notes in lectures. Flirting with her continually, he needs to be watched. The man is a mess.
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"Your hair looks great today by the way" she says absentmindedly as I worry about Jay and the potential of him working his way into her life.
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I smile at her holding her eye contact. Oh to be able to just kiss her. She's maintaining my eye contact, and normally I would lean in, place my hand behind her head and twist her hair in my fingers. Slowly meeting my lips to hers, my hand would go down her neck and then down her back. And I would deepen the kiss.
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I realise that we are just staring at each other as I look away from her lips and into her eyes. She lifts her hand slowly and places it in my hair moving it back off of my face. Staring at me a little longer, thinking about something, her hands playing with my hair.
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"You want to leave?" she asks looking away from me as I realise I’ve gone completely stiff. I gently move her face to mine again and brush her lips with my own. It’s impulsive and I pull away quickly just in case she hits me. There I did it. She just stares at me, her cheeks go a glorious shade of pink.
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She starts to speak but I tell her not to overthink any of this. Maybe that's a little bad of me. But hey he nicked her from me first. She stands up in front of me, facing me. I lean back into the sofa and eye her up. Her little cropped jumper and skirt suit her.
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"Don't smile at me like that" she teases.
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"I'm sorry I literally can't help it" I tell her, watching for her reaction.
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"I ugh need to ask you one thing before you leave and I don't get to see you until university" I ask her.
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"Please just sit down with me for a minute more" I ask her holding onto her hands and pulling her lightly to sit in my lap. I give her my best charming smile.
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"Okay. Don't hit me ? Yeah?" I warn and she snorts looking into my eyes.
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"That's not a good start Ross" she smiles up at me.
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I push my hair away from my face again.
"I just always wonder if you would have chosen the same way if I'd have done things differently. If I'd have told you stuff, if I'd have been more insistent. Like I need to know because I think about it all the time. And really by telling me you can help me learn from it all" I implore her.
She goes rigid. And I stop touching her. Too soon, way too soon. She's going to bolt now.
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"How can I tell you that ? How can I even know. None of this was your fault Ross, like you didn't do anything wrong." She says and a tear escapes her eyes.
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"No don't cry I didn't mean to make you cry." I say quickly and I wipe her eyes.
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"That's not something we can really know, I've thought about it myself. Like if you'd been able to show me and tell me at your house at that party maybe things would be different. Maybe things would have changed for us and we wouldn't be here not being able to tell each other how we feel about each other" she says and I can feel my eyes watering.
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"I know you think you have chosen already, but how do you feel about me?" I ask her tentatively.
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"You know how I feel about you Ross" she says but I don't, I just don't know and I need to hear it.
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"If I tell you again what does that change?" She says glancing at me. She sees my tears and raises her hands to my face to wipe them away.
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"Everything, it changes everything" I tell her.
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She waits not saying anything.
I interject, I realise now how difficult this is going to be. It's worth it, totally 100 percent but it's going to take time. And I hate to admit it but I think he's constantly several steps ahead of me, keeping her with him.
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"I'm sorry. Ignore me it's all good." I say softly.
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My phone goes off it's Rachel. I leave it, I will check it later. Taylor sighs standing up in front of me and my eyes drink her in again.I walk behind her out of the coffee shop, the waitress looks at me. But I'm staring at Tay, the lines of her back and how her hips always sway when she walks.
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