Ross’ POV
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The snow has settled nicely, leaving a blanket all over the pavements, I guide her and she pulls me close, into her from the cold.
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“Don’t worry about any of that stuff” I say softly in her ear. The snow collecting in her curly hair as we trudge through to the car park. Taylor’s phone bleeps and she pulls it out placing it to her ear, she answers it.
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"Yeah I'll be careful, I'll drive at like ten?" She says, Matthew is talking to her down the phone. I recognise the low register of his voice as she nods along.
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"Just will take longer. Okay fifteen then. But I'll do that. See you soon, want anything?" She asks him softly.
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"Okay love you" she says and God I'm so jealous.
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"Sure you're going to be okay?" I ask looking down at her, staring into her eyes once’s she’s hung up. She pulls me into the car park and I walk along with her. Not wanting to let her go and playing out scenarios where I get to take her home with me, where we cuddle up by my fire.
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Once I spot Matthews 4x4 I'm reassured, she will have no problem with those tyres. Taylor holds me for a long time, she hasn’t left my embrace since the coffee shop. I place my arms around her waist as she buries her head in my neck and I can feel her tears. I just hold onto her losing myself when she's this close to me. My hands massage her back and I want to feel her skin.
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"Shh Tay, it's okay we're still friends" I whisper. Lord I wish I could show her just how much I love her.
"Sorry it's my fault I shouldn't have said any of that" I tell her.
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She lifts her head slightly, regarding me with tears in her eyes.
"I can't do any of this anymore" she says overwrought. My heart plummets, I'm sinking.
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"I promise you it's all good" I say softly, desperately.
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"Look I won't even mention it again. We can just go back to normal" I tell her, stroking her face and pleading her to keep me. It sounds very much like she's telling me goodbye. I can't cry I've got to play it down.
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She's just quietly holding onto me. Her hands move from my neck down my back, as she kisses my neck lightly. And I'm just confused. I want her physically, emotionally and in all the ways you can be tied to a woman. She's giving me crazy mixed messages. Slow kisses on my neck that burn through me.
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"I should go" she whispers. You don't want to leave me, I need to take you home I think to myself feeling her breath on my neck.
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"Okay." I tell her softly, emotions swirling inside of me. Wanting to pull her in, desperately confused about her kissing me so intimately.
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"It will all be fine" I tell her my thumb going up and down her back.
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"I'm sorry that I can't be the right person for you right now" she tells me softly.
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“Shhh” I say feeling completely consumed by her.
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"I love you" I tell her. And I am sure her body pulls me in tighter. I'm not imagining it. I pull her into me feeling her body on mine. So close, I'm breathing in the sweet scent of her hair. My hands on her back holding her, I kiss her forehead. Time to let her leave. I always feel like protesting and asking her to stay with me. But I know that will do no good.
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"Now don't be a lemon and crash Matty's car on the way home. And more importantly make sure you are safe" I tell her. I brush her face with my hand, tucking her hair back.
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"I won't crash and I'll text you when I'm back" she tells me. After giving me one last hug, laying one soft kiss on my neck, she gets in the car and drives away. And I'm left staring after her. There is a whole lot to unpack from that afternoon, from the physical connection that we undeniably have to every single word she said.
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The lack of her hands around me is all I can think about as I walk over to my bike, place my helmet on and start up. Adopting a slower pace than normal due to the uneven surface of the roads. Whenever I see her it just resurfaces how I feel about her. Taylor never leaves me completely, she sticks around in the back of my mind. Her lips kissing my neck softly, intensifies my need for her.
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Taylor is growing up before my very eyes, from the way her hair has grown out to the sophistication of her stare. The little skirts she wears, falling from her hips. The observations she has on the world around her, and how I yearn to just sit and talk to her for hours.
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Taking a quick glance at my phone as Rachel is ringing me, bloody Jay I think to myself. Mr one night only promising all of the girls different things and not following through with any one of them. And then there’s me desperately trying to hold everything together for everybody else, and he just goes about doing as he pleases no thought about the outcome. Good dependable Ross will fix it for everybody.
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I pocket my phone in my leathers and focus on the bumpy snow. My tyres can handle this I tell myself as the bike buckles just a touch. The blizzard ahead of me clouding up my bike helmet, I wipe the visor and concentrate. Deep breath, remain cool, I can get myself home. Taylors voice in my ear, telling me how much she cares for me. Her soft voice repeating in my head, over and over.
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Frustrated with my bike I turn onto a smaller un-gritted road. A back road without houses, single track lined with trees and forests either side. Not even a hint of the usual green leaves in sight as the trees have been utterly covered in snow. Huge icicles forming from their branches, glistening and distracting me from my drive. Keeping my pace slow for a few hundred yards, I consider wheeling the bike along but I’m still quite far from home. The light is not doing me any favours, although it’s not exceptionally late the natural light has all but gone.
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Under the usual roar of my bike the woods are still and calm, peaceful almost. The snow falling heavily, I pull my visor up attempting to wipe the collecting snow off. A small deer branches out tentatively into the road, before darting across the entire path quickly. Caught off guard by my bike, and the unnatural roar of its engine, the deer scurries off into the opposite trees.
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Hearing my phone go off again, and growing increasingly anxious at not being able to deal with whoever it is interrupting my snowy motorbike mission, I do the opposite of what I should do and speed up. My bike roars at me, complaining about the snow and the ice underneath it. I push along just needing to get to the end of this little road. The highway may have been a better option, perhaps it’s been gritted, I doubt myself.
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My bike is buckling again and I notice a slight crunching noise, attempting to slow it down just a touch as I must have hit something on the ground or perhaps it's ice I think to myself. Either way my back wheel is spinning out. I briefly thank myself for travelling on a quiet road as there are no incoming vehicles to collide with. I brake hard, panicking, just hoping I can keep the bike upright. Instead it spins out of control. Maybe I should have been gentler on the brakes I briefly wonder. Slow and steady would have done the trick and I would not be falling off of my bike towards the forest. Covered by the trees, I hear a massive whack as my bike collides with the ground. Just watching helplessly as it sprawls out before me the engine cutting out. A massive thud reverberates through me as I hit the trees.
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Thankful for my helmet taking most of the impact, I glance up into the greyish blue sky blinking looking up at the snow falling over me. I should try and reach for my phone and call somebody for help but I can't process what my brain is telling me quick enough in order to act upon it. Before I know it the white snow disappears and I black out.
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