Jays POV
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Taylor Gilbert Scott sounds perfect to me, and I almost slap myself across the face watching her sitting across from me in the gym. What's happening to me I wonder, this girl should not be different to all of the others, yet she is.
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"When I was with Rachel" I begin frustrated.
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"Everything she would do I used to think Taylor wouldn't do that. Or she'd say something and I'd catch myself thinking about what you would say with your smart mouth" I look at her in her eyes.
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This is important, probably the most important interaction we will ever have. This is where Taylor will decide whether to entertain any relationship with me or not, I try to extend my hand to hers. I need this chance. If I don't get it then that's it.
She laces her fingers in mine. Her hands are soft and small and I love them instantly because they are hers.
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"I'm a dickhead, I know that why would you give me a chance at all? Right. I haven't experienced this before. I'm not Ross okay, I don't fall for girls. But I don't stop thinking about you at all ever. You take up my head space most of the time. When I sleep I dream about you Taylor" I tell her earnestly.
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"That's nuts. But it is something I need to do something about. I need to just know either way if you want to entertain giving me a chance or if you just want to leave it be" I explain.
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Holding onto her hand, I lightly brush it with my thumb. She's looking at the floor. I count in my head, otherwise I will interrupt and start speaking and she will push me out. I go past ten, past fifteen.
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I'm nearly at twenty when she looks up.
"Jay" she begins and I know that it's over I can tell from her voice. From the way she looks at me smiling already trying to reassure me. Bizarrely my mere reputation is enough to put her off of me, I have this odd moment of regret for every single mistake I’ve made in the light of her eyes. Had I of just not been a dickhead my entire life; perhaps girls like Taylor would give me a chance.
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"I care about you but” she says and I notice the blue in her eyes, deeper than mine.
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"Please don't tell me the but" I say quickly changing tact. Once she tells me no then it becomes final, she says it to me then it's done. End of forever.
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I swiftly close the gap in between us and daringly I kiss her. I put everything into it. Letting go of her hand and putting my arms around her waist. She gasps with the intensity of my kiss.
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"Mmm fuck" I say before I can stop myself as she breathes in and my lips crash into hers again. She leans back and I’m so close to her, I remind myself to check in with her and realise that she’s in two minds. Pulling away from her I watch her eyes and apologise.
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"You never let me speak" she laughs.
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"No because you will talk yourself out of everything" I laugh blushing slightly before looking at her.
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Helping her up, we stand and I want to touch her and hold her but I need to wait. As we walk out I reach my hand behind to her and she grasps it with her small delicate fingers. I smile, it’s not something I’ve done with anybody before. I’m not even sure where it came from but I love her holding onto me.
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Having the coldest shower in the changing rooms wakes me up, and calms me down. I come out smelling of my tom ford body wash and dress in a clean light blue shirt and Levi’s. Leaving my hair as it is I grab my bags and decide to wait for her outside of the ladies changing rooms. It would be weird to just walk away wouldn’t it? I laugh to myself feeling slightly giddy just at the prospect of seeing her again.
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Taylor appears minutes later, hair down and blow dried, her cheeks flushed red. And makeup free she’s looks absolutely stunningly beautiful. I smile at her and start walking, she walks in step with me.
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"Oh wait I just need to check in with my dance teacher" she says looking up at me before walking into the studio to our left propping her foot open with the door, I hold it smiling to myself and waiting in the doorway.
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"Taylor! How are you" her teacher asks looking up from her desk as Taylor deserts the door and strides into the studio, like she owns it.
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"I'm feeling better, I just wanted to check in on what I've missed?" She asks nicely.
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"Well I'm happy to tell you that you have the main part in our half term dance showcase. You have a ballet routine, contemporary solo and also a burlesque number" she explains standing to greet her. I know exactly what that means and I will be there to watch her perform.
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"So tomorrow, pointe shoes and tights" her dance teacher instructs, nodding to her as she congratulates her on receiving the lead part.
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"Wow thank you" Taylor says smiling. Her hips swaying in the mini skirt that she’s put on as she approaches me a huge grin on her face. I walk out with her smirking just imagining her dancing a burlesque number. As if she doesn’t get enough male attention as it is.
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"What now. I can literally hear your thoughts without you speaking them and I know you're laughing at me" she says and I can't help but to chuckle as she grabs my arm and holds it.
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"Okay, I'll be at the dance show, a burlesque number, wow" I say softly eyeing her on my arm and rather liking the idea of keeping her there.
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"Dickhead" she laughs gazing up at me.
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"You in tights and a leotard!? How can I miss that" I say as she holds onto me.
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"You know I'm being assessed right, on how I move not how I look" she laughs and since she hasn’t removed herself from me I place my arm around her shoulders, she’s adorable when she gets defensive.
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"I'm kidding" I chuckle.
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"You're such an arse" she says with a hint of a smile on her lips which she suppresses.
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"I'll see you in psychology tomorrow. I have a date now with Rhea" she laughs looking up at me before turning to leave me, I catch her hand as she goes to walk off.
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"I'll see you tomorrow." I say turning her to face me and holding onto her hand. She can't just walk away from me. Not happening. I'm going to be more commanding of her now.
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"Mhmm" she says looking into my eyes briefly, clearly on a high from the good news of receiving her first major leading role, and chewing on her lower lip.
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"I told you not to do that" I say smiling and glancing at her mouth.
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"Sorry, it's a habit" she laughs. I release her hand and touch her lip with my thumb. I will not kiss her again until she asks me.
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"See you then" I say softly. She smiles and then leaves me walking in the opposite direction. I look at her for a while, as she walks elegantly through the snow. How she doesn’t notice how many guys glance in her direction admiring her beauty is beyond me. Her long hair swishes down her back, her boots making her legs look even more irresistible. She is classy, and absolutely the girl of my dreams.
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Continuing in the direction of the car park I head for my Range Rover, deciding that I need to get off of campus.Taylor and I are friends, just friends. I have known from the beginning that she is with Matthew, that he draws her in his free time and that he has now secured a ring on her finger. I briefly think of the marks on her wrist and ribs as I cross the parking lot and wonder what the hell he is playing at marking her up like that. It’s just unnecessary, I worry about her and then push the thoughts out of my brain decisively. Starting up the range and reversing out of the bay.
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If he was out of the picture I think to myself as I indicate out of campus and turn onto the lane, this would be easier. I could take her out. I could impress her and make her see me. There is something between us, that she is denying and maybe if I can let it play out a little longer then it might just be enough for her to consider me at least.
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I must admit to myself though my current line of action isn’t getting me anywhere, she’s quite happily taking both myself and Matthew for a ride. So I decide right this very moment upon a new plan.
Looking out onto the gritted highway on route to the hospital, I decided not to dote over her, look how far that has gotten Ross I think to myself. No more caring, no more loving glances although I was quite enjoying the whole thing. I’ll be Jay the friend, the guy I normally am around girls. She may hate me, but it’s a gamble I’m rather interested in taking.
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