Ross' POV
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Pulling onto Matthews drive we take in the dark house and I decide to get her out of the car and go inside with her to wait for him. I guide her up the steps noting in my head that Matthew needs a porch light. She opens up the large oak door and we hurry in from the cold. Pulling off her boots Taylor walks through to their grande kitchen and turns the lights on, pacing over to the oak dining table she picks up a note and smiles down at it.
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"He's at the shops" she says simply smiling to herself and heading over to the iron kettle. Placing it on the gas stove she turns to face me.
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"Want some tea or coffee or something stronger" she asks me as I take a seat at the head of their table.
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"Just coffee please babe" I smile over at her.
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She turns around and busies herself with making the drinks and I watch her move, around her kitchen. I'm completely in love with her, who am I kidding. I start to imagine that we are together, that Matty doesn't exist and we live together and she's in love with me too.
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"You think we got everything we needed done? I don't feel like Jay was very helpful" she says turning to face me as I begin to wonder how many children we would have should we exist in our little imaginary life. I look up at her and she smiles.
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"Yeah it will all be okay I'll type the rest later" I tell her as I stand up and take the mug of coffee from her. She walks through to the living room and tucks herself into the sofa.
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"Do you think that he really likes her?" She asks me out of the blue.
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"Jay?" I ask watching her face and sitting down next to her. She moves to me and tucks herself in my side as I move my arm around her shoulders.
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"No. I've seen him do this a lot. I'm just happy it's not you or Rach he's doing it too. It's not on. He makes me so annoyed, he's a total predator. I don't like Jane but she doesn't deserve it at all" I say eyeing the flatscreen as she turns it on.
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"I feel like I should say something to warn her” she whispers sipping her own mug of tea.
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"She'll throw it in your face. She's jealous of you" I warn her placing the mug down on the coffee table and resting back.
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"She has that look whenever she sees you, mainly because he can't seem to stop trying it on with you or staring at you around her" I admit frankly.
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"I don't see it" she says resting her hand over my chest.
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Jay watches her all the time, intently as if he’s working out how he will strike. Jane is yet another girl that he will mess around with and then discard when she is no longer fit for purpose. Taylor’s phone bleeps and she jumps slightly leaning over to retrieve it from the side.
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"It's Jay" she says openly her eyes raking over the message, annoyance coming over her expression.
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"He's an ass" she sighs and I smile at her instantly.
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"He wants to have sex with me" she says directly and I scoff openly, I mean who doesn't Taylor I think to myself but I keep that one in my head.
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"What did he say ? Is he bothering you?" I ask as I brush a lock of her hair back, tucking it behind her ear as she lays back down on my chest.
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"He told me I was beautiful and asked if he could bend me over his kitchen counter" she laughs placing her phone down without answering.
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“He’s pretty direct huh” I laugh and she sighs winking back into my chest. Reaching down she holds onto my hand by her side and I feel validated and accepted in her life, it is a gesture we're doing a lot lately. Ever since the accident, physically we're more connected. She's more emotionally receptive to me. I consider myself her boyfriend even though I know that's not true.
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I rub her hand with my own and look down as she closes her eyes. I smile at her, obviously I want to have sex with her. Yet I also want her in every way a man can need a woman; to lay in bed with her, feel close to her, hold her in my arms and protect her from everything the world throws at her.
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"Want to watch a film?" She says sleepily.
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"Sure" I whisper feeling like I'm being spoilt with all of this alone time. Switching the tv onto the movie channel, eventually she drifts off. Lying down with her head in my lap. I stroke her hair away from her face and gaze at her, realising that she trusts me enough to sleep around me.
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I barely watch the movie, I’m too focused on her long hair and porcelain skin. Taylor is the prettiest girl I’ve ever met, her skin is glowing and clear even without makeup. Her eyes are kind and soft and she has cheekbones that a lot of super models would pay for.
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"Ross" she murmurs as I stroke her arms.
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“Shhh” I say to her as she turns around sleepily facing me and tucking her hands around my waist. Her breathing deepens again and I rub her back.
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The door clicks and she's still asleep so I don't move her. Matthew strides in with a few bags his eyes soften when he sees her, I mouth to him that I'm sorry and put my hands up to say I'm not touching her. But he only laughs, coming to sit down next to me. I watch him as he crosses his leg over the other and scrapes his hair back.
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"She okay when she went to sleep?" he whispers and briefly I wonder what he's going on about.
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"Yeah fine" I whisper back.
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"We got all of the work done, taylor and myself. Jay was no help. We've decided not to include him anymore" I say to him rolling my eyes.
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"What did he do then" Matty whispers.
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"He just sat there making out with Jane." I whisper back and he rolls his eyes.
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"He's trying to make her jealous, but he's only getting himself into more trouble" Matty laughs.
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"What's the deal with him" I ask Matty, he always knows.
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"I'm not sure entirely, Rach told me that when they were dating he was saying Taylor's name whilst he slept. That's not really his usual game is it ?" He sighs looking down at her.
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"No. She's been pretty vocal about how much she doesn't like him. And she seems pretty relieved to not sit with him anymore" I say and he nods.
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"Do you think we should say something to him?" I add.
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"'Maybe." He says and then she moves sighing before falling back asleep.
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"Matty, I can't stop thinking about her all of the time" I say looking down at her.
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"I'm sorry man and I don't want this to come between us, but yeah I'm completely in love with her" I tell him truthfully.
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Matthew eyes me curiously before sighing and looking down at her face, the way her arms are wrapped around me.
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"I know she has feelings for both of us Ross, I love her unconditionally. I will do anything to keep her with me. And I don't want our friendship to be affected by it." Matthew says looking at me.
He's so measured, calm and reasonable. At the same time that I appreciate him it also aggravates me. It's like he knows everything is going to go in his favour, he’s sure of himself. Totally confident in their relationship.
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We're at a constant impasse. It's the same conversation each time. Me telling him I love her him telling me he loves her and there being zero resolution. For me it's harder because I have to leave. I have to leave her with him, every single time. And consider that they are together and I'm alone.
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“I kissed her earlier” I tell him and he looks up at me appalled. Tension on his face as he sits next to me.
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“She told me no and that she was with you” I add as he watches me.
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“Why” he begins softly but she stirs. When Taylor opens her blue eyes she focuses on Matthew.
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"Hey there" she says smiling.
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"How long have you been home" she asks him sitting up and smiling.
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"Around half an hour" he says to her concern shadowing his features.
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"All okay?" He asks softly as she moves off of me. She nods sitting up and facing us.
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"Ross and I watched a horror film" she chuckles looking at the flatscreen which is now on the sport.
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"Well he watched it and I slept" she giggles standing up and stretching out as I avert my eyes. Casting them down to avoid staring.
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Not particularly wanting to third wheel them in their own home I stand and pull my car keys out of my pocket, striding towards the door. Taylor wraps her arms around my neck smiling.
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"Thanks for being an epic pillow" she laughs.
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"I'll see you tomorrow" I tell her holding her back.
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"See you tomorrow" she whispers demanding that I let them know when I’m home safe, before I leave alone.
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