Taylor's POV
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Monday morning comes by quickly, Matthew and I spent Sunday together going for a walk in the woods nearby our home and eating a roast dinner, he cooked explaining that he spent some time in the UK as a child and that a roast is the most comforting food he remembers. I avoid my phone all day feeling terribly guilty about my behaviour towards Jay. That mixed in with continuous thoughts of my baby that I lost keeps me from celebrating what I do have; Matthew and the baby that is still cooking in my tummy.
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The first thing I insist upon Monday morning is showering, washing away all of the thoughts and spending a long time just standing under the water. Matthew comes in as I stand staring into space. He slips under the water and puts his arms around me. I kiss him over and over, surrendering my pain and getting lost in his capable hands.
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Matthew watches me as I dress in a black jumper dress before pulling on his own clothes and carrying my stuff to the door.
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"We can stay off" he whispers as he places my jacket over my shoulders, he watches me stare at the door and I smile up at him shaking off my bad mood.
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"Let's try and do some normal things" I say quietly and he nods. I need to be around normal conversation, to focus on everyday things like what to eat for lunch and when my essays are due in. That way I can feel more like myself again.
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"I love you" he whispers rubbing my thigh before he reverses off of the drive.
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"I love you, I know I've been a bit up and down and I'm working on it" I tell him and he shakes his head looking over at me before pulling me in for a quick kiss.
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"Taylor, I understand. We're both still getting our head around this, and it's totally normal to feel the way you are feeling" he explains softly.
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"You're the best most supportive fiancé I could ever ask for" I tell him and he smiles over at me, placing his hand on bump and rubbing me.
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"Thirteen weeks" I whisper to him and he smiles.
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Matthew parks up at university and escorts me to psychology, kissing me at the door before leaving he instructs me to message him should anything worry me or if I just feel like I need to be at home rather than here.
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Climbing the steps up to my seat I spot Jay and instantly my eyes lock onto his. His hair is pulled into a top knot and he's wearing a shirt today. Another Ralph Lauren one from his collection. Ross gives me a grin and I breathe out shakily. Taking my jacket off and sitting between the two of them I cross my legs over and look ahead.
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"Morning" Jay says nicely and I smile up at him.
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"Morning" I reply instantly feeling the physical tension between us already.
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"Nice weekend?" He smirks and I swat him as he laughs.
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"Yes yours" I ask him, Jay never fails in getting what he wants from somebody. Right now he wants to make me laugh and he is doing well.
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"Just perfect" he sighs melodramatically and I snicker before focusing on the lecture and not either of the two seriously hot blonde guys next to me.
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***
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Jay's POV
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Taylor, is flirting with me, her eyes continually finding mine as I sit next to her. The problem is that I see her now and instantly I'm turned on, even more than before. She glances up at me and I want her moaning in my ear like she did down the phone on Saturday night. I briefly imagine her straddling me in this very chair, how she would call out my name and gasp in my ear, I look away from her legs and at the front.
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Shifting her body over to me I smile up at her, realising that she makes me nervous now in a way she didn't before. In a way that no girl ever has. I stroke her thigh with my fingertip inconspicuously. Taylor thinks I have so much control, I don't. I have zero control over her power of me.
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Once Carter stops talking, I pack up my stuff and get ready for a swift exit. My thoughts are racing and I need to try to get a hold of them. I watch as she stands next to me, briefly taking in her thighs as they're right in my eye line. I spoke to her about art, I spoke to her about my mother and now I can't stop thinking about all of the things I want to share with her. All of the places that I know that I can take her. Imagining her lying on a private beach in Australia with me as I kiss her softly or walking through the bustling streets of Dubai her hand in mine. Eventually Italy, something tells me that she would enjoy the wine and the pasta. I want to feed her gelato and kiss her neck.
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"Jay you coming?" She asks swaying her hair behind her back as she begins waking with Ross. She stares at me in my chair and I nod to her wondering how I became boyfriend number three. Following her around and hoping we could be more.
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Watching her walk has now become a past time of mine. Staring at her legs I wonder how it is possible for her to get more attractive each time I see her. She brushes her hair back and it swings down to her waist, I watch her hips moving from side to side wondering if she has ever visited Australia. If she's seen the beaches or bathed in the sunlight all day. Theres so much I need to know about her.
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She sneaks a glance behind her and I look up. She smiles nicely, sweetly. Not naughty Taylor who seductively moans down the phone. She climaxed calling out my name, and before I knew it I was also in the same position as her. I've never experienced phone sex before, but something tells me that Taylor is an exceptional case.
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As we approach the canteen I can only hope I don't get ambushed by another angry blonde. Trying to ignore Taylor and Ross, boyfriend number two, I decide upon pasta for lunch whilst wondering how I manage to succeed in becoming boyfriend number one.
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Thankfully Matthew is yet to arrive, as once he does come on the scene everybody else is insignificant. Taylor stands in the queue next to me as I scrape my hair back and look forward.
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"Snap" she says eyeing my pasta and grinning. I laugh somewhat nervously remembering our entire conversation on the phone.
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"Nice" I say quietly.
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"What's up?" She asks in a hushed tone, she glances over at boyfriend number two who has secured our usual table.
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"Nothing babe" I say just willing her to stop, I catch her eye and If I was with her, I would pull her lips into mine and kiss her. Softly at first of course, she stares back at me before glancing at the door. Rachel enter and she smiles and waves at her from the queue.
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"Hey I'll get yours" I tell her nicking her pasta pot and placing it on my tray.
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"Darling we only had phone sex you don't have to buy me food" she laughs and I smirk.
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"Imagine what I would be doing if I actually had sex with you Taylor" I quip, I'm utterly serious of course.
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"Pasta for sexual encounters" she laughs curiously and I watch her eyes, mischievous and playful.
"Hey have you ever been to Australia?" I ask her randomly and she looks at me incredulously.
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"No" she says slowly as we head over to the others. Together.
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"You'd like it" I say smirking and she laughs as I imagine her in a bikini on a private beach where I can spoil her in more ways than one.
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"Hey Rach" she says smiling at her as Rachel eyes me curiously before looking away. Wearing a bright blue tracksuit and trainers she turns her attention to Brad and smiles at him.
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Mindless blonde in her tracksuit begins talking and I focus in on Taylor as she takes a seat next to Rachel in the sofa. She leans back and eats her pasta that I bought her as Rach is going on about Brad and honestly I wish them well. He's a better boyfriend than I ever would have been. I perch on the chair next to the sofa and eat my own pasta, wondering how I'm going to get through another hour of psychology with her next to me.
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Matty greets her kissing her over the table before sitting opposite her with Ross. She glances up at him pure devotion emanates from her face as he begins chatting to Ross eagerly. I tell myself I'm not jealous and that I don't want her to look at me like that but I do.
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Binning my pasta I barely notice when they all look up as I exit to smoke and stare into my phone for answers to my problems. As I exhale and inhale it calms me relatively and I begin walking over to psychology. Placing my cigarette in the provided ashtrays, I spray myself briefly with my cologne and chew a mint before heading into the building.
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Setting myself up in the lecture hall, I look out into the empty hall and sigh. Twenty minutes early is a situation I've never been in before, I start to wonder what the hell I'm going to do when I return home to my apartment and realise there's nobody there waiting for me to spend time with. It's never bothered me before yet now it's all I think about.
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I gaze up as the doors click open and she walks in, looking down at the steps as she climbs them wordlessly up to me.
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"What's up then" she asks and I'm shocked that she came here early, I'm even more shocked that I'm alone with her. What a privilege.
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"Nothing Tay" I say combing my hands through my hair.
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"Sounds like it, tell me" she demands facing me in her chair. I push away thoughts of kissing her and look into her eyes instead.
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"I spent the whole weekend thinking about you. And forgive me but I don't want to sit around and watch you with the love of your life, okay ?" I tell her.
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"That has not bothered you before" she says quietly feeling defensive as she watches me carefully.
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"You called me, Jay" she insists as I scoff and she shakes her head.
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"Because I think about you all of the time. And actually you really piss me off. Because I usually get with girls and then get over them but I can't work out how to just stop you from being in my head" I say exasperated.
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"I called you yes because I was literally thinking about you whilst looking at art, and I thought fuck it. And then you answered like that, but somehow it's still all my fault. But don't worry about it, I won't call you anymore" I add sulking.
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"I'm sorry, Jay." She says but I don't listen to her, I block out her words and I just stare at her. Her skin is gleaming and she looks incredible. Eyeing me carefully as I lean into her, the scent of honey and apricots and Armani emanating from her as I deliberate what to do with her.
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"It's all good, sorry for my outburst" I say finally and I look away before I kiss her. She leans back and sighs, I stare at her uncomprehending as she looks up into my eyes.
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"Don't make that noise, it was quiet in here before you came in" I tell her.
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She strokes my arm with her hand and I flinch yet she continues anyways undeterred by my frustration. The stress leaves my body and I watch her smiling wondering how she manages to placate me, of all people. My mother is the only woman who can talk me down.
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"You're not being fair" I smile at her.
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"And you're asking for trouble" I tell her.
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"What do you mean" she says facing me her hands on my forearm.
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"I mean that you touching me is going to get you into trouble" I whisper leaning into her.
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"I'm already in enough" she smiles.
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"Want a bit more?" I ask staring into her face. Her cerulean eyes stare at me seriously and she swallows.
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"There's a naughty side to you, Taylor" I say softly.
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"I happen to love it" I add, my face close to hers as I stroke a lock of her hair behind her ear and smile. No more physical intimacy until she's mine I tell myself harshly pulling myself away as she sighs. I bite down on my lip and eye her legs.
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"You have a fantastic voice, the way you sound drove me fucking insane by the way" I say looking away.
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"Is that so" she laughs crossing her legs over.
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"I mean I'm not shocked really everything about you is pure perfection." I explain getting ahead of myself. She grows silent and I count in my head.
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"Jay, I'm not going to deny how I feel around you. You're very good looking and the way you think of me actually I feel kind of honoured. I'm not as good looking as you make me out to be." She says softly and I watch her genuine expression. Taylor; the girl that has guys queueing up is delusional.
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"I can show you just how perfect you are" I tell her scraping my hair back out of my face.
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Students begin filtering into the room and we distance ourselves from one another not realising how close she was to me, I face my laptop again. Ross eyes her from the door, he walks up in his cord shirt jacket and Superdry beanie eyeing me briefly like I’m the big bad wolf. Giving her I’m his best smile she greets him and they begin talking about his English lecture. I learn that she has been sitting in on a few of them and I eye her as she talks passionately defending my Darcy and his behaviour. Ross engages her totally before the lecture and I resign myself to being third in place of her affections.
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