Taylors POV
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Trying to get my breath back I almost barge my way down the corridor, realising that I’ve lost Joseph Quinn to the crowd. I wipe my eyes, lightly dabbing at them and remind myself that it’s pathetic to cry over somebody who isn’t even yours.
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I push my sadness away as the cold air bites at my skin all the way to the dance block. Deciding that this is a life lesson, I tell myself that Jay has every single right to pursue other girls, even if he did kiss me yesterday. I’ve shoved my relationship with Matthew in his face continually and I should expect this kind of behaviour from him. We are friends, and he isn’t a very good friend to girls I remind myself thinking of Rachel, why should I be any different?
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The warm air hits me as I enter the gym and dance block. Stripping down in the changing rooms to my leotard and tights, I place my lace up ballet shoes on and lock up my belongings in a spare locker before heading out to the foyer feeling severely underdressed waiting for the studio to be free. I look through the windows and watch the senior dancers cool down briefly as I wait for the space to be free.
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The electric doors at the entrance open and the cold air rushes in, just as the studio is vacated and my teacher engages me in a conversation about what I need to focus on with my studio time. She glances down at my pointe shoes and nods. Looking up briefly at the entrance, I see Jay entering with his gym bag and hide my red eyes. Placing my back to him I practically hide my mushy face from view not wanting him to be able to tell that he made me cry.
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Dancers filter out as my teachers leaves me and I wait with my head down for the space to be free. Striding into the studio deciding that I will not waste more time thinking about Gilbert Scott, I turn the music on and warm up alone.
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The door clicks as I’m mid pirouette, and I face the mirror steadying myself. Watching Jay walk through the door and stride directly over to me, I brace myself for more mixed messages.
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“Taylor” he says surprised by himself, looking down at my leotard and then up to my face again, he gulps and then recovers.
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“What’s up Jay” I ask him as he grabs my hands in his own.
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“I just” he begins and then stops releasing my hands before continuing. I wipe my eyes and look away from him, clearly my emotions are running exceptionally high today. Perhaps I’m about to come on my menstrual cycle I think idly, we still haven’t performed the tests and it’s bugging me that I’m still not on. I push the thought away and look at him.
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“Look we’re friends right” he says softly.
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“Is that really true though” I ask him and his emotions flare again, a look of annoyance suddenly crosses his face.
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“Yeah well I thought so, okay? I don’t follow my friends around like a lovesick puppy. If that’s what you mean” he snarls, we are truly reading off of different scripts today. Rubbing each other up the wrong way.
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“Ok so right why are you here then? You followed me into the dance studio not the other way around” I say defensively.
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“Because you looked like you had been crying” he says exasperated, concern shadows his face but he masks it quickly. I wipe my eyes and he curses pushing his hair back.
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“How the fuck am I supposed to leave you alone” he says to himself turning around and sighing.
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“I thought you were doing just that with this blonde girl you’re pursuing” I say to him and he eyes me cautiously when he faces me again. His steely grey eyes washing over me.
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“Taylor, okay you’re engaged. To my best friend. I cannot pursue you if you don’t want to be pursued it’s just impossible” he says exasperated.
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“Whats her name then” I tease him and he laughs walking over to me again. Now we are just arguing with one another, the tension high like a pressure pot ready to spill over.
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“Why do you even want to know, right? You’re engaged to Matthew he walks on water and all of that crap, you’re always with him. Why would you want to know about my life” he whispers to me.
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“Because you’re my friend” I tell him and he sighs looking into my eyes amused.
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“Taylor I don’t want to be your friend, I want to kiss your entire body okay?” He explains.
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“Nothing interests me less than just being your friend that follows you around aimlessly” he laughs slightly.
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“I want to fuck you all night long. I don’t want to be your friend or the home wrecker to your happy relationship” he says and I watch him half turned on and half angry. Just full of passion.
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“I understand” I say looking down at the floor.
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“So until you decide you want me in any capacity, or in all the ways that I need you. Then I’ll just be going about my normal life” he says and he’s finished that much I can tell. He takes one lingering stare at my leotard, before leaving. I watch his bare back leave as he presumably heads into the gym, and I fight the compulsion to throw myself at him. Telling myself that I must keep control of my emotions and ground myself. This is what you wanted I remind myself.
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After he leaves I throw myself into practice, pushing myself to the absolute limit and working my body to an extreme. Turning the music up and working through my solo, hitting all of the marks and positions perfectly. I close my eyes intently so that I don’t cry, I pull myself together focusing on moving rather than thinking.
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When the music stops and I'm in my ending position. I smile and open my eyes. To an empty dance studio, apart from one person. The love of my life. Matthew must have snuck in without my knowing, whilst my eyes were closed.
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"So you're mad talented" he laughs and puts his arms around me.
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"That was beautiful" he says and he kisses my forehead.
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"Thanks, it's my black swan solo. I've learnt it already. If I can do it eyes closed then I know I've nailed it" I say smiling at him.
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"You're insanely good Taylor. I can see why you're the lead" he says smiling.
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"Thanks" I smile.
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"Wait here I'll grab my things from my locker and we can go and eat" I smile again kissing him. He holds onto my hand before I leave and pulls me into him, kissing me passionately.
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"Matthew" I whisper pulling back from him.
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"Don't worry I'm going to let you go and get changed" he smiles down at me his hands holding onto my hips.
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"I've been thinking about you all day, I can wait a little bit longer though" he adds seductively.
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I pace back over to the ladies changing room and change into my mini skirt. Pulling my hair out of the ponytail and brushing it out, spritzing perfume and placing my Barbour jacket on. Lastly of course my thigh high boots go back on. I put on my best war paint in the mirror after that heated conversation with Gilbert Scott, and smack my lips in the mirror spreading the lipgloss before strutting out into the foyer and walking on the arm of my fiancé.
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Matthew parades me around the food court, and we choose a meal together. He carries the tray over to our normal spot with the others and I can feel Gilbert Scott’s stare on me instantly before I’ve even glanced at the sofas and spotted him with the blonde girl from psych class.
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Rach beams at me when we reach them, I notice that she is on Brads arm and I smile. Eyeing up her cute dark red jacket and skirt I tell her that she looks gorgeous.
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“Oh Taylor those boots jeez girl” Ryan says enthusiastically and I smirk over at him.
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“Nice” he smiles and I blush taking a seat in front of Jay and his new girl as Matthew places his arm around my shoulders.
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“Hey there” I say as she stares at me uncomfortably in her polo shirt, perhaps she is also a sports student I wonder idly.
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“I’m Taylor” I say by way of making conversation when she’s silent.
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"Jane" she replies curtly and I nod before tucking into my salad.
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"Tay" Rachel says looking over at me as I’m forking avocado into my mouth.
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"Fancy dress Saturday night? You in babe?" She asks looking over at me.
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I glance up at Matthew and he smiles down at me nodding.
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"Where is this one?" I laugh, planning in my head what I could possibly dress up as.
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"Where it always is, Ryan's" she's laughs back and I look over at Ryan as he shrugs.
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"Okay yes we’re in, what are you wearing?" I ask her and she snickers planning.
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"Let's go as bunnies" she laughs and I smile looking up at Matthew. A wide grin falls across his face and I kiss his lips.
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"Like bunnies as in sexy ones” I say laughing out loud eyeing Jane briefly, and wondering whether we should include her.
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"You know bunny ears, leotard and hold ups. We will look perfect" she laughs.
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"Hot. Let's buy some stuff Saturday together" I say to her imagining myself in a leotard with bunny ears.
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"It's a date" she says winking at me.
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"Shall we drag Ross along to the party I mean not sexy clothes shopping" I laugh looking up at Matthew.
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“I should hope not” he jokes and I ruffle his hair.
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"Ross is out !?" She asks me elated.
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"I'm collecting him tonight. We'll take him home. He will be fine to party, Ohhh" I say remembering my promise to Ross about making out with Rachel in front of him.
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“I kind of promised Ross I would make out with you in front of him” I laugh and Jane tuts clearly displeased by my behaviour.
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"Fucking awesome" Brad says and I laugh.
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"Awesome now I'm excited" she smiles. Ross is the cornerstone of our group. Without him we don't all get along. We all end up arguing and in tears, I just cannot wait for Ross hugs.
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"Do you guys feel like a fancy dress party" Ryan asks Jay and Jane calling out over the table whilst drinking his cappuccino.
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"Yes we're in" Jay says for both of them. I glance at him for the first time properly since our heated conversation earlier. He eyes me awkwardly before looking away. I smile at Jane as she watches me carefully sizing me up.
