Jay's POV
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Sometimes you have to correct yourself when you realise you are wrong. As I take a seat on the couch in the living room, the double doors open and the moonlight streaming in illuminating my father rocking Henry to sleep before a roaring fire. An empty babies milk bottle on the mantelpiece from Henry's last feed, I gaze upon my father's hands holding onto my child and I soften. As Henry gives into sleep and he places him down into the bassinet, smiling down at him I consider all of my prior judgements of my father and tell myself I was wrong. He has even removed his business attire; wearing a soft jumper that makes him look like a grandfather instead of a business mogul.
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Silently I pour each of us a glass of brandy as he watches my baby quietly. His eyes finally darting up to me as he smiles, and the small smile lines that cloud his face are a sign of age. Of slight weariness from a busy life thinking and making decisions. Facing the mantelpiece as he takes the glass of brandy and sips it, he looks over the framed photos on the ledge and chuckles to himself.
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Taylor had picked out the shots and decorated them with gold ornate frames. The central picture is one of us getting married and saying I do, she looks ethereally beautiful in her long sweeping white dress as she gazes into my eyes and I delicately hold her hands in my own. Another shot is a selfie she took of us exploring Tasmania, surrounded by wilderness. Unlike the immaculate shot of the wedding, my hair is pulled up in a messy top knot and I'm not wearing a shirt. Taylor looks wonderful however in her white tank top and leggings. Her brunette locks falling over her shoulders as she kisses my cheek.
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My eyes travel over to a shot taken in Aspen Colorado, we had just experienced the break in at the lake house and I had decided to get us away. It's my general rule of thumb when things are getting too much. Remove the stressors and change the environment. So I took her to Aspen, we bought a lodge and we hiked up maroon bells. On the way home we had also discovered that we were pregnant, taking a test in a fancy hotel room and realising we were going to be parents. The revelation of Taylor being pregnant was different the first time around, this time we were full of joy still until I started researching the many complications that can occur conceiving so quickly after giving birth.
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The Aspen photograph, taken just before we had clarification of our pregnancy, is a shot of her kissing me at the very top of the mountain we hiked. We felt as though we were on top of the world, having just ran into a bear that sauntered off uninterested in us.
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"Aspen" my father comments softly as he looks over the image and I smile.
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"I always liked Aspen; maroon bells was a nice escape for us after the break in" I tell him as he nods, pushing his blonde and grey hair back and smiling. Looking at my dad is like seeing myself in thirty years time, the similarities are uncanny. I wonder whether Henry will look at all like me, and marvel at the notion of us having this moment together when he is older.
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"Hey do you remember when we went" he says to me, for some reason I had thought he was going to bring up the business however instead we are taking a trip down memory lane. He takes a seat next to Henry's crib and crosses one leg over the other as he smiles genuinely at me.
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"I'll never forget you squaring off to that bear or mountain lion whichever one it was, Jay" he laughs and I shake my head smiling.
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"Huge wild beast it was, and there was my son, merely fifteen years old wielding a gun yet he was squaring off to it with his fists instead" he chortles and I can't help but to laugh.
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"You're not that boy anymore Jay, you think before you jump. Take your time before you run in. I'm proud of that. You're a man, a dad" he admits softly looking again at the pictures on the side. His eyes settle on one of Taylor with the baby and me. I let his words sink in, a dad I think to myself, I'm somebodies father. It sinks further and further down into me as I tell myself that soon I will be the father of two children, something my dad never was.
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"Taylor's pregnant" I blurt out emotionally, breaking his concentration as he looks over at me. Slight apprehension in his expression which quickly changes to pride. My father is aware of the risks involved with quick successive pregnancies, he lived through them with my mother.
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"Taylor is pregnant again" he whispers softly, before sipping his brandy.
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"Congratulations son" he smiles before eyeing my wary expression. My worry and my panic evident as I look into the fire. Matthew has gotten into my head; all of his concern and worry earlier. His care over my wife and the accusation in his tone when he spoke to me.
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"It's so soon what if something happens to her or the baby" I say worried looking at the bassinet as Henry sleeps soundly next to us. It rocks automatically back and forth and he snores. I begin imagining having a double stroller, two car seats in the Lamborghini.
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"Then you will look after your pride, something happens and then you look after them" he says softly a slight wry smile pulls over his lips as he shakes his head. Pushing his hair back, a gesture I have inherited, and sipping his brandy clad in a Armani chenille jumper and smart designer trousers he eyes me seriously before he continues.
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"You were the carer of your mother for far too long, Jay" he explains softly with a hint of regret. His voice low and quiet before he looks over at Henry again and the steady rise and fall of his chest.
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"You cared for her, when I couldn't keep my head together. You did that and it was totally and utterly unfair, for a thirteen year old to pick up the jobs only a father can do.” He explains looking at me square in the eyes, it’s not something we have ever spoken about. Neither of us wishing to draw attention to that time in our lives.
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“So if you've learnt anything from me let it be that. Learn from my mistakes" he says finally before sipping his brandy and eyeing me carefully. Recognition of that time is all that I needed to fully forgive my father. It dawns on me that I was still holding onto that prejudice even through the smiles and the laughter. Standing I cross the room to him as he pulls himself together and wraps his arms around me. It’s not something he has done since I was a young boy and honestly it brings me to tears.
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“My son, I am so proud of you” he says as we pull ourselves together.
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“Business owner but most importantly a father and husband. And a wonderful one at that” he says genuinely.
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“Thank you dad” I whisper softly before we look down at Henry, breathing steadily his hands above his head as he curls his lips and purses them in his sleep.
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"Taylor will be fine" dad remarks after a pause, gazing down at Henry before he looks back up at me.
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"Taylor is young and healthy. And she will be just fine" he says holding onto my forearm.
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"This little baby; he's you through and through. Will be a wild child, a strong and convicted young man, you should be proud of him. Just as I am of you" he finishes with a twinkle in his eye as I chuckle.
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“I couldn’t agree more” I laugh looking down at my son. In all of the ways I can tell that he is me through and through, I see Taylor in him too. From his curls to his twinkling blue eyes. Lifting his small sleeping body I carry him out of the living area over my shoulder, swaddled in his comforter to his mother.
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