Taylor's POV
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Hot, is my first thought as I drift back into consciousness. The air is just too hot. I move the cover away from my face, rest my hands on bump with my eyes still closed. Feeling Henry lightly jab at me, the kicks are getting stronger by the day.
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I breathe in softly and rub my belly. It feels heavier, altogether wider. I open my eyes to our room in cherry tree, the cream voiles pulled over the four poster bed. The soft morning glow of the sun shining through and hitting on Matthew's skin, down the side of his chest. He's asleep, his chest rising and falling in front of me.
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Brunette curls unruly, some falling into his face and closed eyes. Long dark lashes sweeping over his cheeks. Slightly pink cheeks set against his olive skin. I sigh and just look at him, daring not to breathe in case of waking him.
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Imagining his eyes opening and admiring the look of adoration in them, his low voice and how he would mutter good morning.
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Selfishly I look at him and decide I can keep him like this, mine when I need him. But the more I stare at his olive glowing skin and his chest with the tattoo written over his ribs. Almost reaching out to trace my finger over the words. The more I understand just how much I need to let him go.
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The longer that I want him the more I realise that he cannot be mine. This is not fair, on him or Jay. I cannot expect Matthew to just be there for me when I need him. And then play "just friends" when my husband is around.
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I turn to grab my phone instantly feeling his hands pull me back. Soft hands that caress my hips. And I realise us being in bed together is becoming a thing. When it shouldn't be happening at all.
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"Morning" he says in that low throaty voice. As I turn to face him unlocking my phone.
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Brunette eyes still closed, I glance up at him and then check Jay's messages. He makes me smile even by text message. Updating me on the menu on the plane, telling me that he loves me and misses me. I smile from ear to ear and reply. Placing my phone down I face the half naked male in the bed.
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"Think we've crossed a line" I say softly, and he blinks slowly.
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"You moved the line, I placed the duvet as a physical line Taylor" he smirks and I full on laugh.
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I shove him lightly and it does nothing but make him laugh.
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"Did you sleep okay though" he asks opening his eyes.
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"I did" I say slowly, imagining the alternative of lying here alone in an empty bed.
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"Don't worry I texted Jay telling him you fell asleep" he murmurs looking into my eyes.
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"I know I've just messaged him back" I say softly. I push my hair back off of me, feeling hot and sticky.
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"Matthew I'm literally naked in bed with you this is totally inappropriate" I say cheeks flushing.
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"Don't worry I know you're with him. Momentary remember." He laughs nonchalantly.
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"And be hush about it, fuck he would have me for it" he laughs and I can't help but to smirk.
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I chuckle and absentmindedly stroke his face, realisation dawning on me I remove my hand and place it back down by my side. I glance out past the voiles at the beating sun and the gentle breeze.
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"To be fair you climbed into bed, and did your normal thing. I just had to get in with you" he says.
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I lay watching him, the colour in his cheeks and his chiselled jaw. He smiles at me and I sigh as he props himself up onto his elbows looking down at me, just like he used to when we were together. The covers wrapped around my body.
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"When's the appointment" he asks slowly. I had almost forgot. The maternity clinic.
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"It's at 11am" I say softly.
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"You know it's already 9am" he says.
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"I need to shower" I say stressing.
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"Me too" he smirks.
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"Let's save a bit of time and hop in together" he smiles cheekily.
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"Come on, I'll wash your back" he laughs and he gets that lopsided grin on his face, the one which means he's being cheeky.
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"Matthew" I say laughing, shocked expression all over my face at his directness.
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"Taylor" he says laughing a grin on his face.
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I climb out of the bed from my side and walk to the en-suite, I can't help but to glance back at him as he follows me in. His hands pushing curls away from his face, and I remember a time when we dreamt about our children having his hair and my eyes.
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"You will not be washing my back" I laugh turning the shower on and standing under it in front of him.
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"We're just washing to save time" I whisper as he walks into the large enclosure. Eye's trained on me. Water begins dripping down his dark hair, as he stands opposite me. Eyes looking down at me like green pools of desire. The heat steams up the shower enclosure and I lather up my hair closing my eyes.
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"Do you remember when.." he whispers, and I feel his hands in my hair lathering up the soap.
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"I used to" he says softly mouth close to my ear.
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"Wash with you every single morning" he whispers.
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I open my eyes, water droplets running down his hair and face. His hands in my hair moving down the lengths of it.
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"I'm washing you, it's not a crime" he says sexily and I wonder where this side of him came from. Naughty, cheeky and breaking all of the rules.
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I smirk at him, refusing to touch him back.
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When he charmed me first time around, it was different. He knew I was his. He had already won. Now though he's being irresistible. I gaze into his eyes and he watches me a small smirk on his face. He’s trying to win a battle that has already been fought.
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"Turn around" he orders softly.
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"What's the point in washing with your friends, if they don't do your back" he says as he rubs my lower back.
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"I think we're both clean enough now" I chuckle as he works his thumbs into my lower back. I'm losing track of time with him, like my usual sense of order is gone.
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“I need to draw something” he mutters and I imagine the absentminded look fall over his face, he used to draw every single night. Sketches of all sorts of things, he painted a floor to ceiling canvas of me once. His art exhibition got him a scholarship in London, which he is postponing because of me and my selfishness.
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“What do you need to draw” I ask him still facing the opposite direction.
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“You’re my muse” he whispers.
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“You want to draw me, again” I ask turning to face him.
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“Is that odd?” He asks watching me.
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“It’s just there’s all of these moments in my head, where you do something, or you look in a certain way and I think I need to commit that to memory. Put pen to paper. It’s like a reflex” he laughs.
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He steps out of the enclosure grabbing a towel for me as I turn off the stream of water. He wraps a towel around his waist and I make myself follow his wet footsteps, all over the light grey marble floor back into the bedroom.
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“Taylor” Matty says softly as I’m in the walk in wardrobe pulling yet another dress on. The heat feels even more suffocating today and I’m sure in order to survive the day a dress is the way forward. I gaze briefly at Jays clothes, pace over to his side of the wardrobe and breathe in the scent of him. Pulling his favourite light blue shirt off the hanger and placing it on over my white dress. I think it may be worth having a constant reminder of his presence.
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“Yes, Matty” I say back in the bedroom watching him pull on his khaki t shirt.
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“I’m going to draw you later” he says a smile on his lips.
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“Does that mean sitting still for a very long time” I laugh.
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“Not necessarily. I know every line that makes up the masterpiece that is you, almost by memory.” He says and I don’t doubt him. He’s had practice.
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“Now though” he says as I walk over to him, a grin on his lips as he checks his watch.
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“It’s time for me to be your chauffeur again” he laughs.
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Selfish, I’m selfish I tell myself as I walk down the winding staircase following him out to his car. He could be building a world with anybody, yet I keep him here. Matthew could be in London drawing all kinds of landmarks and sights, he would bump into a girl who asks him about his artwork. And she would see what I see. His smile, his green eyes and his ability to make everything wonderful.
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