Jays POV
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Matty is okay really. He did just make my fiancée orgasm. Let's not forget that too soon. But well, we are bonding over a brandy bottle. My inhibitions are lowering, the more I drink.
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"Jay, this really is quite strong" Matty laughs.
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"It's pretty necessary right now" I say chuckling.
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"Man this must be a bit of a challenge" he says and he looks at me knowingly.
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"The thing is, this would have been like my idea of absolute heaven before" I laugh.
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"And now, it's not that I'm not enjoying it, I'm just like in..." I begin slightly drunkenly.
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"Fight or flight" I laugh.
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"Taylor touches somebody and my body responds" I say.
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He looks down into his brandy.
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"Yeah man" he says also slightly drunk.
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"I know that exact feeling" he says.
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We both down some more brandy. I can hear Rachel making noise from here and I cringe.
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"Remember when we were first dating, and I knew everybody wanted her" Matty says still looking into his drink.
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"And I found it so hard not to yell and punch up the whole town" he laughs.
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"You're a better man than me" he says looking at me.
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"I'm not sure I agree entirely" I say, he's like a younger brother.
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"I did take her from both of you" I admit and I had to go there. We haven't said that aloud yet have we?
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"When I met Taylor, I was actually" he begins and laughs.
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I wait, I'm not gonna beg him to take this trip down memory lane.
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"I met her, with Ross. He was majorly like pulling moves. And I remember thinking, wow I thought this dude was gay until now" he laughs.
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"Would have been a hot gay dude" I laugh.
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"Yeah. He was like trying so hard. And I thought to myself, I bet I'll be able to beat him. And I know that's bad, selfish and mean. But I thought yeah this girls mine. When it actually happened though it changed me" he says looking at me.
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"Jay, I couldn't have been more happy that you were a surfer and not a skater that day" he laughs and I laugh with him. I prefer water not land.
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"I was in Dubai" I say absentmindedly.
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"You were? How do you remember" he asks drunkenly.
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"I've spoken to Taylor in detail about stuff, I was back a few weeks after you two met." I say.
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"I was in Dubai, my mum wanted to connect with me more. I was becoming a stranger, or so she said. She took me to a clairvoyant." I mention.
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"I hate that shit, I told her it's all crap. She was like Jay have a sense of faith and adventure" I laugh.
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"And what happened you can't tell me that and not finish the story" he laughs. And we're back to the old buddies we used to be.
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"So we went to see this woman, old lady she took one look at me and she was like reading me as if I was a book" I laugh swigging the brandy.
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"She said to my mum that new beginnings were in store and a life that she had always yearned for, a future generation was in the distant future" I say.
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"My mum cried and I grew annoyed. I saw it as somebody taking advantage of her" I say.
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"She then took one look at me and said people who refuse their hearts die alone. Lonely and unwanted." I begin.
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"Harsh" he laughs.
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"She said that denial is deadly and that soon I would find space to fill all of my lonely and unwanted parts of myself or some shit. She basically told me I would fall in love. Mum cried again and I left without tipping" I say.
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"Turns out though" Matty laughs shrugging, and I've hit a spot. I can tell from the slight annoyance to his tone. He still likes to think that he loves Taylor more than me. I
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"I should have tipped" I laugh.
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"How is Claire" he asks. Changing the subject.
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"My mum yeah she's great, over the moon." I say smiling. I push my hair back.
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"My dad is even doing pretty good now too" I add.
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He smiles and watches me for a second.
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"Do you believe in all that stuff then" he asks me.
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"What stuff?" I ask him pouring him some more. I know what he's going to say, I just want him to say it.
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"Fate, the clairvoyant predicting you falling for Taylor and eventually her falling back for you. Love?" he asks me.
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"Oh I believe in Taylor. I'd love to think my mum messaging me pulling me to Dubai for an intervention, the clairvoyant all of that shit was intentional. Was part of a plan. But truly I can't say? I love Taylor. Shes not just the first, she's my only." I tell him. I let that sink in for a minute.
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"Is that why you pursued her though? Because you didn't know each other, you might have never met. If we'd have gone to different colleges. But you had to know her" he says.
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"No I was curious, I didn't believe in anything before I met her and got to know her. That night I came to yours" I begin and he looks into his drink.
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"Jen had been going on about you and Taylor. I wanted to get high to block out her continuous whining. Plus Jen doesn't ever go on, not about girls. Buy Taylor, that was a different story, she was emotionally invested in her demise" I say and look at him. Im reminding him of his own mistakes.
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“First Matty I just wanted to see who your new girl was. What was worth all of this commotion ? I thought she was just another girl right.” I say looking at him.
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“Wrong” he laughs.
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“Taylor was” he begins and looks up at me.
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“Taylor was different from the beginning, I was an idiot to say what I said. Ross was annoying me being all honourable and I’d already kissed her by then and done other stuff but he didn’t know. He told everybody she was messaging him, and I got mad jealous that she wasn’t messaging me so I said it to hurt him. I wanted to throw him off but it made him more determined. He loves her” he says.
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“The way we were before she met you, before you came over to mine and before the party. It was like we were the only people in the world” he adds.
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“That night you saw her. For the first time. Did you fall in love with her ?” He asks me.
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“The night I came over to yours and she was literally sitting there like the epitome of everything I’ve ever wanted in my life. Physically I haven’t ever wanted anybody more ever. And I did a me, run from the situation think about it all for a bit” I say.
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“I’ve made my fair share of mistakes too” I admit.
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“I actually didn’t want to cause problems between us Matty. But you sabotaged your relationship with her, and I felt for you. I couldn’t stop looking at her though. Even when you got back together, I couldn’t stop myself. I couldn’t even focus on having causal sex with anybody because of it” I say to him.
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“Man” he says and he sips his brandy again.
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“I still love her” he admits and he looks at me in the eyes.
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“I love her more than when we were together because she’s gone.” He says.
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“Having sex with her just now, I don’t think I’ll ever not be in love with her Jay” he says and he’s telling me that if I fuck up he will be there for her. He will swoop.
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My impulsivity is high. I could snap, just like that. I hold myself together, watching it in my head and trying to erase the sound of Matty pleasuring my wife. She came for him.
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“Maybe London is going to be a good thing” he sighs. I couldn’t agree more.
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“I’m sorry” I tell him before we leave.
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“I’m sorry that I swooped in. But I do love her.” I say in an attempt to keep the peace between us.
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“I know you do” is all he says. We head back out with only half a bottle of brandy left.
ns 18.68.41.179da2
