As soon as the door closes, I grab ahold of Jay not intending to ever let him go.
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"Taylor" he says softly and his big strong arms carry me over to the sofas.
He holds onto me and pulls me in close. Stroking my back and my hair. Not demanding me to talk just holding me close and waiting.
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"I should not have left you down there" he says softly.
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"It was stupid and idiotic and I will never be so stupid again" he says stroking my back.
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"I'm sorry I let you down, majorly" he says.
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"This is not your fault" I say sobbing.
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"Please don't think that" I sob.
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"I just" I say beginning and realising I can't find the words to explain any of it.
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I cry some more going through it all in my head and working out how to say it out loud. The man's hands on me, invading me.
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"I hid for some time. Behind the 4x4" I say to Jay and he nods.
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"There were two and I was worried about guns and being shot. I searched under the 4x4" I tell him.
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"For anything to use" I say looking up at him into his kind searching eyes.
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"The men found me and the younger of the two stayed. The older one left." I say looking ahead again.
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"He told me that I wanted him because I stayed down there instead of following you into the house. He ripped my dress and told me to whimper for him" I say looking down. I changed into my sweatpants before the police arrived. Jay strokes my arm and I realise I'm crying again.
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"I did as he said Jay, but I positioned my leg under him so that when he was distracted I could knee him so hard in the balls" I say looking up at him again.
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"I need to wash" I say suddenly standing up.
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"Taylor you showered before the police" Jay begins softly holding my hand and guiding me back down to him.
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"I know. I know" I say sitting down again.
I need to stop feeling him on me and when I wash he's gone.
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"He was distracted. He kissed my neck and my chest and touched me, and he pulled my panties over and I couldn't...so I rammed my knee so far into his balls" I say to Jay
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"I took advantage of that moment and swung the metal rod that I found under the 4x4 into his face" I say suddenly bemused.
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"He staggered back and that's when I joined you in the kitchen" I say laughing.
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"You had your best 'Jay' smile on even when there was a gun pointed at you" I laugh and he strokes my hair.
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"Then the gun was on me and alls I could think was shoot me and not him" I say and I stroke his face and kiss him passionately. Adrenaline surges through me like an aftershock and I climb on top of him. Kissing him and pushing my hands through his hair.
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"I need you Jay" I say between kisses. And he pulls me into him kissing me back.
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“I need you too Taylor” he says.
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“I was about to jump in front of the gun” he says between kissing me. His hands travel up to my jaw and he cups it in his hands delicately.
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“I would die over and over again. I would take all of the bullets” he says looking at me.
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“I am so sorry that you went through that. All of it. I love you so so much and I will do anything to make it better” he says watching me.
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“You are so strong and clever” he smiles slightly.
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I kiss him again and he carries me upstairs to our bedroom. He lays me down on our familiar bed and stands watching me. His eyes taking in my body even in my sweatpants. Slowly he pulls them off and begins at my feet. Kissing and working his way up checking for anything. Any bruises or marks.
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“Tell me if this is too much” he murmurs when he reaches my waist.
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“I need you. I need this” I tell him. And I do. I need him all over my body.
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He softly pushes my top up and I sit up to take it off entirely. He kisses my tummy, lingering there. Stroking my tummy and kissing it affectionately. He moves up to my breasts and kisses them all over. Instinctively I open up my legs and place them around his waist. He covers every inch of my body, with his mouth and his hands. Almost as if he knows just what I need, like he always does.
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“Are you okay Taylor” he whispers in my ear.
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“Yes, Jay” I reply pulling him closer.
“I need this now” I tell him.
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When he is inside of me I push up and into him. And he moans my name. We stay in the same position the whole time, him on top. His arms cradling me and me thrusting up and into him. We climax together, even our lips touching one another’s as he whispers that he loves me unconditionally.
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“I’m going to check the house” he whispers once we’ve caught our breath back.
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I go to stand up with him and he lays me back down.
“I promise you I will be two minutes you can even time me” he smiles.
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I let him go with a protesting kiss and whilst he’s gone I count in my head until he returns. Telling myself that I will be fine and more importantly that he will also be just fine.
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He returns, shirtless and with just his boxers on. I take him in as he crosses the floor to our four poster bed and climbs in next to me.
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“Can we bring this bed with us” I smile at him
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“We can” he laughs.
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“We can take whatever you like to our new home.” He smiles kissing me.
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He pulls me into his chest, which is the only place I want to be.
“I’m here” he whispers just as I’m drifting off to sleep.
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