Taylor's POV
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I smirk at Jay, the way he walks back into the party with his shirt still undone. Hair tousled, cheeks glowing pink. It couldn't be more obvious what we've been up too. But we're newly weds, nobody is judging. He heads for the bar and I pull at his hand lightly.
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"Oh no you don't" I smile, he looks down at me irresistibly.
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"You owe me a first dance" I smile. His face lights up and I smile as he takes charge and heads over to the dance floor. Our guests stop what they're doing just to watch us dance. And I just love how he owns the moment, he is confident. And all mine.
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I keep his eye contact the whole time, he holds me closely as the band plays you do something to me. I reflect on how this is the perfect song choice for our first dance. The second he laid eyes on me, he changed my world. All of those small moments leading up to this. To us being together, forever.
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"Do you remember the first time I stayed at the lake house" I whisper in his ear.
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"How could I forget" he whispers back and his hand cradles my lower back.
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"You said" I whisper.
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"That if you had sex with me, it would mean forever" I whisper and he looks in my eyes.
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"I knew that this was different for me" he blushes and I kiss his lips softly.
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"Did you imagine back then, that we would have all of this" he says softly.
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"Honestly" I smile softly. And I place his hand on our bump, his breath hitches. He looks at me again like he's in a trance and I smile, it's a new expression. One I'm growing to love already.
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"I couldn't have ever imagined that we would be this. A family ready to start our forever together. And not only that" I smile and he's hanging on my words.
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"It's the first time I've fallen so hard that I've worried about how it would feel if you left me. Like I mean you were and are so perfect, you're Jay. With the blue eyes and blonde hair, the most perfect man I've ever met. And I felt like I couldn't hold on, like I was falling so hard and so fast and I just prayed that it would be forever. That I would get to keep you for the rest of my life" I say.
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As the song comes to a close he kisses me, forgetting everybody and brushing his lips with my own.
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"I was also drowning in the intensity of what I felt for you. Actually long before we even got together. So when I finally had you, to myself, I couldn't ever let you go. And I never will" he whispers. I can hear people clapping and it takes me right back into the here and now.
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It was the perfect first dance and I never want to be away from his arms. I smile up at him and see the moisture behind his eyes. It strikes me that a man, that can cry in front of everybody we know and care about, is truly devoted to his feelings.
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"You need to give your mum a dance" I smile looking over his shoulder at Claire who is in bits watching us. Our Dads at the bar clapping, and I wonder what they could be talking about.
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My Mum gazes at me and mouths the word perfection to me. She loves Jay, who doesn't ? I pass him over to his mother and she smiles at me.
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"Taylor, I haven't had chance to say" she smiles.
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"This gown is divine. You look truly wonderful" she smiles and I lap up her approval, she has high expectations and very good taste and her compliments feel wonderful.
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"Thank you" I tell her warmly and then she takes Jay for a dance. I watch him dance with his mother and cannot help but to swoon.
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"Taylor" I hear Ross say just behind me.
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My breath hitches slightly, I have been avoiding him.
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"Just a quick one" he smiles as I turn to face him. I smile at him and let him take me in his arms. He holds me closely and I sigh resting my head on him slightly.
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"You look wonderful" he whispers.
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"Truly beautiful" he says.
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"I can't imagine" I begin looking up at him a tear in my eye. I'm not an idiot, this is hard for him. Yet still he is here.
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"Shh" he says softly a tear falling down his cheek.
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I catch my mother's eye over his shoulder, she is watching me and Ross closely. I know that she witnessed his reaction to me when we got out of the chariot earlier. I know that she is keenly aware of his attraction to me. And right now she is just watching.
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"I don't want to hurt you anymore" I say.
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"You're all good" he smiles and lightly brushes my hair back.
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"We're just dancing, that's what people do at weddings" he says softly.
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“Yes but we’re not just people to one another” I say and he just holds me.
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"I couldn't quite believe it when I first saw you" he whispers and I smile.
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"You are the perfect bride, rendered me breathless" he says softly.
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"You look wonderful too Ross" I say.
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"I'm actually going to have to thank your mum for rescuing me from that situation; otherwise I might have been on my knees again" he laughs. I blush bright red.
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"You" I say and I lose track of my thoughts as his hand brushes my bare back. I smile up at him and his eyes tell me he wants to kiss me.
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"Me ?" He whispers holding my eyes in his own. He knows just how much he is affecting me. His hand holding onto my bare back pulling me in.
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"We” I say softly looking into his eyes before I rest my head into his chest.
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“had a moment, you were staring at me. I thought my mum was staring at my dad. But actually she was just watching us. And she took you away because she knows me. She knows I may have started crying" I tell him.
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"Because you look" I say and his hand brushes me again.
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“Like Ross, in a suit” I finish and he chuckles.
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“You should have told me this before I would have been rocking up to uni in suits everyday” he laughs.
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I laugh out loud and look up at him smiling.
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"I'm happy for you" he whispers looking into my eyes.
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“I want you still, I wanted to be the man at the other end of that aisle. But I want you to be happy” he clarifies.
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"Matty is shooting me daggers just for dancing with you" he laughs releasing his grip on me.
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I pull him back in and he sighs. It’s a habit of mine, keep him just close enough. To not lose him.
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"You're making this difficult" he sighs as his hands close around my waist.
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The song stops and I release him from my arms.
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"I love you" he whispers. He holds me closely, and I let him have me for that moment. His hand on my back, my face tucked into his chest. Inhaling his cologne and savouring the moment but telling myself that I need to let him go. I need to let him hold another woman in all of the ways he’s held onto me.
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We walk over to the bar where I plan on getting him and Matty a strong drink. I eye Matty and he is just there for me. Making strides across the room towards us. I order three whiskey and cokes. Jay could do with watering his down. I smile.
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“I wish I could get you a drink” Matty says to me and I smile. Ross removes his hand from my back and clears his throat.
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“I’m on the virgin cocktails.” I smile.
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Matty orders me an alcohol free pina colada and I smile at him.
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“Jay told me” he says and I take a seat up on the little stool, my shoes are very high. Ross one side of me and Matty the other. How things never change. It briefly takes me back to the party at Ross’ where I sat on his kitchen counter with Ross to my left and Matty to my right. Years ago. I look at Matty now realising just how much we have matured since then. He eyes me and I take in what he just said.
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“He told you about the job” I guess and he nods putting his drink on the bar.
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“It was bound to happen. He’s finished uni and I haven’t. He needed some kind of job. And it’s Jay, I can’t imagine him working at the local store can you” I laugh.
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“Who’s working at the store” Rachel bounds into us.
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Matty watches me, he’s evaluating. Forever working me out. Forever focused on my wellbeing. It’s intense, his green eyes just daring me to look into his own.
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“Well Jay has a new job since he’s left university, it’s a big one” I sigh.
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“I’m obviously studying until I have to stop” I say stroking my waist.
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“Or until I can no longer drive myself in” I smile.
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“I’ll drive you bestie” Rachel smiles.
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“What’s the job” she asks.
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“Thank you” I smile thinking of Rachel’s driving scares me a touch.
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“It’s a top chair position in his father’s company” I say and Matty watches me.
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“His dad by the way, fuck me. Bloody hell” she sighs and it’s totally inappropriate. And totally Rachel.
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I smile briefly looking over at Andrew Gilbert Scott next to my father, hitting it off drinking bourbon with my dad who is sipping a Coke.
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“It’s basically Jay. I know” I laugh.
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“That sounds like a big deal” she says meaning the job.
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“It is.” I say and I leave it there. Matty makes eye contact with me again and I need to know what’s going through his mind.
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“Okay less talking.” I laugh.
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“Matthew James Henderson, would you please take me for a dance” I say and he smiles, brushes his hair back like he used to.
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“Taylor Gilbert Scott, I would love too” he smiles, and he used my new second name. Rachel squeals.
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“Oh it sounds so nice” she says meaning my new name.
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“Come on Ross, ask a girl to dance” she laughs grabbing his hand.
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We head over to the dance floor. Jay is still with his mum and he gives me the eye as if to say I need you back soon. I smile at him and mouth the words on my way. But not before I get it out of Matty, whatever they have spoken about I need to know.
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