Taylor’s POV
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In southern California, big bear lake is the heart of the state. My mom once told me that black bears roamed the waters and that swimming was not permitted for that very reason, I laugh looking at the lake from the window in the restaurant that we are in before turning my gaze on my mother. Her long hair braided and a pale yellow shirt done up to the neck.
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“Jay lovely to see you again" my mum is saying to him hugging him like he is her own son. He smiles and stands proudly next to me. One arm resting behind my back.
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"Lovely to see you Mrs Harris" he says.
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"My darling" she says focusing her attention on me.
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"Look at this tan!" She smiles.
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"Now I want to see all of the pictures" she says holding my hand. Her head cranes down to my hands and she gasps. Full on gasps in shock as she wells up and takes a seat next to the window.
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"Well my goodness. Is that what I think it is" she smiles looking between the both of us.
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"That is wow. Quite something." She smiles looking at our grins.
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"Of course with your permission, I would love to spend the rest of my life with Taylor" Jay says to Evelyn my mother.
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"Jay I couldn't ever think of anybody more suited to Taylor. You do not even have to ask me" she smiles proudly eyeing me.
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"No objections here I can see how happy she is." She says inspecting my finger and our tattoo.
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"That was my idea" I laugh awaiting a remark about tattoos.
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"It's beautiful" she says taken aback by the intricacy of the piece.
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“Tattoos are usually awful but yours are wonderful” she says simply before we order. Jay and I had flown back yesterday, he took care of everything. I’m leaning that there are two types of people in relationships. People like Jay who plan and make things work. And ones like me that go with the flow and hope for the best. We combine well. Our bags are unpacked, we are seated at our booking in a cosy Italian bistro with my mum and pasta is on its way. I'm sipping my wine and smiling.
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"So we got our initials on our fingers” I tell her leaving out the chest tattoos tactfully.
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"Beautiful so when is the wedding" she smiles in her element. I will have to stop her from getting carried away and asking for grandchildren.
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"We want a summer wedding, in Sydney" I explain.
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"Wow" she exclaims.
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"I'll be waiting for the invite" she smiles.
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Our mains arrive and she smiles looking at me tucking into my pasta.
"Taylor" she begins slightly unsure. She eyes Jay and then proceeds.
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"Now it seems the right time. Odd really actually that this should all be happening for you and at the same time..." she explains.
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"Mum spit it out" I smile.
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"It's... it's your dad. Actually. He has written to you. And I've brought it with me." She explains pulling a small envelope out of her purse.
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My dad. I freeze a little and Jay massages my leg under the table. I haven't spoken about my dad. To anybody. He's not an awful person, he's not aggressive or violent. He's just not present. Not available and never has been. So I ceased asking for him or about him, because there was never anything for me there. I take the envelope and eye it with curiosity. My thumbs going over the scrawl in the front.
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"I will read it, I just don't know why he would write after a long time" I say to myself. The last time I saw him was when I was around 6 years old. He took me to the beach and although I was happy looking at the sea and the waves in the ocean, going on the rides and the carousel I couldn't help but notice a look of absence in his eyes.
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Dad and I had gotten fish and chips yet he didn't eat he just watched me finish up my food and then drove me home silently to my mum. I fell asleep in the car watching the sun set, little did I know that I would never see him again. I gave up asking by the age of 10, there was nothing, no news and knowing that he just vanished was worse than anything.
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I clear my throat, my mother and I had steered clear of the beach since that day. Evelyn, my mother, had not wanted to resurface any of the painful memories.
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"You know Taylor I think it's important, I would never withhold anything, or not tell you. This is your decision to take him up on that contact or not" she sighs looking at me with earnest eyes.
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"Enough. You are engaged. My baby daughter. I am so so happy for you" she smiles.
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Jay strokes my arm affectionately and it brings me back to my life. To him and to his love. Out of the cold abandonment of my dad and his absence.
Squashing down the feelings of uneasiness and resentment as I take a forkful of pasta refusing to let that feeling take ahold of me again.
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"Is your pasta okay" Jay asks, I must be quiet.
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"Yes it's perfect" I smile at him and he smiles back slightly worried.
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Of course I want to read the letter. Now though is not the right time. I'm going to enjoy seeing my two favourite people together, Jay my fiancée and my mother. Her kinds words and smile. I watch her speaking with Jay and realise that I don't even know what they're talking about. Instead I look over at his blonde hair scraped back and his tan. I breathe out finally not realising that I had been holding my breath. He's wearing a casual shirt and his surf bracelets. His tattoo on show at all times. His piercing blue eyes captivate me and I watch him talking, relaxing at the sound of his voice. My safe space against any pain or worry.
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I cling onto the normality of us going home to our lake house and the fact that we are going to university tomorrow. Where there are no long last fathers to crop up out of the woodwork.
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