Ross POV
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You could say this is insanity. You genuinely could and I wouldn't blame you. It is. After all she's marrying my friend in a couple of days.
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But as she walks in the room now, I can feel something between us. Something that isn't just physical, something that haunts right back to the first time I saw her. Something that I will never leave behind. Not even for the sweetest of smiles, not even for the most innocent eyes. Something that usually she denies, yet I embrace with open arms.
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"Can I just say" Matty remarks.
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"That's undeniably the hottest dress I've ever seen" he laughs.
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"Thanks" she smiles sweetly, in red lipstick which begs me to kiss her.
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"Rachel" she sighs. She will deflect the attention over to her, she hates feeling like she's overshadowing others.
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"That's beautiful and really your colour" she smiles looking at the blue dress Rachel is sporting.
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I glance at her and then look back at Taylor again. Rachel has been eyeing myself and Taylor over and over again, she is grasping at the straws trying to work out what our deal is. It's so simple, we love each other. We are made for one another and Jay is just well Jay. Somebody who knows how to play the game and win her with everything that he has.
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"Fajitas are done" Matty says helpfully. Since when were they best buds again? It's like climb back down out of his ass.
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"Thanks man" he says and goes to get them. Taylor places her hands over his arm indicating that he should relax. She smiles and he kisses her lips. The red lips that I want to kiss.
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She walks over to the kitchen island. Leans slightly over it and grasps the plates. Pulling the wraps out from under the grill she places them on a serving bowl and heads back over to the table.
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We all take a seat and begin serving up fajitas.
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"This is literally the most civilised hen do ever" Rachel laughs.
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"Oh I don't know" Taylor smiles.
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"Let's get the guys to be our strippers" she laughs out loud.
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"Taylor" Rachel smiles and she'll be all over that idea for hours.
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"You are genius" she laughs.
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Taylor eyes me just quickly. And it's moments exactly like that one that send me crazy. Her eyes feast on me, my chest and my lips. Just very quickly because she doesn't want anybody to notice. I eye her right back. Mine.
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One day I'll make her mine. Even if he marries her. He will fuck it up, sooner or later. And yeah she'll be hurt but I'll be there. I will not lose her ever.
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"I'm down" I say and Jay eyes me.
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"Yeah man" Nate says.
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"Course he's down he's built up all that time in the gym" Nate chuckles.
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Taylor eyes me again, and if I could I would lift her up and pull her into me. But I can't. It confuses me, how sometimes I can have her physically. And sometimes I have to pretend she's like my sister or something. Untouchable.
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Her eyes linger on my hands and I wonder what's going through her mind. She eyes my wedding finger. And then she looks back down at her plate. I push my hair back, trying to put myself in her shoes is impossible. I would never be in love with somebody else. I only see her.
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She does love Jay though. I'm sure of that. It's a bizarre turn of events that Matty lost her, I never foresaw that. They were end game, and then suddenly she was with Jay all the time. He started to change who he was, and she just never left him. It's not romantic. It's not meant to be. Taylor and I have real chemistry, we have mutual interests and we're just right for each other.
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She looks up again and I've really gotten into her head. She catches my eyes, and I look into hers. She watches me briefly and in all of my wildest dreams I hope for her to call of the wedding and throw her arms around me. Pull it together, I tell myself. But somehow I imagine her taking her rings off and placing mine on. We'd have to do something about the tattoos right ? But there's always laser removal. I chuckle out loud and Rachel looks at me as if I need professional help.
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"What's up Ross" Taylor asks sweetly.
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Oh nothing babe, I just wanna have you for the rest of my life, impregnate you with all of my babies. Grow old together and live a life worth living.
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"Nothing" I chuckle
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"It's probably the beer" I say. I face palm myself internally. What a douchebag thing to say.
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Taylor smiles and looks at me again. She's waiting for me to snap, expose my love for her to everybody and she's worried. Because I'm just a secret.
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"So where is the wedding by the way" Rachel asks and I tune back into the conversation.
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"It's someplace special" Jay smiles and Taylor looks at him as if he's her everything. And I just want to stand up and shout but I love you.
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"We need to have a clue" Matty says.
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"It's hmmm how can I say it" he says and I want to slap him. His hand on her thigh. Her hanging on his very words.
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“It’s quite traditional. But Taylor will love it” he smiles.
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She strokes his hair back. She’s sliding onto his lap again and he places his arms around her hips.
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“So it’s in a church” Rachel laughs.
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“Jay marrying in a church” she laughs looking at Matty. And he is happy for them because he’s a better guy than me.
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“Who would have thought it” Matty laughs.
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“My mum actually” Jay laughs.
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“She always wanted me to get married. And I didn’t think that would be something I would want ever. Because of so many things. But all of those things just became irrelevant when Taylor started changing my world” he adds and she’s stroking his chest.
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“Now are you going to strip for me or not” she says lightening the mood. He looks at her with undeniable love and she smiles. Kisses him slowly, before standing and clearing the table.
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