Matty's POV
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Holding Taylor, is like holding no other woman. Truly I don't think I will ever hold onto another in the ways that I have held her.
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I will stay in this for the long haul, because it's important to me that even though she's married to Jay, my best friend. Who thinks he has the upper hand on me now. That she realises just how long I will wait for her. Even if it's twenty years. I'll be there, to claim back what is mine.
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I glance at Jay quickly with Claire his mum, and I do care for him. I care because I've known him for such a long time. I care because him being happy with a woman believe it or not is important to me. Taylor is not the right person for him, Taylor is mine. Simply because we were supposed to be together.
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And call me a snake for getting him on my good side, that's fair. But I love her and even though Ive known him most of my life, she means more.
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"Matthew" she says in my arms. And I love how she says my full name.
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"Taylor" I say and the only thing I can remember is her moaning my name when we had sex a few nights ago.
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Jay thinks I won't let Ross move on her because I respect him. It's not that at all, she's mine. I'm just not stupid enough to ask her to marry me when she's marrying him. There's time.
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"What did you two talk about" she asks. I'm a gentlemen and I lower my lips to her ear, my hands on her back.
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"We talked about you" I whisper and her breath hitches slightly. I know Taylor. I was with her for just over a year, we conceived a baby together. And I know her reactions inside out. I raise my head to evaluate and look into those eyes. The eyes that will look into mine again, properly.
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She dodges me at first but I won't give her what she wants unless she looks into my eyes.
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"What about me" she says softly.
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She looks into my eyes and there it is, like pure magnetism. Normally I would pull her in and kiss her, and one day I will again. When she asks me too.
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"We both care about you Taylor. Jay wanted to make it clear that even though we had sex" I say and she just watches me intently. Her eyes looking into mine and my hands slowly brushing her back. I look over her shoulder briefly. He is unaware, then I catch eyes with her mother. Not good, she is on to me. I look back into Taylor's eyes and she is waiting on me. Taylor's mother remembers me of course, she has already come and said hello twice.
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"That I was clear on my position in your life. Even though I already am" I tell her. I do think I'm clever, she assumes that I mean that I am on his side. That my position is just to be her friend, but I don't mean that at all.
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"Are you clear" she says surprising me. And I must say I love this side to Taylor. I lower my lips to her ear.
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"Play fair with me you know how I feel" I whisper.
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I face her again, wait for her eye contact.
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"Do you think he thinks I would just do it again" she ponders and I'm shocked by her honesty. This Taylor is new to me. She looks up into my eyes and I get lost this time thinking about being inside of her. Thinking about her calling out my name.
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"I'm not sure that he thinks you are the problem" I say finally, assessing her.
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"He thinks you might try again" she says and she's thinking out loud. What I would do to try it all again with her right now. I brush her hair back with my fingertips. The song has changed and I've barely even noticed. She just watches me, she doesn't touch me back. My hand travels down her cheek and over her neck.
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"You would try" she whispers and she looks me in my eyes. Hold on a minute, I'm supposed to be coming onto you. Not the other way around. I need to take the control back.
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"Would you want me to try Taylor ?" I say softly and I gaze into her eyes. I look up quickly checking on everybody else. Taylor's mum practically has her mouth wide open in surprise, Jay is still preoccupied. Ross is downing alcohol watching me.
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She looks down into my chest and I know that means yes. She loves my chest. I'll give in to her just briefly. I dip her chin back up to my face. Commanding her to look at me.
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"Would you? Because I will never give up on us if I felt there was reason to cling onto you" I say looking at her my fingers on her chin.
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"Matthew" she begins, my tummy flips wanting her to kiss me and touch me. Her hands go up my arms and she holds onto my hands placing them over her hips and back on her back. Oh how I want to pull her into me.
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"Mmmm" she says and that's not answering me.
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"Mmmm. Taylor I could hear you say that for the rest of my life" I whisper in her ear.
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"He told you about his job, what's that about" she dodges looking into my eyes again. She is bargaining with me; she wants to know exactly what we discussed and I’m going to tell her straight.
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"He showed me his new job salary. You know what that means ?" I say softly and my thumb grazes her back.
She looks at me quizzically. She has no idea.
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"A salary that high means a lot of obligations" I say.
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"Jay knows that he will need somebody to make sure that things are handled and okay. And.." I begin.
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"That I'm handled" she says abruptly. I just love it when she gets like this, it gives me a chance to placate her. To calm her down. To pull her in and be the reason she is calm.
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I put my mouth near her ear slowly. I stroke her back softly. She yields to me, because she remembers my body. I reflect on how because we were who we were to each other for so long, that she will never lose that connection to me. I will always know her body and mind. She will always know mine; and in moments like these we just flow back into where we were.
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"We care about you. Jay may be away sometimes and I will be there" I whisper slowly.
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I let that sink in and I hold onto her. She relaxes and holds me back.
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"Taylor you were just proposed to by your best friend, whilst being pregnant. Jay is pretty high on paranoia at the moment. He trusts me, I'm his best friend. He knows that what he's doing is in your best interest" I tell her and we're moving slowly together. I'm reasoning, I'm being good Matthew.
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"Can he trust you though" she whispers.
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Now she is just begging me to be bad. I’m not giving in, not yet.
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“You can trust me Taylor and that’s all that matters” I say softly.
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“I always have trusted you” she whispers and I put my lips to her ear. Surrounded by the scent of her hair and perfume, she intoxicates me.
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“I’m here and I always will be” I whisper and I kiss her just lightly and inconspicuously. I will not be a complication, I will be a choice. A decision she makes, when she is sure that she wants me. Until then I will steal stares from her and collect her affections.
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“Matthew” she blushes looking back at me as I stare down at her. And I cannot wait to make her say my name more.
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“Oh come on, you did at least try my name out with yours once” I laugh.
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“Taylor Elena Henderson, remember.” I whisper.
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“Stop shhh” she chuckles.
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I keep her in my arms for another two songs, nobody interrupts us, Jay considers me safe. Her mum keenly watches the entire time but that doesn’t surprise me she used to be a fan of mine when we were together.
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“Your wife” I say to Jay when he does come over to us, he smiles and I hand her back because I am a very good friend to him.
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Leaving her in his arms is difficult, however it’s essential I tell myself as I walk back over to the bar. I order another whiskey and get one for Ross too. He’ll be onto me in a minute.
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A tap on my shoulder has me turning around. Taylor’s mother, much like her daughter, is slender and has eyes that search your soul.
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“Matthew” she smiles.
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I hug her briefly and offer her a drink to which she declines.
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“She looks wonderful doesn’t she” she says to me turning to face Taylor. My eyes go over Taylor again and I smile.
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“She is a very beautiful bride” I smile.
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“Jay is your friend” she asks softly.
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“Jay and I have known each other since we could talk.” I laugh and I am all charm.
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“I see” she says softly.
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“It seems Taylor is very popular” she snickers her eyes just quickly appraising Ross.
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“Yes. I would be lying if I denied that. Taylor is special” I say.
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“I want her to be happy” she says.
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“I want her to be happy” I agree with her.
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“The other young man I had to drag him to his seat” she laughs as she sips her champagne.
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I laugh along with her but I don’t comment. I wait for her to get to the point.
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“You are still in love with her” she says abruptly and I can’t help it I flush bright red and she laughs.
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“Sorry, champagne” she laughs.
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“I’ll never ever not love Taylor. I choose her over and over again. But don’t worry” I laugh.
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“I’m not about to ruin her wedding over it, or cause any complications for that matter. She means far too much to me for any of that” I say softly.
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She smiles at me and her eyes appraise me.
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“You always were wonderful” she says and to my shock she walks away. I turn around and face my drink.
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Of course Ross sidles in next to me. I look over at him and nod to the second drink I bought.
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“Thanks man” he says and I look away.
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“So what was that all about” he enquires and I turn to look at him begging him to explain himself. He gives me his normal expression of exasperation, and I cannot believe I’m living with him now. And not the love of my life.
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“Taylor wanted to know what Jay and I spoke about. I told her, Jay wants to make sure of a few things, because of his job and the obligations he may need to fulfil. And then Taylor’s mother wanted to enquire as to why you looked like you were going to faint seeing Taylor earlier today before the ceremony” I say bluntly and he nods.
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“What did you say” he asks sipping his drink.
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“I let her come to her own assumptions” I say.
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“Now slow down on the booze, we’ve still got most of the pacific ocean to cover” I laugh.
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“Don’t want you drowning in it” I laugh again.
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“Where are we even going” Ross says and he’s insolent.
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“I don’t know Ross, why don’t you talk to Jay he makes all the plans” I say.
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“I mean who can afford a cruise for their wedding reception” he laughs.
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I laugh with him interrupted by a second tap on my shoulder. Ross smiles at whoever it is and I turn around.
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Rhea, in an orange gown, pulls me in for a hug. Malachi greets Ross. We catch up briefly and this is a lot of social interaction for me.
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“Hey, I remember you saying” Rhea laughs eyeing Malachi. I remember when it was myself and Taylor, accompanied by these two on double dates.
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“Don’t introduce that one to Jay” Malachi finishes and they look over at Taylor in his arms, kissing him and dancing with him. Shes lost to him. She laughs easily at whatever he’s saying and she kisses his lips like they are to be cherished. He holds onto the bump he put in her belly.
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“Oh Lord I say a lot when I’m drunk” I say glossing it over.
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“Oh yeah ? I don’t remember this” Ross pipes up.
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“You wouldn’t, Taylor was in the bathroom at Matty’s house. And you were with her” Rhea laughs. This was the night we all first met. The night she almost got with Ross but ended up in my arms for most of the night. The night we kissed and made out on my kitchen table. I had dropped her home in the morning, and quickly after that we were exclusive.
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“Ah that night” Ross says.
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“What did you guys do anyways we never worked it out” Rhea enquires looking at Ross, and at least they have moved on from me.
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“I think we just kissed” Ross says laughing slightly.
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“Why didn’t you want her to meet Jay” Ross asks me directly.
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“Because back then Jay was a dick” I say laughing.
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“And Taylor was and is well you know” I say looking at her. I get lost looking at Taylor. Her lips and how her hips sway.
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Rhea hugs me again randomly; but I accept her consolation. She can see that this is difficult for me.
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“Man you’re a better guy than me, being best man” Malachi claps me on the back.
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“Thing is, I’ve known Jay for a very long time. And we were always going to be each other’s best men.” I clarify and he nods.
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“How long do you go back then” Rhea asks confused.
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“Many years. I know him very well.” I tell her.
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“You’re a good guy Matty” she says.
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“Oh I am” I laugh.
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“Take me for a dance” she bargains and a huge grin spreads across her lips.
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“Of course” I oblige nodding to Malachi first. Gentlemanly behaviour gets you far I’ve realised.
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