I haven't actually been inside the log cabin before. Jay has gone to collect the takeaway with Matty. And due to being pregnant and not actually being able to lay in the hot tub I'm exploring my log cabin, it has a flat screen and a fireplace and a fully functioning kitchen. I walk upstairs and check out the rooms, they all have king sized beds and are cosy. The main bedroom at the back has an open fire place.
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"Tay" Ross says and I jump.
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"Sorry" he chuckles.
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"What's up" I say keeping it casual. I look at him trying to read what he wants.
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"I just wanted to be alone with you for two secs" he smiles. I smile back at him.
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"I needed you" he says and his hand strokes my hair.
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I close my eyes. Begging him to stop. I have no self control, I feel emotional. And this, hair stroking and rubbing is something I can't resist.
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He doesn't say anymore he just watches me, stroking my hair back, his fingers exploring my neck and jaw. He's just in his swim shorts and I try not to look at his chest.
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"I love you" he says and he wants me to say it back.
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I said it twice yesterday. I told him I loved him, I always have and it hasn't changed anything.
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He parts his lips and kisses mine softly. It's deadly quiet, I can hear him breathing into me. Feel his sighs as he kisses me.
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"I don't want to go to London" he whispers.
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He rests his head against mine and I cry. Again. He kisses me through my tears.
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"I don't want you to go" I whisper, he deepens the kiss, holding me close.
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"Didn't mean to intrude" somebody says from the doorway and I instantly get my back up knowing it's Jacob's annoying voice. I jump away from Ross, embarrassed like I've been caught out.
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"Taylor are you okay ?" Jacob asks seeing me crying.
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"Yes just hormonal like crazy and you boys insist on bringing out every single one of my emotions" I say huffing.
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"See" I hear Rachel say approaching us. She grabs a hold of Jacob and he smiles.
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"Hormones I don't want them." She says.
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"No you sure don't" I say wiping my eyes.
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"Oh I bagsy this room tonight" Rachel smiles laying on the bed.
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"Go for it" I say leaving her and Jacob there to try out the bed. I sigh and walk down the stairs to the kitchen. I grab some plates and head out to the deck to lay under the stars.
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Setting the plates on the tables I lounge back in my bikini on the outdoor sofa. Looking into the inky night sky; trying not to think about anything.
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"They're literally having sex" Ross says bewildered coming to sit down next to me.
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"I know I thought they might" I say and I turn to face him.
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"London is going to be good for you" I say facing him. I'm sleepy suddenly and I curl up.
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"I can feel it" I smile at him.
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"It would be good with you" he says softly.
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"But Ross you know" I protest.
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"Don't say it" he says softly.
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"I have to though, we've been kissing and touching and telling each other things and it's not fair anymore. I'm going to be married, in a few weeks." I say softly to him.
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He lounges back arms behind his head and sighs.
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"What do you want me to say Taylor" he says.
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"I love you, I did the second we met." He says exasperated.
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"And I know you love me" he says softly looking at me.
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"Yes but it's not fair is it. Me loving you doesn't make a difference." I say and stroke his face.
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He holds my hand and smiles.
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"You loving me is enough" he says.
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He looks down, sighing.
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"Baby okay?" He asks and it's the first time he's mentioned it.
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"Yes" I smile sleepily. I rest into him, feeling myself relax and begin to drift off. He strokes my hair back.
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"I love you" he whispers.
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***
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Chattering, I can pick out Jacob's voice and I grimace. I open my eyes slowly, I'm laying on Ross still and he's got his food next to him on the sofa. Untouched. His legs are up and I'm laying across his lap.
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Matty and Jay are talking and eating. Jay looks so relaxed. He glances over at me, smiles because I'm awake.
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"Ross man, you can eat now." Jay jokes.
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"I'm sorry Ross" I laugh sitting up.
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"We didn't want to wake you" Matty says.
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"I just got really tired" I say stretching out, and heading to the table.
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Jay plates me up my favourite tikka masala, and I grab a naan. I sit down next to him.
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"Hey sleeping beauty" he winks.
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"Hey, you were ages" I smile.
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"Mmmm I'm sorry" he kisses me.
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"Now eat" he smiles and he's in good spirits.
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I tuck into my food, unfortunately I'm opposite Jacob. I dare not look at him. I focus on my food instead.
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"Taylor are you done now with sex parties" Rach says out loud and I almost choke on my food.
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“I think so” I say to her.
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“Really? Didn’t you enjoy it?” She laughs.
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“I enjoyed myself a lot. I think a little too much” I laugh.
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“Hmm” she ponders.
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“Do you want me to fuck you Rach?” I ask seductively.
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“I would love that thank you” she says seductively back.
I giggle looking at Jay. He’s gobsmacked and it makes me laugh.
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“Jay would you like that” I look up at him through my lashes.
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“Hmmm” he stutters.
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“You’re so naughty” he whispers.
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“Hey it might stop you from crying” Rachel laughs.
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I laugh too.
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“It just might” I say.
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