Ross' POV
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"Morning" Taylor says. I rub my eyes.
Her voice has an effect on me, simultaneously exciting me and relaxing me all at once.
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"Morning" I say and I look into her eyes. They're shining, full of life. And love. Love for me.
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Her hands embrace me going down my bare back and I feel in front of me caressing our bump. Our bump ?
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"Ross" she says and just the way she says my name. I sigh; rub the bump I put there and kiss her. Her soft lips caressing mine.
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"I need you" she whispers and my tummy flips with happiness. I bury my head in her chest kissing all the way down to the small bump of our little baby.
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"Ross" she sighs. Her fingertips going through my hair.
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"I love you" she says. And I look up into her eyes; she closes her eyes and I feel myself drifting. Away.
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Away from a situation that is so so perfect in every way.
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***
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Taylor is moaning through the wall; and I'm intent on putting in ear plugs. She's not saying my name like she did in my dreams last night.
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I came in her. Last night.
With zero protection I came in her thinking nothing of it other than I love you. She's already pregnant though and I'm sure that means she's not going to fall pregnant. It does however explain my dreams.
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I sigh and grab my phone quickly check it and get myself up. It’s surely better than listening to her practically shout Jay over and over again through the wall.
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I take a shower and dry myself off, Australia is warm. Already at 9 am, it's staggeringly hot. I’m wearing a loose button up shirt today it’s light blue like my eyes. I push my hair back and head downstairs.
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I head into the kitchen and it’s like all of my thoughts melt away. It’s just Taylor. She’s facing the other way. Not yet aware of me, she’s wearing another little dress. And I curse whoever makes them because they make me fantasise about pulling her skirt up and flirting with her and touching her.
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It’s white and she’s wearing no shoes. If we were together I would wrap my arms around her kissing her and taking her in my arms. She would smile and kiss me back and the world would be a better place.
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“Tay” I say softly. She turns to face me and I look into her eyes.
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“Mhmm” she says and I can’t help it but I watch her mouth just dreaming of kissing her.
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“I ugh” I begin softly.
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I approach her and she watches me, the heat I feel in her stare pulls me in.
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“I wanted to ask you, or I dunno discuss” I say not knowing what to say.
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“I you know last night didn’t wear any” I begin.
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“I didn’t wear a condom” I say eventually.
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“And I know you’re already pregnant, but” I begin.
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“Ross I’m not going to get pregnant again” she says.
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“Don’t worry” she adds and she’s pissed. I don’t understand? Why is she pissed at me?
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“Urm okay I’m sorry” I say and now I’m pissed.
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She looks at me abruptly.
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“I had to ask, because I didn’t even think about it okay? At the time I was just thinking I love you and then I just kind of came” I say and it sounds stupid.
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“Let’s walk” she says taking her glass of orange juice outside with her.
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I follow her, and she sighs.
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“Fuck me this place is hot” I say instantly feeling the sun beat down on me straight away.
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“I shouldn’t have” she begins.
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“No you should have.” I say.
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She looks away unsure of what to say.
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“I didn’t mean to be so crass about it, I just I haven’t ever gone inside any girl ever” I say and I beg myself to shut up.
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“I haven’t ever wanted to. It’s a big deal. I haven’t ever had sex and thought the things I thought about you whilst we were having sex last night. I haven’t dreamed that I’m waking up to you and kissing you. Okay, I haven’t had this before, so sorry if I have to talk to you about it, but it’s easier than it being in my head” I say.
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“I thought you were worried” she says finally.
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“That you came in me and it meant something and you didn’t want it too” she says and I begin to question her sanity. Shes getting married next week. And not to me.
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“What do you want me to say” I plead with her.
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“Or do” I ask.
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We’ve walked far enough to be away from the others should they come down and look outside. I look over at her in her white dress. She stares in my eyes and I decide this is my moment.
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“I’m in love with you” I say softly standing facing her. I stroke her hair back.
Before I traveled to Australia I arranged a few things. And I came to the conclusion that if you’re not actively competing then you’re inevitably losing. And in that sense I mean that Jay has already proposed. And yes she’s accepted his wedding proposal but we will ignore that for now. But he’s set a bar. A level of commitment that he is willing to provide her with. I have not.
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“Taylor” I say looking into her eyes. I get down on one knee and she looks at me with utter disbelief.
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“I have loved you every day and every night since the first time I saw you.” I begin and she’s shocked.
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“I will never ever love another. It is not too late, but before it is” I say.
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“I want you to know that I am willing to commit to you for the rest of my entire life.” I say and I pull out the ring I placed in this shirt pocket.
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She wipes her eyes, and pulls me up to standing.
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“What is this?” She sobs.
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“This is how I feel about you” I say showing her the ring. It’s not a rock, but it is beautiful. Diamonds and gold glisten in the Australian heat.
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“Did you never think to show me this before” she says and she sobs.
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“I think this is just as nuts as you do, okay ? I didn’t choose to fall in love with you. But this is me saying that I want you for the rest of our lives” I say and tears prickle at my eyes. I lean in and kiss her lightly.
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“Don’t answer yet” I say holding her.
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“I’ll know sooner or later. When you either go through with your marriage to Jay or not. I would never ever forgive myself for not proposing to you, for not trying to chase down an opportunity while it’s still viable. To not let you know that you are my soul mate, the one person in this world that I need to spend my whole life with” I say and she looks up at me.
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“I…” she begins and I shh her putting my finger to her lips. She eyes the ring and smiles.
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“It’s truly beautiful” she says.
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“I’ll keep it safe until I know” I tell her.
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I tuck it into my pocket and take her hand in mine.