“I’m just fine” I say wiping my eyes, stuffing the tissue in my purse and fishing around for my compact mirror.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4iaGi7IuMy
I pull it out and assess the damage to my makeup. Thankfully I wore waterproof mascara, so I don’t look like a panda. I top up my lipstick all the while having two concerned guys watch me. Matty looks as though he’s about to start something so I stop my crying, last thing I need is for Jay and Matty to be fighting.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzwfM5q6fwt
“You’ve been crying” Matty says softly. I feel Jay clench at my side as Matty reaches out to wipe my eyes.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMdeni0cGN
“It’s been an emotional few days” I say and desperately try to control my sobbing.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohWNegkUax
I count in my head and stubbornly look up and away from them. The first love and the current love of my life. Not many people get to say that, not many people get two loves. Or even one.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3gye3sbVZg
“What did I ever do to deserve all of this” I say and I stroke Jays face.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjlAaxX9rE
They both look at me alarmed. Like I’m speaking in tongues.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEiSLOoWvsw
“You” I say to Matthew.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJt9EyRfiBs
“My first love. And you” I turn to Jay.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnXSZqPFsvq
“The most attentive wonderful fiancée a girl could ever want, I love you” I say and grab my tissue again. Dabbing any tears away.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrrZbvdfeA5
They both just stare at me.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvIc8xms1BC
“She’s pregnant” Matty says watching me.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxddcg0lwvZ
I look up at Jay and he’s watching me just as intently.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFigVk3wfyV
“We’re pregnant, yes” I say simply.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQBXquAA5qE
“You guessed” I say looking at Matty.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5GzGOxFcL
“You’re emotional the same as when…” he says staring into my eyes.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xIdcIhcFE
Matty swoops his hair back, breaking his stare. He breathes out softly.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGnbU2LClEC
“Congrats” he says smiling at me and I can feel the pain behind his smile. The memories of us being pregnant together seeping through.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsa53295iRB
“I’m not far along, Ross already guessed but nobody else knows” I say softly to him.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuRA4I3NMf3
“I’d rather not have anybody else know because of…” I say looking down at my tummy.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEkMUPd8u0a
“Of course. I would never tell…” he says stunned all over again.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrfjlELKmRE
“Jay” he says turning to him, as if he’s just remembered that Jay exists.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzDGBfw5EQ
“Congratulations man. You’re going to be a dad” he says and his mask is back on.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrDdzbbvvik
“Thanks Matty, that means a lot” Jay says.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEDfteoYcVH
Matty watches me again and I can tell that he’s thinking a lot of things, I stand there wishing I could jump into his brain and have a look around. My desires are for him to be happy and the problem is he sees that happiness as being tied to me. And I cannot give him that anymore.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMa0I6CJI2
“Okay let’s hug it out” Jay says smiling at me.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd82xdIVupM
I let his arms encircle me and I hold him back. I know we’re not finished with this conversation. We’re just storing it away for later.
I look up over his shoulder, seeing Matty’s face just above him and I smile weakly at him.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMlvWW6ZHh
We break away from our embrace and Jay takes my arm. As we begin walking back to the front of the venue I make sure to plaster a smile on my face and smooth my dress over. Suddenly feeling self conscious of my body and how tight the dress clings to my hips and small bump. I feel like now that the people I’m most close to know, more people will see.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXWc1jJSHWO
I glance over realising I have a gorgeous man either side of me, protecting me. It’s almost enough to set me off again. I see plain Jane just ahead of me scowling at me as per usual. Jane dated Jay for sometime before we were an item. I was pregnant then with Matthew’s child. I look away from her, if I pay any attention to her I’ll either cry or scream.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWIq1EH5aeN
We enter the double doors of the hall and I notice the balloons first, thousands of balloons all in shades of white and ivory. Twinkling lights fall from the ceilings as if they are stars. The music fills the room and there is a dance floor where many dates are already embracing each other.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8xEjQznVn
Although the room is large, it’s just a bit bigger than our dining hall. The decorations are tasteful and there are professional photographers set up to take pictures. I make a mental note to get one of all of us together.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXzMvRleUEe
Jay spots everybody at the bar and we head over. Kat has her back to Ross and is talking to Joshua Morelli, Ross takes in my expression and smiles. Told you he mouths and I can’t help but to chuckle. Rach is up on one of the stools trying to get the bartenders attention. Nate next to her is chatting with Ross. Joshua looks up as we arrive and sets me a wide grin, looking up and down my dress much to Kat’s annoyance.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJegcP9Sm1s
Joshua Morelli is one of those guys that cannot keep his eyes on just one woman. He has to acquire them all. That’s his only goal. Head of the football team, destined to be something great when he’s older. Or just another player with a fancy car and a fancy wife who he ignores. His brunette hair is perfectly styled tonight in a way that makes him look manly and groomed. His olive skin glowing and spotless. He looks older than most, but that’s because he’s in the same year as Jay. They are graduating this year. However Jay took on psychology with Ross and myself at the start of the year meaning he still has one year left to finish the course.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCeOmZwB86
I stand the other side by Rachel, not wanting to get into more arguments with Kat. Shes avidly listening to Joshua talk, probably about football. And she’s never seemed more interested in what somebody has to say in her life.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5U8cVZfp7
The barman comes to us, and I order a virgin margarita, beers for Jay and Matty and Prosecco for Rachel. I lean slightly against the bar to alleviate the pain in my heels.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcAoht74LtU
“I’ll get you a stool” Jay whispers and before I can protest he’s off to find one.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkPWhgc4IE
“Taylor” Matty says softly.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4yUm48GEW
“I don’t want to cry okay Matty so keep it light” I laugh.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLNDzUGR9wj
“No I just wanted to say that I’m happy for you” he smiles.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGim8gO04g
“I didn’t get chance to say that earlier” he says softly.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡom8BuhiMVE
“Thanks that means a lot” I say looking at him.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ECuChAzim
He strokes my arm just briefly, and sips his beer. I turn to face the dance floor resting my back against the bar. I see Jay making his way through the crowd holding a stool above his head, I stifle a laugh.
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLCX9ihaTzf
He sets it down in front of me and I sit up on it. He stands facing me his hands on my hips. He kisses me lightly but my body wants more. I hold back from him as he pulls away. He begins chatting to Matty and I relax. Maybe we can all get through this night without any drama or fighting.
