Taylor's POV
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It's not sneaking around if the only reason I went out there was to calm him down. I asked him to walk back in ahead of me. Like way ahead of me. I can't have anybody thinking that we were just out here together.
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He just proposed to me.
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Ross George Peterson just proposed down on one knee in front of me. He's a hopeless romantic. Dreaming up days that we would spend sitting in book shops, me laying in his lap whilst he reads Austen and woo's me with tales of hopeless love.
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Regardless of my pregnant state he just proposed to me. He just asked me to be his forever. He just declared his intentions at the very last minute expecting me to rethink my whole entire future.
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But Lord did he shock me. Any woman that says she could look into those blue eyes, seeing him on his knees in front of her declaring undying love for her and not melt, is a liar. To say it has sent me into an emotional crisis is an understatement.
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The ring was; well the ring was Ross. Classic and timeless. Chic and stunning and I begin to think about the kind of woman that will wear that ring proudly on her finger for him one day. She will give him her all. Entirely. She will bear his babies; with fair hair and blue eyes.
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I wipe my eyes. Wishing I could just see the ring one more time. Wishing that I could just live the moment again, just once and then have it completely removed from my memories so that I never ever have to admit even to myself that I said no to that. I denied that happiness.
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I think of his tears, the way he looked at me as if everything was changing for him in that moment. How he meant it completely and the sincerity on his face. And how I said nothing.
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Completely stunned by the entire thing. It’s funny how when you are in a relationship with somebody. You genuinely imagine that things will progress into marriage and babies and even though it’s a shock when they do indeed propose or when you fall pregnant. It is still on the agenda, it’s within the plan. Or in your mind. I always knew that I wanted to marry Jay, spend my life with him and have babies.
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With Ross however I’ve never even imagined that as a possibility. I have never even considered that he wanted me in that way. And now I do, does that change anything ?
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I dry my eyes and tuck my hair behind my ears. I walk back through the gardens towards the house. Continually counting in my head to keep myself together.
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I head through the bi-fold doors into the kitchen. It’s a perfectly normal scene; Matty and Jay cooking breakfast. Rachel going on and on in Nate’s ear. Ross catches my eye and it’s different. He pushes at his blonde hair almost self consciously a small smile on his lips as he looks at me. He stares at my face, like he’s trying to search my soul for answers. I stand there watching him, imagining what he might be thinking.
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“Tay” Rachel says and she’s looking between me and Ross.
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“Yeah” I say looking at her finally.
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“Look” she says putting her arms out. I give her my attention.
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“My tan it’s better look” she laughs.
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I stare at her completely stunned still.
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“It does look really good” Ross agrees chiming in.
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“It looks nice” I manage.
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“Are you okay?” She asks.
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“Yes, just a bit queasy again” I say. I walk over to Jay who’s cooking up bacon.
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“I can’t, the meat smell” I say to him and he looks at me concerned. I stare into his eyes and he kisses my lips.
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“The meat for some reason today is a no” I say.
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“Hey, Matty can you just finish this up while I…” he says softly. While I deal with Taylor yet again I finish for him in my head.
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“Of course man” Matty says and he looks at me empathetically.
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I walk back out into the garden the heat hitting me again. I stand facing Jay and he pulls me in close.
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“Wanna call the doctors” he says as he cradles me in his arms. I don’t feel sick at all. I just want to be alone with him. All alone in his arms, reminding myself of what I have.
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“I feel better” I say head in his chest.
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“Good” he whispers his hands going through my hair and then rubbing my back.
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“You make me feel better” I tell him.
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He sighs and kisses my forehead.
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“You know I think the hen do and stag might be a bit too much” he says holding me.
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“I want to wear my dress” I say.
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“Do you think we can have it here” I say.
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“Yes I think it’s your hen do and you can call the shots” he smiles.
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He smiles down at me and I kiss him. Steel blue eyes meet mine when I break the kiss off. I gaze at his perfect face and blonde hair which has got lighter since we’ve been in the sun over the past couple of days. His muscles flex as he strokes my bare arms.
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“I love you” I tell him.
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“I love you” he says softly.
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I follow him back into the kitchen. Everybody is eating and I take a seat.
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“Don’t worry I’m not gonna throw up” I laugh. It’s an ice breaker. And everybody laughs.
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“Eat Jay” I encourage him. I’m not eating partly due to shock and partly because of general morning sickness.
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“I think going out may be a touch too far” I say mainly to Rach. She looks at me devastated.
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“We bring the party here” she smiles quickly.
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“Dress up and music” she encourages me. She doesn’t want emotional Taylor to burst into tears again.
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“Yes” I say softly.
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She eyes me. She’s questioning what’s going on and I need to pull it all together. But call it female intuition, she has cottoned onto something. Something is up and she won’t stop until she knows just what it is.
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