Taylor's POV
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf2xud9QrQe
As I gaze into the mirror I cannot help but to turn to the side just to see if I can notice any differences or anything at all physical that shows I am pregnant.
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZBTknuwWDs
I am.
I am pregnant. I tell myself over and over.
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡelOw2ckFsG
I place my hand over my tummy. Close my eyes and breathe. I'm elated, beyond belief. I just need to believe that this one will be fine. I speak to my little bump in my head. Words of reassurance and love.
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡifMDL1DBct
Opening my eyes I glance into the mirror and decide to reply to Matthew. I pull my phone from the side and open up his message. I begin typing sitting on the closed toilet seat.
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0X8RqsxvV2
Matthew,
I know you want this, there would have been a time when I would have seized every single chance I could to do this with you. To hold your hand and leave with you.
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡid8hDLwmfX
I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry I wasn't honourable and good to you during the fallout of our relationship. I understand now that I ran from you and left you to just deal on your own.
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNAeWAwWeVs
That was not fair.
I should have loved you more.
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibLBtjazTX
I know that you deserve more than that. More than me. So please seize this opportunity without me.
Taylor
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHHWJ4ZOzM
No kisses. Send.
I think that's fair. I place my phone back into Jays hoody that I'm wearing. I head out of the bathroom, cross the hall and enter our bedroom.
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFpbTIrQfT
When Jay makes love to me tonight it's all together a new experience. He remains on top looking into my eyes. He's hyper aware of the pregnancy and he makes a point of kissing my tummy afterwards.
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEmOPoC3Jw
With him as my big spoon, and his hands firmly around my waist I drift off to sleep. After all, hiking a mountain pregnant is an exhausting experience.
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz9UwhGJNPM
***
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLBYcAHX8X
"Taylor the baby it's" Jays voice is saying to me. Urgent tone of voice, commanding me to take this seriously. He never does that it must be something, I look down.
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhAz0OGl3X4
There's my bump and I sigh a large breath of relief. Perfect little bump. I keep it safe.
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrIMpsNIEND
I glance up at his expression, worry over shadowing his eyes. What is the problem ?
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3VWCWk3q5q
"Are you okay" he demands.
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg4mYb64wYZ
Am I okay? He's worrying me.
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPWoxudZfX0
"Do you feel anything? Are you okay ?" He repeats.
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTrG9uoSukT
I begin to cry, feeling a swirl of anticipation come over me. I feel hot, nervous.
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMANjWLwWfq
"I feel fine" I say.
"I..." I begin stuttering feeling a jolt near my tummy.
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5dpUZFoxa
I glance down in shock expecting it to just be the little baby moving and I notice stains all over my clothes.
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJubgJDwK8C
I feel a pain, sharp and searing.
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqH0eKh00pY
I connect all of the dots in my confused brain and realise I am not okay, bump is not okay and when I look up Jay is packing lots of things. Except where are we ?
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFw72v6K47
Not the lodge, not the lake house or even the new house. I push the thought away defiantly and attempt to make sense of what is happening.
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSAnkoJZ7Db
"We need to go now" Jay says bending down in front of me. I glance down at his hands and see a watch, but he doesn't wear one usually.
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xpve0oyyY
I check out his eyes for a second, usually full blue eyes of hope now replaced with worry and sadness. And an erratic sense of panic. Except the usual blue that I have come to expect when looking at him isn't there at all, his eyes are green. Forest green, almost brown.
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc6fnh2poIR
I blink expecting to find his familiar face and blue eyes looking back at me only when I open my eyes the first thing I notice is the brown curls and the green eyes looking back into my own.
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7vqzG9TsDn
"Matthew" I sigh and I am pulled from the scene.
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHgj9SDiDz
***
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGu47ufy8IY
It is still dark. I take a mental note of everything in the room that I recognise. The dresser, the log fire and the small window drawn with dark curtains. I am at the lodge.
Finally I glance down at the hands around me and recognise them to be Jays straight away. I snuggle into him breathing in and out. Calming myself.
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMMDyQV1f2
I feel him pull me in and I turn to face him.
"I need to pee" I say surprised by how urgent that need is.
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsU6l6P0LIS
He chuckles and I savour the sound of him.
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7SN0IRUWcS
I flee to the bathroom. I make it in time and pull my phone out.
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNhRIoukzzN
Matthew has messaged me back and I decide whether I want to sleep tonight or read his message. That nightmare was lucid and felt real.
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSFg1cZOsM2
I sigh and open it up.
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXw1WnN1P2T
Taylor, my future is about seizing these opportunities with you.
Those things are intertwined for me.
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIEceU9F7w
Your love was perfect, it is everything that I could ever want and desire.
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL2ryxkURx4
Matthew
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91K3Kglajf
I close the message and wash up. I need to make it up to him, I need to make it right between us before he does leave. I stumble back over to the bed and crawl in next to Jay.
101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGKtBcrSxJy
He shifts closer to me and I welcome his warmth and comfort. With his arms securely around me I drift into a dreamless sleep.
ns 15.158.61.46da2
