Mum links her arms around mine as we take to the marble staircase in our gowns. My dress does have a train and I hold it up lightly so that it doesn't get dirty. The ivory silk feels cool against my skin and I embrace the heat for once in Australia stepping out into the golden light of the sun. Looking down and seeing my tan shine and shimmer. We topped up our tans at the salon and both myself and Rachel look like bronze goddesses.
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I look up at the clear blue sky and feel the sea breeze on my skin. I begin to wonder where my chariot will take me. Hoping and praying that it is somewhere near the sea.
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"I wonder where we're going" mum smiles just as excited as I am for the surprise.
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I follow Rachel's eye line and see amazement etched on her face. She is gazing at a chariot pulled along by white horses approaching us. It's classic and it's beautiful. You can hear the horses trotting in the distance and my heart thuds, how Jay thinks up these things is beyond me.
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Jay wouldn't just pick a car. He would have to pick something so extravagant it's almost absurd. I love it. I patiently await my chariot determined to enjoy living in my own fairytale for the whole day.
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"A chariot" mum smiles looking over at me.
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There's a seperate bench for the driver and passengers. We take a seat in the back and the driver begins guiding the horses to our destination. They are beautiful animals, they look pristine. I smile watching the world go by as I'm transported to my wedding ceremony. Of which I have no idea where it might be. The only sure thing I know is that everybody I love and care about will be there and most importantly that Jay the father of my baby is there waiting for me.
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The breeze is welcome and as I catch a first glimpse of the sea I smile looking at mum just like I did when I was six or seven and we would go to the beach. It's not a tourist beach though like the ones I'm used to, this particular sun trap feels rural and more island like. Jay is great with locations.
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I doubted that the horses would trot along the sand too, however we are currently being escorted across the empty beach front. It's serene the water swishes to the shore and the sun shimmers on top of the waves.
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"Taylor" Mum smiles.
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"I've never been to Australia. But this is something else" she smiles.
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"It's wonderful isn't it" I say and I have to agree with her.
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"Matty is asking where we are" Rachel laughs.
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"Perhaps he thinks we've got cold feet" she laughs.
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I smile.
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"Ask him where they are!?" I laugh.
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"I'm joking just tell him we're on route to wherever they might be" I smile.
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"Thankyou Taylor" she says randomly and I turn to look at her.
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"For asking me to be your maid of honour" she smiles.
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"Of course bestie, I'm sure you'll do the same for me" I smile at her.
She smiles at me blissfully.
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"Oh look" Mum says looking out into the distance.
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My tummy flips and I get excited looking out for my Jay. You couldn't miss it. An arch made up of flowers facing the water with rows of ornate chairs and an aisle. White flowers, tulips lining the sides. And I laugh remembering Jay explaining that there was a world shortage of white tulips- didn't stop him though did it?
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I think about how he proposed to me on a beach in Sydney. That beach was beautiful, no doubt about it, but looking out at the ocean here. Seeing how this isn't built up and isn't full of tourists it feels more remote. Exclusive and special. It's just so Jay to hire a whole beach for the entirety of the day.
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I smile to myself unable to wait to see him. I just want to stare at him in his suit, gaze at him and his beautiful eyes. The chariot stops allowing mum out first. There's a moment between mum and dad as he takes her hand to help her out from the chariot and onto the raised platform. I giggle looking at my father in his suit and he smiles at me.
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I can see Ross and Nate behind him and I gulp looking at their smart formal suits. Rachel eyes Nate and Ross, they do look wonderful. She smiles at Nate before turning to me.
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"This is it, are you ready?" Rachel whispers to me.
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I wipe my eyes.
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"I'm ready" I whisper.
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"You look phenomenal. I love you bestie" she says.
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"I love you bestie" I chuckle trying not to cry.
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Rach climbs out of the chariot, hand in hand with Nate. I suck in a deep breath of air, exhale. I will not fall over in my stilettos. I have got this.
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I climb out of my chariot into the beating sun, happy that I picked a backless, strapless dress. I stand slowly and its like time freezes.
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My dad just to my side his hand out stretched ready to walk me down the aisle, looking at me awestruck. My mother next to him gazing at me with pride holding back tears. And then there is Ross. Directly in front of me. I look into his eyes, a single tear drops. He smiles at me, eyes travelling down my dress before looking all the way back up to my eyes. He is gobsmacked. It almost reminds me of the time he saw me at the lingerie catwalk show, almost. Now though he looks at me as though his world is walking away from him. I want to throw my arms around him. He has this effect on me, where I want to make everything better. Where I want to console him all of the time. Make him feel loved.
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Music begins and time ticks again, I smile at the string quartet that Jay has hired. A classical piece of music echoes over this little pocket of paradise.
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My dad takes my arm and wraps it around his. Mum and Ross head in together, she takes his hand and I smile at her. She is intuitive, she knows exactly what our little moment was all about. She takes him with her and walks him to the front. I watch him go, wishing I could just take away all of the pain I've caused him. Wishing that I could hold him one more time.
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Rachel and Nate walk first up the aisle and I get heady about the idea of her and Nate getting married. They look wonderful, arms linked around one another. Rachel's blonde hair falling down her back and his tall frame and broad shoulders.
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"Taylor" my dad whispers.
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"You look wonderful, are you ready" he says.
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"I am, I feel giddy. Just make sure I make it in one piece" I laugh.
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"I will" he smiles and we begin to walk up the aisle together. As soon as I head through the first arch of flowers I can see all of the chairs filled with people that we both know and love. Vines and flowers intertwined throughout the chairs, petals leading up to the altar. I chuckle, there are so many tulips in here no wonder the world is short on them. I can hear the violins and the swish of the calm sea before me. A gentle breeze taking off the edge of the heat.
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I look over the people, spotting Rhea and Malachi first. Rhea is wearing a bright orange gown which highlights and complements her olive complexion. She beams at me, mouthing the words you look beautiful and then she cries. It's enough to send me over the edge, but I hold it together. No crying just yet.
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I spot mum, staring at my dad with absolute shock and amazement. Ross next to her, she's holding his hand. He needs the emotional support. He looks at me, with pride, with love. Love so strong, I could drown in its intensity. I know how this must feel for him, I truly understand what we could have had. I choose to look away because I will cry.
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As we head closer to the front, I haven't looked at Jay yet because it will end me, and my composure. I see Claire and Andrew Gilbert Scott. Claire wipes her eyes, she's already been crying. Jay must look breathtaking. Claire looks at me, approves of my wedding gown and it sends her into an emotional wreck. Andrew forever composed holds onto her arm and smiles at me. He's wearing a very light grey suit. Claire is wearing a designer pale pink suit dress.
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I decide now is the time to look ahead. The first love of my life, Matthew James Henderson, stands looking at me in what can only be described as amazement. He smiles and I smile back at him. He looks handsome in this suit and pale blue shirt. His brunette hair tousled and his green eyes shining. Happy tears fall down his cheeks as he watches me.
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Now to address the love of my life. I look from Matty, the best man, to Jay Gilbert Scott, my husband. The groom, and I smile, what a wonderful man he is. My tummy somersaults and I cry tears. His usual self composed composure has been dashed. He's emotional, a tear escapes from his eyes as he looks at me. Nobody else exists in this room, his eyes travel down my dress and he smiles his approval. I want his hands on me, his lips on my own.
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His eyes meet mine and I need him. Jay Gilbert Scott in a suit is superior, his blonde hair is smoothed back and his tan face and piercing blue eyes pull me in. His suit is pale grey matching with his groomsman, and his shirt an icy blue matching with his eyes. I've never ever seen him look so wonderful, and Ive been floored by him in a suit many times before. My Jay, I'm going to make him all mine today. Finally, as we reach the end of the aisle Rachel and Nate go to sit by Ross and my mum. Just behind me at the front.
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My father kisses me on the cheek before handing me over to the love of my life. Jay takes me in his arms and it's the first time in the last twenty minutes that I've felt able to breathe. His touch soothes me yet ignites a passion inside of me simultaneously.
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"Mrs Gilbert Scott" he whispers as my father takes a seat. I can see Matty tearing up in my peripheral vision.
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"You look absolutely breathtaking" he whispers in my ear.
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"Mr Gilbert Scott" I whisper.
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"I love you and this is perfect" I smile.
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"A chariot?" I smile.
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His lips curve into a brilliant smile and he laughs.
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"You deserve more than just a fancy car. You're out of this world, so is a chariot" he laughs.
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I brush his lips with my own and he smiles. He wipes my tears delicately away from my face.
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"Jay, I can't believe I get to have you" I say softly.
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"Taylor I can't believe I get to keep you forever" he smiles.
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He quickly embraces me his hand lingering on bump just ever so slightly and I smile as he guides me over to the altar.
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He holds onto my hands in his own and we face each other before the priest. Matty stands just behind him to the side and I catch his eye just momentarily. This is a big deal for him. I'm marrying his best friend. He cares so much about the both of us. And maybe we have history, but still through his dedication to my happiness, his ability to put his feelings to the side, I just know that he will be in my life forever.
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I look into Jay's eyes as the priest begins talking. I can't hear a word that he's saying, I'm lost in Jay and his icy blue eyes. I love you I mouth to him, he smiles and mouths I adore you back. He winks at me and I need it to be just us. Our wedding night, wrapped in his arms and locked to his lips.
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As the waves lap to the shore the priest asks me if I take this man to be my lawfully wedded husband. I smile looking into his eyes.
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"I do" I say and I've never been more sure of anything in my whole life.
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I can see him exhale a sigh of relief, his eyes water just slightly and I can feel the moisture collecting in my own.
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"Do you Jay Gilbert Scott take this woman, with the promise to care for her and nurture her through sickness and in health as your lawfully wedded wife" the priest says and I hold my breath.
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"I do" he says watching me, his eyes looking deep into mine. He will not take his eyes off of me. And I am happy to bathe in his adoration.
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"The rings" the priest says.
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That's Matthews queue and he hands the rings to Jay. He's the only one we could completely trust with not losing them. Plus it's more than that, it is Matthew. I trust him with my life.
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I place the wedding band on Jays finger. I love his hands, I glance at the tattoo of my initials and smile.
He takes my hand in his and holds it delicately.
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"I will love you forever; I promise you that" he smiles as he places my wedding band on.
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"I will keep us safe, and provide for us forever" he says as he places my engagement ring on top.
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"I now pronounce you man and wife" the priest smiles.
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Jay kisses me with utter passion. I had thought he had been giving me his all before, but this kiss is him giving me the rest. His whole life and more. The kiss lasts and when I finally break away I look straight into his eyes and whisper I love you.
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He puts his lips to my ear.
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"I love you Mrs Gilbert Scott, my wife" he says kissing my ear lightly.
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I know that everybody is standing and clapping. I can hear Jays mum crying from here.
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"My husband" I whisper.
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He looks at me and assesses.
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He goes in for another kiss and I welcome it. We kiss again and I savour the feel of him. His mouth, my hands on his back and how he whispers I love you between kisses. I can hear the clapping and I smirk at him.
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"Now" he smiles looking down at me.
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"My wife, we are going on a cruise boat, with views over the sea." He looks up at the water smiling.
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"Right now" I say excited.
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"For our wedding party we are hopping on a private cruise boat" he laughs.
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"And dancing the night away over the sea" he smiles and the excitement I feel overwhelms me.
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"I know you're going to be like a COO but have you ever considered wedding planning" I laugh.
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He chuckles, as we turn to face Matty.
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"Dancing over the sea, chariots and tulips" I smile.
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"Taylor you look incredible" Matty says.
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"Thank you" I smile and he's speechless.
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"Thank you Matthew" Jay says to him; and the weight of that thank you is heavy. He's saying thankyou for everything not just for being the ring bearer and the best man. It's a thank you because besides being rivals, they are best friends and they have pushed aside their rivalry for me.
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“We did it” I whisper to Jay as we walk back down the aisle.
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“We did it” he smiles stroking my hands.
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“You’re my wife” he says holding onto me.
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“And you’re my husband” I say kissing him again.
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“All mine” he whispers and I smirk.
