"You're good at making fires" I say laughing. Jay looks over to me, top still off and I swoon.
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"I am aren't I?" he laughs, he's also cooking us steak.
The TV is on and I've selected a movie. It's a horror. Jay joked that only I could pick a horror whilst staying at a reclusive lodge in the middle of nowhere.
He did check the blurb and there were no mentions of break ins or themes of sexual assault. I watched him intently reading the themes of the plot and couldn't help but feel incredibly lucky to have him.
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"We having fries with our steaks?" I ask laughing. Jays steak dinners are usually just steak. No garnish, no fries.
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"Yea and even a salad so shhh" he smiles. He dashes to the kitchen which is an impressive size for a lodge and he plates up the dinner. I pull on my silk shorts and his T-shirt. It's mine now, it's comfy and it smells like him.
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The kitchen offers a rustic feel and instantly makes you feel at home. I sit at the large oak table and Jay comes over with the steak. He is all charm tonight, he winks at me as he sets it down. I imagine him ruffling the hair of our children when he serves them their dinners. I smile at the thought.
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"What are you smiling at" he chuckles.
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"You are going to be a great daddy" I say chuckling.
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He laughs out loud placing his fork and knife down.
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"And you Taylor will be an amazing Mummy." He says smiling at me
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"This is going to happen for us. I just know it." He smiles glancing in my eyes.
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"We need to marry" I say suddenly panicking about being pregnant in a big white puffy wedding dress.
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"We could do it now" I say impulsively and he stares up at me, a bemused smile on his face.
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"Well not right here right now you know what I mean" I say.
"We could do low key." I offer.
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"Low key?" He asks.
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"Yes we can have a low stress ceremony. Nearest and dearest. All that matters to me is that we're married Jay. Committed" I say.
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"I want you to have everything" he says simply.
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"Yes that would be everything to me. Because I would be with you. Forever" I counter smiling. I leave my food and climb onto his lap. He laughs smiling at me.
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"Taylor." He whispers.
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"Yes Jay" I whisper back
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"What do you really really want" he asks winking at me again.
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"You to myself all of the time" I chuckle and kiss him.
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"Thank you for bringing me here" I say looking around the kitchen, the wood rafters and the homely feel. The back door leading out to a decking surrounded by trees and wildflowers. The moon shining in the distance.
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"I love you and I wanted to make things better" he says smiling.
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"My mum needed" he begins and clears his throat.
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I wait patiently.
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"My mum went through several hard miscarriages. We all felt them. I remember the days after them, filled with pain and sadness and eventually nothing. Her look of distance and grief. We came to places just like this one." He says and looks up at me.
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"I would do anything, for the people I care about" he says simply. I wipe tears away from my eyes and smile.
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He holds onto me closely, and honestly I've never felt this sort of love before. One that encompasses all of the passion and excitement of our intimacy and that reaches far past that. The care he has for me astounds me, the way he does everything possible to make sure that I am happy.
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"Tomorrow" he says looking into my eyes
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"We will drive to the nearest high end jewellery place and buy our wedding bands, and then we can get married" he smiles.
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"We can marry within the month" He glances down at my tummy, like he just cannot help himself.
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"You with a little bump" he smiles rubbing my tummy.
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"I could already be" I say smiling.
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He pulls my plate over towards us and forks up some steak. He feeds me.
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"I did notice that you cooked it well done" I smile and wink at him.
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"I figure should you be pregnant it would be early days and red meat" he says.
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"You think of everything" I say smiling.
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After dinner we sit on the porch at the back of the lodge. There are outdoor heaters and it's worth it for the fresh air and the views. I rest my head on him. Listening to the crickets and the distant water of the lake.
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He strokes my waist and I smile.
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"My Taylor" he whispers and I smile.
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He grabs his phone and unlocks it to a wallpaper of us in Sydney. Just after we got our tattoos done, a wide smile on my face. He hits up google and searches for jewellery places. I watch him silently, checking out the routes to the places and I snuggle into him.
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Then he does something I've never witnessed him do ever. He starts off by humming, the tunes to a couple country songs. And after sometime he's singing softly. A low raspy voice that is just pure gold. His arms around me comforting me and soon I fall asleep to him singing some Johnny cash. Briefly feeling his arms cradle me and deposit me down onto a comfortable bed of which he climbs in next to me.
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