Jays POV
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I've set up a fire, Taylor is a great stick collector. When we arrived she opened up her little bag and a whole forest of sticks came tumbling out.
The fire is roaring and like most campsites there's a little wall around it to protect it from the wind and also to not attract too many wild visitors.
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I am armed. I haven't told Taylor. But I am just in case. For any eventuality be it a big bear or a mountain lion. The camp site is already partially set up, however I assemble the tent keeping the sleeping bag rolled for now until we get in it. There's a large water pump on site and I have collected water for all of our needs.
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And now I'm cooking us dinner over the fire. Taylor has been playing her guitar and singing, and I don't think I have ever heard anything more enchanting in my life. Something about hearing her voice echo over the mountains is pure magic. At the moment she's covering knocking on heavens door.
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As the food is cooking I check my phone. Several new messages from dad. Taking a seat next to Taylor I take a look at his messages.
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Good job son, I assume you both needed a getaway. Please send details of the lodge for insurance purposes.
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I'm all together taken aback. I believed I would receive a grilling. I read on.
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Do you remember when we hiked and you saw that mountain lion? Your face was a picture. J keep safe and hope you enjoy your time there, make sure Taylor is kept safe too. Dad.
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I chuckle a little remembering him grabbing me pretty much by the collar as I was running ahead like he had told me not to do when we came across a large mountain lion. Mum had screamed and I had apparently squared up to the lion like a silly boy. We were all unharmed.
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I go over to check the meat. It's browning nicely and will taste great. It's cheating to buy stuff from the shop. But somehow I wasn't up for being a hunter and gatherer too today.
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A few songs later and were eating around the campfire.
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"Thanks Jay" she says smiling up at me
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"This is the best camping experience ever." She says with a shine in her eyes.
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"Thank you Taylor for being here with me" I say.
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"My dad messaged back" I blurt out.
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"He's just happy for us" I say bizarrely.
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"Of course he is" she laughs as if that's the most obvious thing in the world.
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"I think in all of his ways he just means for you to be happy Jay" she says.
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I smile at her and grab two beers. I open hers and she takes a sip.
"It's not quite cocktails" I say wishing I got her something she likes more.
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"It's perfect" she turns to me.
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She kisses me softly and then looks up cheekily.
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"One kiss under the stars" she smiles.
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"My debt is repaid" she says laughing.
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"You're adorable" I tell her.
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We finish off our food and I lean back stretching out, the fire keeping my chest warm. I gaze up at the stars and thank each one for giving me this life with her.
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"Jay I brought my letter with me" she says out of the blue laying next to me.
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I turn to face her and eye her curiously.
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"I bring my dads letter almost everywhere but now I want to open it" she says clarifying.
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She retrieves a letter from her bag, I can't help but to watch her bare legs walk around the fire as I'm laying down.
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Coming to lay back down next to me she begins opening his letter.
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I'm watching her face for every indication of what he might have written down. Inevitable tears fall down her pink cheeks and I beat the urge down to grab his letter and chuck it into the fire. Why wasn't he there for her ? What was so bad that he had to leave ? She's the most perfect person ever and it kills me to see her beating herself up like it's her fault.
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Eventually she looks up at me and I see understanding and relief in her eyes.
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"He left because" she begins sobbing and then hands me the letter.
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I take a look. I'm disgusted that he could make her cry.
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I give it a read, his writing is much like hers.
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Taylor,
I'll start with an apology because it's important to me that you know that I am truly sorry. I don't expect that to change everything. But I must say it.
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The decision I made when you were little was one I very much thought about for a long long time before I came to the conclusion that I should leave.
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It is entirely my fault. I was the problem.
I was very much dependent on alcohol, that was a sort of stepping stone for me into other areas of addiction. I felt that I would have been detrimental to your quality of life. At that time it was important for me to get clean and be away from you all.
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I have done that.
I am clean and sober (2 years and 4 months)
It has been a stop and start journey for me of relapsing and having to start over.
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It's important that you know this because I would not ever ever want you to feel like you are the problem. Because that is not the case. I am. I have managed to fix that problem for myself and for you, my daughter.
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I will enclose contact details should you wish to use them but I understand if not. And an up to date picture,
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Dad x
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That's unexpected is my first thought. It's one of those scenarios where really he did the right thing given the situation yet it still hurt everybody around him.
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I put my arms around her and hold her into me. Now mine to protect.
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"It's okay" I say. Softly stroking her arms.
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