Ross POV
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It's like she's become the centre of my entire universe. I'm struggling; do I look at her, refuse to look at her. I end up staring. And she's worried and I just want her to throw her arms around me so I can breathe in her scent.
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It's the hormones, I tell myself. She's emitting some kind of love theramone and I'm just addicted. I look over at her driving imagining a world where we drive around together holding hands and kissing each other in coffee shops and book stores.
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Rachel is talking in the back and I glance in the mirror. They're busy and paying attention to each other. Her voice annoys me, even though we've had sex twice. I look at Taylor again. Her legs, her thighs remembering how good it feels to have my tongue between those thighs. Her hand is rested on the top of her thigh as she drives one handed. I reach over and hold it. I squeeze it lightly and she looks up at me briefly, I smile.
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She holds onto my hand briefly and then moves it away to turn the wheel. I glance in the mirror again and they have no idea that I'm making moves on her. I rest my hand on her thigh casually and she breathes in sharply looking ahead.
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I know that she loves me, because she told me and because she finds it so impossible to put up physical boundaries between us. I glance in the interior
mirror again and meet her eyes. She's checking too. I smile as Rachel is busy chewing Nate's ear off, he's listening bless him.
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I keep my hand on her thigh, lean into her.
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"I need to talk to you alone" I whisper.
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"I know" she whispers back and I rub her thigh. I won't give her anymore physical attention. Not until I've spoke to her and so I breathe in the smell of her shampoo lightly kissing her neck before dragging myself away from her entirely. Removing my hand and casually looking out of the window.
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She looks at me briefly and I stare ahead out of the windshield. She continues driving and I know she wants me physically at least. It's in her body language; she moves her hair to the other side of her shoulder exposing her neck to me. She shifts in her chair and her dress hikes up her thighs. She rests her hand down on her thigh again.
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I glance in the interior mirror. Rachel is kissing Nate. I get all kinds of flashbacks of them having sex and then me having sex and I feel briefly uncomfortable. What a mess. I look at Taylor's hand, move it completely off of her thigh and stroke up her legs with my own hand. I glance in the mirror again. All clear.
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I hold onto her. Lean into her and whisper. So much for no more physical contact.
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"Taylor" I whisper softly and she glances in the mirror. I stroke all the way back down her inner thighs and move away from her again. It's driving me insane.
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I haven't had penetrative sex with Taylor since she lived with me briefly years ago. Before Jay. But I remember it; her hips on me.
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She pulls up at the tanning place and gets out.
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"Okay guys, just go in give your name in and then I'll meet you back here when you're done" she says in a rush.
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"You're not coming" Rachel asks and I want to pull Taylor away now.
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"No I'm taking Ross for coffee" she smiles.
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"He is suffering the worst hangover" she says and I nod.
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"Have a facial" she smiles and walks off. I laugh and follow her leaving Nate and Rachel looking slightly stunned.
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She is enigmatic, in all honestly I don’t know whether she’s going to hit me for coming onto her just days before her wedding. Or whether she’s going to kiss me. It’s a gamble.
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She slows her walking down and I catch up. She faces me, people filtering past us. Rachel and Nate are long gone and for once I’m truly alone with her.
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“What are you doing?” She asks.
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I look at her and she melts. I stroke her hair back and she watches me.
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“I am not going with Matty to London” I say.
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“I am staying where you are” I say, I just haven’t told Matty that yet.
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She looks at me incredulously. Takes my hand and walks with me to a coffee shop. I hold her hand not letting her go. Even in the queue. We find a table and she sips her smoothie.
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“Did you hear something this morning” she asks me and I flush bright red. Push my hair back and sigh. I heard it all. Believe me I was trying not to. Her voice, and her laugh, her moaning when I’m already hard is impossible.
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“Did I hear you and Jay” I ask, look at her face I tell myself. Not her chest anywhere but there.
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“Yes” I say and she flushes bright red.
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“I tried not to listen” I say.
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“Sorry about that” she says awkwardly.
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“I’m going through a whole lot of emotions and hormones. And I’m finding it hard to navigate them. Especially when you touch me like that in my car” she says looking down at her boobs.
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I look at them. I can’t help myself. She catches my eyes, glancing up at me and I smirk. Resting my arms around her shoulders.
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“I know I’m sorry” I say.
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“Just you and I have this thing” I say and she stares up at me.
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“Where I want to literally kiss the whole of your entire body. Because I fucking love you” I say meeting her eyes.
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I nuzzle my face into her neck and chest and she sighs.
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“And you are caught between being in love with me and marrying Jay” I say.
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“I’m marrying him next week, I’m having his babies. I love him” she tells me and that’s all stuff that I already know.
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“I can’t do this with you anymore, because you deserve somebody that can give you all of themselves” she says.
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“That’s where we differ. I am going to be here even when you’re married” I say. Don’t leave me I’m in love with you.
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She sighs and begins to cry. She rests her head in her hands. I lift her chin to mine and look at her.
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“Don’t cry” I say softly.
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“Ross you’re amazing. Can you please just realise that? Like you deserve somebody who is just as amazing and beautiful as you” she says and I can’t help it, I kiss her. It’s not right but it feels perfect.
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She pulls away first. And I know I’ve overstepped it.
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“Please” she says and she hugs me.
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“I love you” I tell her.
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“You don’t have to say anything, I already know it” I whisper.
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She kisses my lips softly taking me by surprise. She pulls away and I just stare into her eyes, feeling dizzy by the love I feel for her. She looks at me for a moment longer.
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“What about Rachel” she chuckles.
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I laugh out loud.
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“What” she smiles.
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“You two had a moment” she laughs.
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“I love you” I reply and she watches me. She rests her head in my shoulders and I’m content leaving our little conversation there. That way she doesn’t leave me or make any silly decisions. Where I no longer have a place in her life. And she doesn’t try to palm Rachel off onto me. We sit quietly, my arms around her waist and her head in my chest.
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“Always” she whispers facing away from me. I squeeze her slightly holding onto her.
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“I’ll always have these feelings for you” she sighs looking out of the window. I cherish the time we spend alone together, I get to hold her. Just to be with her after thinking about her continuously for months and not being able to touch her. I kiss the top of her head and sip my coffee. It’s in these moments she’s mine. My Taylor. Not somebody I’m borrowing from somebody else. They don’t exist when I’m with her.
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