"Here" I say placing the mug down on the side hoping that the smell of the coffee will wake him.
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I sit on the side of the bed, jostle his arm lightly. He opens his eyes and smiles taking me in.
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"I brought you some food" I smile.
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"Good morning" he says eyes on me. He sits up and pushes his hair back tucking the cover in over his abs. I pass him the plate and he begins eating right away.
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I face the wall as he eats.
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"Thank you" I say softly.
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"For sitting up with me all night long" I say and I turn to look at him. All of my courage and bravery seeps out of me and my eyes water again.
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"Taylor" he whispers.
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"No I don't want to talk about it, I just wanted to say thank you for being there for me" I say softly.
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"It means a lot" I say.
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"I understand. Anytime" he says.
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"And thank you for the breakfast in bed" he says.
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"I will miss you Matty" I say under my breath. I shouldn't say it at all really. But I will miss him.
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"I will miss you" he sighs putting his fork down.
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"Do you think you'll live abroad" I say and it's none of my business.
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"I haven't really thought about it. Kim is moving to Canada. My mum will always be here" he says.
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"Canada wow" I say.
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"Yes something to do with Kurt" he explains. Kurt is her other half.
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"I will always be here for you" he says.
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"I know" I say feeling more and more like this is goodbye.
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"I'm gonna go shower" I say looking away from him.
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I stand up and head to the en-suite.
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"Taylor" he says and I glance over at him lying on the bed shirtless.
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"No matter who it is, or what it is or whatever the problem I will always be here for you to protect you from it." He says and I nod at him and before I cry again I head into the en suite.
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I pull off the shirt I'm wearing yearning for the hot water to wash everything away. I stand under the running water, alone and I cry. Sobbing and hoping that the noise of the shower will cover me.
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I wash extensively, scrubbing my skin. And when I'm eventually done I moisturise and slap on some makeup. I come out in my towel pulling my hair down around me and half expecting Matty to be up and gone by now.
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"Sorry" I say slightly awkwardly.
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I grab my pale blue dress and pull it up underneath my towel. I turn around, away from him and clip a bra on, pulling my dress up all the way.
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He stands up putting his phone down, in just his shorts. It's obvious from the bulge in his pants that he is pretty turned on by my inadvertent show. I look away and dry my hair out with the towel.
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He brushes past me, and heads into the en-suite himself. I pack all of my washing away intending to take it all to the main house. I fold Jays shirt. And then I come across my red bikini. My ripped red bikini.
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I examine it, deciding it’s seen its first and last day of wear.
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“You okay” Matty says and I didn’t realise he was back.
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“It’s all ripped” I say.
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He removes the shock off of his face, and I stare at him. He sighs brushes his hair back and sits down next to me.
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“Do you wanna talk about it now” he asks.
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I nod.
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“I was trying to help, he lost his ex in a tragic way. She was pregnant. He asked me to be there for him. I said I am. But then he grabbed me, his arms around me holding my hands down by my side” I say and I shake.
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“I started pushing him and shoving. I couldn’t shake him. He held me in place. Forcing his tongue in my mouth. I said no, he grabbed my bikini bottoms and that’s when they must have ripped. I fell to the floor. But he kept on and he told me I’d had sex with Rachel in front of him so why couldn’t he…” I say and I’m crying.
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Matty looks appalled. He puts his arm around my shoulders. Hugs me into him.
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“You’re so brave, and so strong” he says softly.
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“Do you know that” he says.
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“Take it Jay has dealt with it” he asks.
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“He came in this morning. He walked around in the rain all night, with him. He said some crazy stuff like he had to do something about it otherwise he’d kill him. And I believe him Matty. He would kill him with his bare hands. But he said he would leave it for me” I say.
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He nods rubbing my back.
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“You are safe. Taylor. We should have never ever let you walk off with him alone. Won’t ever happen again. Believe me. I will not leave you.” He says softly.
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“But” I protest.
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“I’ll defer for another academic year. London can wait for me” he says and he’s resolute. He is sure and right as rain about it but I’m worried.
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“No, no” I say stuttering. He cannot surely for me?
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“Do not do that for me. I do not deserve that” I tell him.
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“You do” he says and he looks up into my eyes.
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“Keep it between me and you for now. Not even Ross” he says and he stands. He gives me a hand up in my pale blue dress. Squeezes my hand lightly. He grasps the door handle and stops.
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“You are worth the world Taylor” he says. Then he opens the door and we walk out together.
ns 15.158.61.20da2
