Meeting up with your dad again in your early twenties, is weird. No getting around it; this relationship should be different. I should know him, he should have watched me grow. Watched me attend my first dance show, helped me through my exams. That kind of stuff.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVqP7lW54v
I shake off my negative thoughts and focus on the here and now. I'm walking to a small Italian that I know; Jay is in the big 8 down the road. Probably sipping whiskey waiting on my text.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1RTZpHzbG
It's hot as hell today and I'm wearing a little cami dress and sandals, it's yellow. My hair is out loose and now reaches down to my waist. I've got a small purse for my phone and keys. And for a wedding invitation, more on that later.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS96SHXuaVm
I walk confidently up to the double doors of the small Italian, its red brick work and ornate tables and chairs outside make me smile. Opening the door, I'm a little early, I did want to get here first to take a seat and a few deep breaths before seeing him.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡatMg5G2B8U
The small Italian lady greets me as I enter. She has long dark hair and tan skin. Her warm smile radiates and makes me smile back at her.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZ9CBLr6Z7
"Hello Miss" she smiles remembering me and I give her a genuine smile back.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5RV4aUHm9
I can already see my dad. He hasn't noticed me just yet, which is a relief. His brunette hair, the same shade as my own is wavy and thick like mine too. He's wearing a shirt and tie. A coffee in front of him which he's looking into deeply for answers.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqcQI7ia8P
"Hello I already have a table" I say softly.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5500PsEaCj
I notice him look up, his expression at first unreadable, but then a mixture of shock and pride. He smiles at me, and I half expect him to say that's my girl and for me to run up to him like I used too. However that does not happen.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIgMNDR3rJ
Instead I walk over to my dad, he's ordered me an orange juice and a coffee and I laugh. I sit down looking into eyes that are the same as my own.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNaBxkVuD9W
"I didn't know whether you would want orange juice or coffee" he chuckles and I laugh again.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNitAsSMVR
"Hey dad" I say and he smiles.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xXSy11Yag
"Taylor" he says.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fep37Rxdq
"How are you" he asks and I can tell he genuinely wants to know.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiiovVeEt9c
"Dad I'm good how are you" I say and he wipes his eyes. Not what I had imagined his response would be.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1APqNjK2z3
"Sorry Taylor I'm just happy to see you again" he says and he wipes tears away like he used to when I would fall over and scrape my knee.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU1StR06g8d
"Me too" I say and I'm lost for words.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwpeNoYjel
"Before anything, I would just like to say thankyou for reading my letter and for agreeing to meet up. I am truly sorry for the absence I have had in your life, missed you growing up and so many other things that a dad should have been there for" he says and I just listen.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLCCsobVSs
"It's inexcusable, I as a parent should have found a better resolution." He says.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeEskXnxXUJ
"I understand" I say
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSxslKVvUi
"It's truly unforgivable, but I would like you to know that and it's not much but" he says sighing and retrieving documents from his bag.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7E6xXfQVJQ
"This isn't me trying to make amends, with money. However it is important to me that you receive this because I was not there to support you, buy your first ballet shoes or pay for your clothes. So please accept it as almost like reimbursement. And my amends comes from my continued support and presence in your life now" he says handing me a bank account overview.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUh3GUV2TX
"It's in your name and I contributed to it every month." He says as I open the slip.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtAKMvuUxo
"Dad this is like tens of thousands of pounds" I say shocked.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyrUnRH2hhf
"That's yours" he says.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxG7N441VKU
"And like I say that's not me just throwing money at this situation, I intend on making things up to you by being an actual father" he says.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOIJ4nPWajq
I place the slip down, folded. The waiter arrives to take our orders. I order the lasagne as it's delicious, and another orange juice. Dad orders Spaghetti Bolognase and another coffee.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe4Pq8MVb5u
"So tell me" he begins.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiozTo6RiE5
"What are you studying" he asks softly.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpG1jmIHKJB
"I'm studying dance and psychology, I also recently joined as principal of a dance company" I say and he beams at me.
Do I mention that I'm pregnant ? Now or later ? Best to mention Jay first I decide.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwGIy5WWuZU
"I'm also actually, well this may be a bit of a shock" I say.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3W0CpfgTd
"I'm engaged dad, and I'm getting married next week" I say and pull out an invitation.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYVN1sBUjSx
"I saw the ring" he says smiling.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8AcwIUtqXz
He opens up the invitation and reads it.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdtUBRoJpg3
"Australia" he says.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUzC7x9iMZ
"I'll be there" he says smiling.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2aUbNnzSMO
"What's he like then" he asks me.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lcvWobgXt
"Jay; he's amazing" I say and I grab my phone and show him the picture of us that's on my wallpaper.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnc1txRU9u
"Wow" he says.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrwp4qLu4BU
"He's a looker" he laughs and I laugh with him. Jay is model level in appearance.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qI9WUQhU9
"Taylor I'm so happy for you" he says softly.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOX6l81jMix
Our mains arrive and we begin eating. The food is delicious. I let him process for a little bit first, before I drop the baby bomb. I don't know how he's going to react.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhAANq9ZHqb
"So yeah we're getting married. We live together and dad don't freak" I say and I smile at him after we've almost finished our mains.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44F40G1bnr
"But I'm pregnant" I say and pure shock comes over his face.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpJts6rorX
He cries placing his cutlery down.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtQlMOrc6G
"Taylor you're full of surprises aren't you, my god" he says standing and he embraces me fully. And it doesn't feel weird, in fact it feels just like how he used to hug me when I was a little girl.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCh6NFkIhB
We sit back down and he wipes his eyes. I notice when he rolls his sleeves up that he has a few tattoos too.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVfkhUB5BLX
"Have you got a scan picture" he says and I don't remember him being this emotional. He grasps my hands and I can tell he's genuinely happy for me.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAzHFSc13KK
I pull out the small scan picture from my purse and hand it to him. He holds it like it's pure treasure.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJpJDn4x0p
"We're pretty sure it's a boy, although we don't know for sure" I say.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8TRyfnMoe
"I gotta tell you that looks like a boy to me" he laughs.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdaoD9iJms
“I know, Jay had thought it would be a girl until we went for the scan” I say.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCTO2n5ki0J
Dad smiles and places the scan picture down. My phone buzzes and I pick it up, knowing I will hear Jays voice on the other end.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6teAoaZFhu
“Yes we’re just about ready actually” I say after greeting him.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUXYsgKrMhf
He can tell by my cheery tone that the meeting has gone well and he agrees to meet me outside. Dad pays and we walk out together, I let him keep the extra scan picture.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡruxwKK5oAt
Stepping out onto the busy town road I scan for Jay. It doesn’t take me long to spot him approaching us. He stands out because he is well, him. Handsome and staggeringly beautiful.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxd3kidGq5R
He walks directly up to us shakes my father’s hand and greets him like a gentlemen would. I smile looking down.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTtJcpSIYT
“Well Taylor you really are your father’s child” he laughs.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkWBUVxCmez
“The resemblance is uncanny” he says.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJI9EFdinA
“I know” I laugh.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiiuD8YGchi
“Congratulations both of you” Dad says.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ndh12qdIo
“Thank you” Jay says and I smile again.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡacWZ0mxTpT
“Taylor” Dad says.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGkKZLt6B0v
“Thank you for giving me this time, I’m so excited to come to your wedding. And I’m so happy to meet you Jay” he says turning to him.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEV18jUXcqB
“You too” Jay says softly holding onto me.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjlAXnvTMk
“No probs Dad” I laugh.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jdy1N3Zhh
“Any early days baby advice for a rookie” Jay laughs.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5cS0v1B7vT
“Son, I can already tell that you will be a great dad to your child” Dad says sincerely.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj0kQx5od1i
“You definitely don’t need advice, you got it” he adds.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvs4GbAu9EP
We say our goodbyes and I walk away from the situation feeling far better than I did before. No more anxiety, or worry. I look at Jay and smile.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6vrrt9A0s
“Take me home” I ask him.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOa5i50CYTq
“Always” he says softly taking my hand in his we walk off down the road, past the shops and restaurants. I hold onto him.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpOH5KwEtt8
“Thank you for being my rock Jay” I say softly looking up at him.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvSYYShrTJ
He chuckles.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG7YiD4qN10
“Thank you for being my everything” he says and he kisses my lips softly in this busy street. He stops me, and holds onto me as people filter around us. I chuckle and he kisses me again.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNEAdQtqt8L
“I love you” he says softly. His hands filtering through my hair, he smiles and kisses my forehead.
46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVzxvIql6b1
