Walking up the steps to psychology, in my pale blue skirt, trainers and leotard for dance I sigh. There's a clash, Jay has an exam for his finals. We spent an extra fifteen minutes together in the car, me wishing him luck and him kissing me. And now I'm running late too class.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWr9vyyDxaz
I rush down the now empty corridor and creak the lecture hall door open, I spot my seat next to Ross and head to it. Sitting down next to him quietly, I've already warned myself that this would feel different. We crossed that physical boundary last night. And we haven't spoken since. We need to speak, I plan that in my head. Instead of thinking about the heat between us. The feel of his hands grasping on my hips, his lips crushing into mine.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DkSF208Hn
"You okay" he says and I'm infuriated, not now Ross. Let's just get through this lecture.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmAD7BLWgiK
"Yes" I say instead.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Qmq1elPx6
"You good" I say not daring to look at him.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpnl4RMXLZO
"Mhmm" he says softly.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhk3uNBON8H
The lecture carries on as if we had never even spoken. I cross my legs over and write notes. Letting my hair fall like a veil in between us. I watch the clock every now and again waiting for it to be over.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVdhZnyakLn
Ross scrawls some important points on his notepad, he doesn't stare at me and he doesn't make me uncomfortable. And somehow all I can think about is him. I continually make notes and as we finish up I look up admiring the sheer amount I've written. It's the most I have ever written down in a lecture.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25h1vkaVeq
I pack my bag, still not looking at him.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj68huBGm5O
"Taylor" he says softly and it is my undoing.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBXmgJtECs
I look at him finally, anxiety etched over his features.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqEc31O3qF
"I'm sorry I didn't mean for this to ruin things" he says softly.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcMpLSfOqWl
"You have no reason to apologise. If anything it's a me problem. I'm sorry, not for what we did. But for making things weird" I say looking at him.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBYlj0m45B
The tension eases from his features.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGM4kMNSPr
"Hot chocolate or a latte" he asks.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0QQSgD6BGe
"Let's go" I say smiling at him.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv0zW5mkDSW
I walk behind him through the halls. He pushes his blonde hair back, my eyes watch his broad shoulders work through the crowd. When we're finally out of the building we walk up to the coffee shop. I text Jay, he's still got two hours left in his exam.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfcUPho1Fqe
Ross holds the coffee shop door open and I walk in hoping nobody we know is here. Because I want to talk to just him.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQ1PsO686b
He orders us drinks and we take a seat upstairs on the sofas. I sit back and sip my hot chocolate first.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhuou9RtNYn
"Thanks" I say to him, for the drink.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSuqTWYSK6
"You never have to thank me" he laughs.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHkftxIaRq
I turn my body to face his.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjsFhq5dcdH
"Ross, perhaps I should have properly considered things before we did all that last night. Our circumstances I mean." I say to begin.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3eLwubeRLY
"We have a lot of history, romantically speaking. And it wasn't fair of me" I begin.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDGuHWBgY5
"We do, I'm not gonna sit here and pretend I don't love you. But" he says and a smile plays across his lips.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu54Tc6W2sZ
"But I knew exactly the deal" he says softly and his hand caresses my cheek. I close my eyes, feeling his touch on my skin.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfaUuXjQQ83
"I loved it" I whisper before I can stop myself.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFtlhjN3Mg
"I loved it" he whispers.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfZlmJBIIT
His fingers graze my lips, and I get all in my head. Remembering what Jay said, about being present when I'm flirting or being naughty. I softly take his hand in mine and place it down off of me.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPorlvYj79R
He smiles and sips his coffee.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ97CFXhpdzD
"So we're all good?" I say to him.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡti8ZIgdOt8
"We're all good" he says looking at me.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ92MiOUY8xn
"Good" I say smiling slightly.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGHwJXkchb
"Where is Jay?" He says no inflection in his tone.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwL9goW2K5
"He's actually got a final exam" I clarify and he nods his head.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1KzOEhMdKn
We sit in comfortable silence, he crosses one leg over his knee and I tell myself to focus on anything other than last night.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLAW5xjO3I8
"Taylor we're all good I promise" he says after I've been silent for a while.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkweAYqwZXH
"I know" I say facing him again.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZq1EYIfiLW
His eyes assess me.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTquamAo87M
"Do you really love me?" I ask, for once addressing his claim. He looks at me, his hand on my thigh.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBPQMLicLnb
"I have loved you from the very beginning" he says.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFPM2LqQ6QU
I look away, at anything but him. I'm so selfish treating him like this, giving him parts of me as and when it suits me.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡctuNKa2D78
"I understand though. And for a while I've thought about this; I know that you're in love with Jay. I know that you're going to marry him and have a life with him. And of course I'm jealous. That's natural, but I put aside my jealousy to keep you in my life because I love you. What we did together doesn't change anything, I just got to have a part of you. And I'm happy with that." He says and I listen to him.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqxu7zMpR1
"I know you have feelings for me, but I also know that you love Jay. You wouldn't be able to fake what we did, or the kiss we shared in the hospital. I can feel how you feel about me through those things" he says and I look at him.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Ty8cAHzqK
Physical attraction is different to what I feel for Ross. Physical attraction is just one small part of it. I've always been physically attracted to him. But there is more to this. Something in the way he turns to me when things are rough, when he trusts me with everything, or when he continues to be there for me even though he probably shouldn't.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytfnyOqEpc
"Would you prefer it if I didn't do those things" I ask quietly.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4oI09hIfWT
"No" he says softly and his hands cup my chin.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9jdNtUTt3
"Don't move" he says softly.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqT27MgxhnY
"Just count this one as if it happened last night" he smiles and then he kisses me lightly on my lips. I almost tell him off, instead I turn to face the table blushing.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJnDVn3juJ
"What bit did you enjoy the most last night" I ask him after a minute.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHrJ1b98V6V
"My head being here" he says and his hand hovers over the space in between my legs.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡitf9DwBinc
He puts an arm around me and places his mouth near my ear.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66lajMxzI2
"I enjoyed making you go all over my mouth. I enjoyed you moaning and telling me that you liked it" he whispers.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2BE5Rf3cCJ
"What did you enjoy" he whispers hand still on my thigh.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtTQH7Vf2v4
"I enjoyed kissing you and touching you, making you go in my hands. And I loved sucking you whilst being filled by Jay" I say softly looking at him. A wide smile goes across his lips.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPQWcClZtz
"Naughty" he whispers and his lips are right there.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzI201OSqT
He just stares at me and I look into his eyes.
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2uDYKGiP6
"We should join the others" I say softly and he nods. I know he wants to kiss me, but letting him kiss me again would be wrong. So I put distance between us. We grab our things and then leave.
ns 15.158.61.51da2
